- Mental Health»
- Personality Disorders
Being raised in an abusive family, depression will set in. Watching someone you love get beaten to a pulp and your to little to do anything about it. Even so, you jump in between them to make it stop, to rescue, to protect. You live like this for ten years of your life and it's bound to have an effect. You too have been neglected, beaten and abused.
So where did this cycle start? Most people's people pleasing begins in there early childhood after living in an abusive home. One gets into the habit of rescuing and protecting. It becomes a natural responce/act later in life even if one is no longer around the abuse. One will seek out the needy because one is accustomed to protecting/controlling a situation. It becomes second nature. The people-pleaser can't bare to see anyone in need because the people pleaser can't bare to see pain whether it be from another abusive situation or simply someone less fortunate.
People pleasing can spill over into ones personal relationships/partners. Where the people-pleaser thinks only of their partners needs and neglects their own. Their needs are often unmet. People pleasing can be very tiresome and frustrating and one can be left resenting the very ones they care for (literally). It can devour ones life and life itself can become unbearable as well as unmanagable. The word NO isn't in a people-pleasers vocabulary.
This cycle of abuse must be broken, for the broken angels. How did things get so out of control! This abuse has turned inward. Now it's aimed at the child who's now an adult going out into the world blind. He/she has never had a life or been taught the meaning of it. He/she feels lost and alone. While growing up in the attention from the parents was not directed towards the children but towards the disfunction. The child had no upbringing, no healthy role model, nothing to follow. The child is basically left to fend for themselves. They can only take what they know with them.
Going out into the world is frightning and they don't know where to turn. All their accustomed to is aiding someone in their survival, another rescue, another save. This becomes their way of life, this is what works for them. People-pleasing has now taken hold and it won't let go.
Succeeding in life has now become a struggle. What they have learned now becomes a big part of their survival. They've never had a life of their own because they've been too caught up in someone elses and not by choice. Being the savior to everyone but themselves.
In most cases the people-pleaser feels hopeless, sad and abandoned and depression sets in. Their weakness has weakened their intire life. Their energy levels are drained. Their dreams are just dreams. There is no reality in them for they feel they will never transpire. They feel that no one will come to their rescue because no one has. They spend a lot of time crying from loneliness and sleeping to avoid the frustrations of the world and the hurt they have aquired from it. The unbearable feeling of alienation. Joy is lost and life has no meaning for the broken angel.
If you are a broken angel, know you are not alone. I too am a broken angel and I have lived to tell about it! My heart is with you! Whether you may believe it or not...God is also with you, He is with me everyday and I look to Him to guide me. If I had not been broken I may have never found Him......He is my Father now!