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Bipolar Haze

Updated on December 12, 2009


When pain is magnified by arguments that sear the soul, and confusion is fueled by indecision, hope is the only redemption.  When the entirety of your being feels frozen in mid-step, hope often appears to be unattainable.  Which way do you turn and do you have the ability to do so.  Movement of any type seems to take a gargantuan effort, and that includes mental movement as well. 


The weight of the world seems to be on your shoulders and the pain brings tears to your eyes, which will never be shed. The effort that it takes for a tear to fall would leave you in a shambled heap upon the floor.  It feels as if you are caged inside a prison that leaves no room for anything, yet there is that faint glimmer of hope that shines in the distance.


Depression, elation; confusion, clarity; loss, hope; you don’t know whether you are coming or going, and all you want to do is let go of the silent scream that is caged inside you.  Who do you turn to when you feel that silent scream threatening to escape?  Who can you talk to when no one around you understands or hasn’t even inkling of what you are going through. 


Medications help but there is bleed through when the medication lets something slip and then the voice in you head becomes unbearable. Take another pill escape the horror that you hear inside yourself.  You know the scream is there yet you do not know why, or what to do to stop it.  No one understands, no one cares enough. At least that’s the way it feels.


In agony I cry listen to me, hear and understand my pain.  Is anyone out there?


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