Bringing in The Joy
There is a Joy that pervades all things.
My daughter gave birth to a healthy baby boy, her first born, the other Thursday. I thus became a brand new grandparent, a first for me.
The arrival of a child is always a source of joy to the world.
But it was not at all that simple for our family. At least, not for me.
My daughter’s overextended hours of labor were already causing distress signs coming from both the baby and the mother. I was experiencing excruciating fear for both of them.
I had always written about acceptance of the moment as the key to finding the joy and wisdom of the moment. Can I believe in that even through this?
I had experienced that sacred kind of present moment’s joy and wisdom in the past; if only I could believe it now. Thoughts of the dangers of my daughter’s condition struggled to get my attention, as they had been this past approximately 36 hours we have been experiencing her labor with her.
Could I believe in being present to the moment? Could I believe in befriending my fear to let it share its wisdom?
Like a ray of sunshine breaking through the parting clouds, there it was. Joy arrived. My willingness to stay still for the length of time of about one breath, staying, befriending fear, allowed the moment to unveil its treasure: the underlying joy in all things that exist, in every moment.
I held on to the memory of that breakthrough as my daughter’s labor progressed, with her eventually giving birth by C-section, bringing in our new born baby boy.
I realize that the now me is so different from who I was when I was the parent, not yet the grandparent. The past me that I’m trying to unlearn is so full of grasping and struggling against the moment, struggling against fear, that only more fear can be born into the situation.
The now me has made peace with the present moment and started to learn how to befriend fear, finding out that befriending fear is equivalent to unearthing the underlying joy in every moment.
I can only feel compassion for the past me, for all the pain it had to go through, in ignorance of the beauty of being present to the moment.
I can only feel compassion for the present me and all beings who experience ignorance or forgetfulness of the beauty of being present to the moment.
Sitting with an Indescribable Feeling
A while ago, during my silent sitting meditation, I experienced an indescribable feeling. It could not be said in one word. At the least, it’s a mix of joy, awe, peace, comfort, … Maybe my soul was summarizing for me the details of the long story I had gone through these past two weeks, including the danger of possibly losing my daughter through her childbirth just the other week.
My attention touched on the subject regarding my question about how I was to write now that I’m concerned with helping my daughter care for her infant during my rest days?
“Let the article be cut short whenever my grandson needs my attention …” was the thought that arose. I was just hoping there was some mechanism in Hubpages that help you write hubs in installments.
Joy to the World. We have a brand new baby, mom, dad, grandparents, great grandparents, and … a brand new family tree. Unfortunately, we had to get down to earth to the financial details of paying our hospital bills. And fortunately, we were blessed and able. Praise Him.
The miraculous part of the bills angle is that the amount did not come from my regular income at all. They came from all “directions”, sources entirely unsolicited. I just needed to continue believing in The Power of Feeling Good Now .
There is a joy that pervades all things.
We can always bring in, get in touch with the underlying joy of each moment, by befriending whatever the present holds.