Best ways to control anger
Anger is dangerous
All of us become angry. What matters is the frequency and intensity of the anger. Anger is natural as are other attributes of an Individual. So the first thing that I request my readers is to not have a feeling of guilt, that they cannot overcome this problem.
Feeling of guilt makes us weak from inside and a weak conscience cannot achieve any thing substantial which also include controlling anger. I, as a result of my analysis have found that most of the psychological problems of low or medium intensity, that a normal individual faces, can be cured by self-- without intervention of any doctor.
The only things that one requires is perseverance and courage to stick firmly to the commitments. The anger is no different.
I have described as follows some method by adopting which one can easily pull himself out of the quagmire and lead a happy and peaceful life.
Are you accumulating Anger ?
I have described --after this section-- in points, how to control anger. But the first thing that I want to clear immediately is that most people think themselves to be calm even if they burst outrageously sometimes. I want to tell them that though they must be applauded for very low frequency(low rate of occurrence) of their anger but somewhere even they need to rectify this habit.
Do not accumulate anger. What I mean to say is that it happens most of the time with us that we go on ignoring some events(that drive us frenzy). What we don`t know that we subconsciously continue to add to the reserve of anger in our subconscious mind. And some very fine day, when some detestable event is repeated, we explode. This explosion is more dangerous and calamitous to ourselves. The best way to avoid this accumulation is to apprise ourselves: each time when the event occurs, "It is just fine and acceptable." One Wonderful solution given by Psychiatrist Louis Synder Johnson,P.H.D is that if you are angry on someone then imagine him in baby diapers and doing foolish and funny things. You will find that your rage for him is almost extinguished. The other thing that you can try is channeling you anger through a particular hobby. The poets, musicians and even a Wood cutter apply same marvelous trick.
Anger is a weakness !
The next step after being outrageous
What you like to do when you are completely outrageous ?
Controlling Anger : a quick Glance
I have described, in points, causes of anger and the way to control it. I have elaborated the deserving points in detail afterwards.
- Drop your negative attitude. Most of the cases of anger occur due to this attitude.
- The best way to drop your negative attitude is to build a positive attitude.
- Do not stereotype anything or anyone. Whenever you start stereotyping it means that you are constantly fueling your conscience, either subconsciously or consciously, which leads to outrage when that topic-- which you stereotype-- comes before you.
- Learn to understand. Sometimes it happens that you only see your virtues and forget the problems that other person might be facing. When you do not understand him, you just spill your anger on him.
- I heard on FM once that, if you are very angry and it seems to you that you will soon loose your patience, then sing your favorite song. It may seem strange to you but as soon as you follow this habit you begin to realize it`s benefits.
- The other thing that you can do to control anger is to delay your actions. Anger is what ? It is most of the times discharge of powerful emotions without giving a second thought to it`s awful consequences. If you have something in your hand, you part yourself with it. If you want to shout on some one wait for sometime before you do so.
- The best way of delaying your actions is to count 10, when you are in rage and fury, before doing any thing that comes to your mind.
- Think before you act. This, at first, might seem to you hard enough but as soon as you force yourself into this habit you will find that half your problems are just gone because of this marvelous attitude of yours.
- Inculcate in yourself listening classical music. Classical music has such a tremendous influence on our conscience and they considerably help one to remain calm and composed because of excellent harmony they bring in our soul.
- Whenever you are very upset, stop thinking about the cause due to which you are upset. Instead you go out for a stroll in a park. Nature has it`s own charm and power to calm your temper.
- The other thing that you can do is to watch funny movies and clips. Also you can read funny jokes which will immediately dispel your anger.
- Do not expect too much. Too much expectation leads, sometimes to impossible demands or expectation, and hence when your demand remains unmet you become crestfallen which leads to frustration.
- Try to lessen frustration as much as you can. It happens most the time that frustration leads you to do unwanted things for which you regret later. One good way to avoid frustration is having a positive attitude.
- Do not react immediately. If you are short tempered by nature then this point is specially for you. Once you learn to curb this habit and you find that half of your anger has vanished and you can proudly present yourself as a calm and composed guy.
- There are some psychological irritations about which one cannot help but avoid. What I mean to say is that, with an individual it is possible that he has some natural dislike to certain things. It is better that you avoid it. With me it`s cacophonous sound. You may have yours.
More ways to tame the Anger
The fifteen points highlighted above are worthy enough to tame the devil. But still I have given below some more causes and methods by which you can easily get rid of the anger.
- It is really going to be very helpful if you have the capacity to laugh loudly. Most of you would have seen Bollywood movie, "Munna Bhai MBBS". In this movie Dr. Asthana laughs very loudly when he is on the verge of spilling his anger. You may try this. At first it may seem you impractical, since I have referred it to you from a movie. But yes, it indeed works.
