- Mental Health
Bored to Pieces
Keeping the mind active
Tomorrow will be a week I've been home from the hospital after my bilateral mastectomy with TRAM Flap reconstruction and I'm going out of my mind with boredom.
I know, I know. I'm supposed to be taking it easy and recovering. Every time I try doing anything slightly normal, I end up hurting myself. There's this one spot in my new left breast, for instance, I'm convinced the surgeons either tied up the parts too tightly, or perhaps they just left something in there. Raise my arm, outstretch my arm, lift anything heavier than a paper cup and sharp pain in that spot reminds me I can't do what I am used to doing.
Walking is exhausting. I try to walk around the downstairs, to the bathroom, to the kitchen. When I return to my chair -- my throne, as the kids call it -- I'm nearly out of breath and need a nap or to just veg in front of the television or surf the net.
Going downstairs and getting set up in my throne only occurs after Mark helps me with my morning shower. Mostly, I can give myself a shower at this point, but I still can't reach parts of my back or my legs below the knees without some help from my wonderful hubby. He even lifts the big container of body wash to squeeze into my shower puff so I don't have to. But before I even face the shower, I take some pain medicine so my left breast doesn't tweek with pain when I try to wash my hair.
I know this is all boring shit, but I want others who may choose this route a clearer picture of what to expect. I'm so bored I could scream (if it didn't hurt to scream).
Once I'm down in the living room, I might get on the computer or watch some TV. It's weird...I can write, but reading puts me to sleep. Even the books on my Mp3 player don't keep me awake. And the crazy thing is, when I was in the hospital, I never wanted the TV on. I didn't want the noise.
So now, I sit here bored and getting depressed because I want my body to recover quicker. I want to go out and do stuff, but going out is exhausting. And my poor husband; he took two weeks off from work so he can be bored with me.
Actually, yesterday he started trimming back the bushes in the back yard. Other than mowing the lawn, I'm usually the one who does any real gardening in our yard. It's nice to have that break, still, gardening is something I enjoy.
I thought I might try painting (a canvas), but that hurts, too. So now, I'm trying to get some writing done with "Bridezillas" playing in the background. I'm a total sucker for that trashy show. It drives Mark nuts.
I started watching "Bridezillas" and "Platinum Weddings" to get ideas for Jesse's bar mitzvah. Hey, you can get a lot of good ideas. Well, maybe from the Platinum Weddings show, not so much from Bridezillas.
Thank heavens my friend sent me her month-free coupon to Netflix. I've run out of things to watch on TV and I've already watched two Netflix movies.
Depression is setting in because I'm on too many medicines that make me sleepy. I just want to feel good again!
Now, everyone is off doing their own thing. Mark is in the kitchen washing a pan, Jesse's up in his room playing the trumpet and Sophie...I don't know where she is.
Okay, it's time to take a walk. My temperature was up a bit this morning which probably means I'm not walking around enough. Okay, okay, I'm getting up in my stylishly hunched over fashion because I still can't stand up straight due to the TRAM slice. Let's just hope Lucy the bitchy cat doesn't try to trip me up again.