- Personal Health Information & Self-Help
Why No One Likes A Liar
Why No One Likes A Liar
One of the main types of persons I cannot stand would have to be LIARS. They make my flesh crawl and my stomach sink. They are my least favorite kinds of people. They make me nauseous and all kinds of whatnots.
I was driving in my car when out of nowhere I started thinking about this one dishonest person that I'm supposed to be working with soon. I'm thinking, "How am I supposed to trust this liar as my partner?" Then I started thinking of my general lack of approval for liars. Namely, people who don't keep their word. It's one thing when someone claims to be something that they are not, but to say that you're going to do something when you do not have any intentions of following through is disgusting behavior.
II Timothy 3:1-4 - This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be ... TRUCEBREAKERS ... TRAITORS...
Do you keep your word? How would you feel if you and a friend of yours had turned on each other? You had guns aimed and loaded at each other ready to shoot. Then both of you decide to call a truce and walk away. Then as you turn your back and take three steps you feel a bullet going through your skull. THAT'S a trucebreaker and THAT'S a traitor if you ask me.
What if the doctor told you that you had only two hours left to live and when all your family and friends and nursing staff left the room, Jesus walked in and said, "Hey, Jon, remember all that stuff they quoted me on in the Bible? Yea, the stuff about if you repent, I'll take you to heaven with me? Yea, that was all a lie. You got two hours to enjoy the rest of your life. After then, it's hell for you."
OUCH! How cruel? What if Jesus had told the man who was hanging on the cross beside him that he was going to take him to paradise, and then when the dude died, he found out Jesus had lied? How much use would a savior be to us if he was lying the entire time about everything that he promised us in the Bible?
That same feeling is what I feel like when someone tells me that they're going to do something and they don't. It is such a punk move in the truest sense. Some people just happen to have something come up like an accident or an emergency that prevents them from coming through on their word. I'm perfectly okay with that. I am a gracious and merciful and forgiving person. But some people know in their heart that they have absolutely no intention of doing something, and yet they fix their lying lips to say the words, "Yea, I'll be there. For sure, I'll work your shift. Definitely, I'll pick you up from work."
When I worked at a residential facility, I saw some of the biggest disappointed expressions on children's faces when their parent SAID that they're going to come pick the child up for a visit. These children are SO excited all day to see their parent or foster parent. They take longer showers, they comb their hair, they put on their cutest clothes, they smile the entire day, and they wait. And unfortunately, some of them just wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. Then when they realize that their mom or dad's word was worthless, their hearts crash and they act out. How cruel? The child would rather the parent say, "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't come on June 12th. But I'll definitely try my hardest to come the week after that. I don't want to get your hopes up, so I won't promise you anything, but I will sure try." They'd rather hear that instead of, "Yea, I'll be there! And you better be ready! I can't wait to see you, sweetie!" and then have you fail them and not show up. These are the parents that I deem worthless.
Your word is SO important. That's how people judge your trustworthiness and faithfulness. If they can't trust your word, you are basically nothing to them or at least you ought to be. You have absolutely no integrity. If you lie to people, you'd lie to God, and if you lie to God, you're a mess. I know it sounds harsh especially coming from a Christian, but it's how I honestly feel. I may change my mind tomorrow, but at this hour, I feel that people who don't keep their word are worthless until they begin to keep their word. They're still lovable, but to me, they are worthless.
Everyone who knows me knows that my word is bond. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, I'm there. It'll have to be some serious circumstances against me for me to let you down. I will drive six hours bone tired to go somewhere if I say I will be there. I know that if I don't, this person has no business ever trusting me again. For example, if I say, "Michelle, I'm going to help you move your things into your new apartment on Tuesday," I need to do just that. If I don't, then the next time I say, "Michelle, I'm going to come to your birthday party on Saturday," Michelle would be foolish to trust me totally. Of course we all make mistakes. But when you do, BE A MAN OR WOMAN ABOUT IT, and call the person to let them know that you can't make it and that you're sorry for any inconvenience you have caused them. That's the only way that this kind of liar will get any respect from me.