- Try humor. Smile is the best anti-dote to the anger. Keeping a subtle smile keeps anger miles away. Though, you must be ascertained that it must be natural. Artificial smile is not going to help you in any way. When you are going through rough and terrible moments and you always remain serious. My recommendation is that you must inculcate in yourself jocularity, though not at the expense of dignity and felicity. Zest helps to ease the atmosphere and hence prevent rages that may result due to strained and uneasy circumstances.
- Leave your habit of belittling or criticizing any thing. This may, at first, seem to your source of great pleasure and sating ego but soon you become a negative minded and a restless person. Restlessness is the biggest hurdle in you aim if you want to control your anger.
- Learn to accept the things. This is mark of courage and greatness. For some faults--either yours or of somebody-- you may find uncomfortable with yourself and hence you continuously goad the defaulter( defaulter can be either you or somebody else).Tell me one thing, after the fault is done what can be done afterwards. The only thing you can do is to take a lesson and not repeat it in future.
- Anger also comes as a result of your weak habits which makes you create inferiority complex. I mean to say that what happens some times that you know that you are not smart in some fields-- like flirting with girls/boys(I have just taken a common example. I know my reader is a smart lad/lass. No offense )-- and when somebody says that you cannot flirt, you instantly react to defend yourself. I will tell you that there is no reason to react on that cheap statement of your mate. You just say to yourself, "I don`t need to be Rajnikant(James Bond)" i.e I don`t need to be smart in every field.
- Anger is also due to unintentional badgering by your friends. It may be in any form. Suppose, they tease you with some sobriquet that you don`t like. The thing that you should do here is to present yourself indifferent before them, when they call you by your sobriquet. Soon they will loose their habit since you do not give them opportunity to get pleased.
Anger leads to Quarrel
How to curb restlessness
Restlessness, though is not solely responsible but certainly it leads us to act in way which is derided by our friends and the society we live. And after that we become angry either on ourselves or on the guys who were frivolous as a result of our behavior.
A good way to curb restlessness is to stay on our decisions.The best example that I can furnish is of the case when we watch television or listen to FM. What we do is, we continuously change the channel and we do not stick to one. And then we increase the frequency of varying the channels and then we become restless and stop listening or watching.
The best way in this case to respect our decision of watching or listening a particular channel. Same thing we must apply in our life. We must never change our decisions very quickly. Once you learn to abide by your decisions you find amazing results.
Release your Anger : A video
Stereotyping is playing with Fire
A great Indian Saint, Pundit Shree Ram Acharya Sharma compares negative thinking to "playing with fire". A Stereotyping I believe is no different. There are many ways in which you can solve your this habit.
- Do not think too much. Most of the time, I have found out that, most of the guys, who stereotype, think a lot about the issue they stereotype. You involve yourself in more fruitful ambitions.
- Louis Synder Johnson says that All people from a particular race,sex,region,country are not same. Every body is unique. You always need to keep this fact in mind.
- Be inclusive. Learn to accept and respect the good qualities-- irrespective of the fact from where or whom you found it.
- Be generous and dispassionate. When you remain dispassionate it means that you really treat every one equally.
- Last but not the least thing is that you learn to become happy even if you are not directly or indirectly benefited. Also learn to share the sorrows of someone else who also is a human being-- irrespective of his race,sex,nationality.
Anger can be harnessed
There is also a good news about anger that I will tell you here. If you become angry then it also signifies that you have blood in your veins and not cold water. You must learn to harness the power of this remarkable enthusiasm and energy you have got.
The best way as I described earlier is to channel it. If you get angry on something, do not drain your emotions in a single blink of your eyebrows. Instead learn to nurture it. If somebody insults you because you are poor, do not respond him immediately.
Instead, work hard-- as all great and rich men, with humble beginnings, in history did. One word of caution that I would like to append here is that do not make your ambitions a revenge. What I mean to say is that if some body debased and derogated you for your poverty, do not become rich in order to avenge him. Revenge is not a solution to every thing.
Smile can work wonders
I have tried to explain everything in points and in a concise manner. My last appeal to my readers is that they must not let anger dominate them. And for this to accomplish they need to heed the points they found suitable for themselves.
The best way to follow the points is to make a commitment and let that commitment never fail. I have earnestly described the method which I found as a result of my psychological insight, analysis and reading on anger. I again state that these are the general methods. Every body in this world is unique. So, if you have any problem, that you may think to be unresolved-- even after reading this hub-- kindly notify me and I will try my best to solve your problem.
I welcome criticisms and wish my readers a calm and pacified temper.