I had a friend (that I let go of), who was so scary, she could never say no when she really wanted to. A mutual friend of ours would invite her to church every Sunday. The scary friend would say yes almost every time she was invited, but thirty minutes before our mutual friend was about to leave to go to church, she would not answer the phone! She would just not answer. She wouldn't call to say she couldn't make it. She wouldn't even send a text. She was so scared to say no in the first place, that she would rather say yes, and then avoid our mutual friend when the time came to do what she said she would. She would never apologize; she just pretended it never happened. Of course, our mutual friend's parents don't trust the lying girl. They would even make fun of the daughter for actually believing the lying girl would show up! That girl has NO respect from me regarding her word. I have a basic level of respect for humans, but they'll get no extra respect from me. If she says that she's going to do something, I'd bet my bottom dollar that it won't occur. Our mutual friend would have had more respect for the girl had she said no to the church invitation and then later change her mind and go.
Here's a parable that Jesus used regarding this type of matter.
Matthew 21:28-31 - But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
I would rather my child say, "Mom, I don't want to wash the dishes!" than for my child to say, "Sure, Mom, I'll wash them," and then I get home with some company, I see that the dishes are stacked high. I'd rather the child tell me he doesn't want to do them so that I will at least know what to expect. I can trust the child who says "no" or "I don't want to!" My child wouldn't have the option of telling me no in the first place, but if he did have the nerve, I'd at least know that when I got home, I might still have a sink full of dirty dishes and will need to invite the company over after I know that the dishes are clean. The other lying child was too scared to say what he really felt and would end up making me look like a bad housekeeper with no respect for company.
I watched this episode of Bridezilla a few weeks back, and they were showing the worst of all the Bridezilla brides. This one case was SO SAD! The man who asked the woman to marry him, DIDN'T SHOW UP AT THE ALTAR! The bride was in her makeup, hair did, nails did, dress on, excited, and when she called her groom, NO ANSWER!!!! She spent THOUSANDS on her wedding and reception. She was surrounded by all her closest fam, friends, and coworkers, and she was embarrassed and depressed so hard because A MAN DIDN'T STAND ON HIS WORD! He could have at least called her and said, "I'm having second thoughts about this. I'm having cold feet. I don't think I'm ready for this. I hate to embarrass you like this, but I can't marry you today. We can always do this next month."
Of course, I'd be highly upset either way, but at least I'd know what was up. At least I'd have the option of dipping out and acting as if I left him! This sorry excuse for a man punked out and didn't know how to tell her he didn't want to marry her. There is no easy way to tell your bride that you're not going to marry her on her wedding day. BUT he chose to marry her on that day, so it was HIS responsibility to tell her and the family that he wouldn't be there. He could have at least showed up at the reception so that they could just party as an engaged couple, but he didn't even do that much. They eloped about three days later, but still it was DEAD WRONG behavior.
How in the world is she supposed to trust this man as her husband if she can't even trust his, "Will you marry me?" I definitely wouldn't trust his, "till' death do us part," or his, "in sickness and in health," or his "for richer or for poorer". Everything else that jerk said to me would be immediately filed in the "do-not-believe-this-mess" box. His word means absolutely nothing because we see how easily he can betray his own word. To lie to yourself is disrespectful to yourself. But she expects him to be faithful to her for the rest of their lives? Yea, right!
So if you're doing business or pleasure with me, don't lie to me about what you're going to do for me. You can lie and tell me that you're a millionaire. You can lie and tell me that you're an orphan. You can lie to me and tell me that you're from Jupiter. I don't care if you lie about yourself because that's between you and God. It has no bearing on my eternal life. But please, please, please don't tell me that you're going to do something for me, be somewhere for me, bring something for me, say something for me, and not do it.
And if you don't have a good enough excuse when you don't stand on your word regarding anything concerning me, I will probably ALWAYS second guess what you say. ALWAYS. I have a friend now that I don't trust worth a hill of beans because everything she says can be changed with the wind. She'd promise me a kidney and while I'm cut open on the table, she'd change her mind for a pork rind. I'd rather her just tell me that she will not give me that extra kidney of hers. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't bite. I don't even get rude with people anymore. Just be an adult about it and tell me the truth up front!
I don't want people to think that I think I'm perfect. I do the things I dislike coming from people ALL THE TIME! The only thing is that I don't do them to other people. Instead, I do it to God. I tell Him I'm not going to do something ever again, and then I end up doing it anyways. Sometimes the same day I say I won't. So this post will help me to realize how God might feel when we lie to Him about things I say I will and will not do for Him. I know God doesn't have some of the same weak feelings humans have, but I have reason to think that it still might bother Him.