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Bury Your Cigarettes

Updated on January 21, 2011
A Smokers Cloud
A Smokers Cloud

Quitting Smoking: A Time To Mourn

You have decided to quit smoking. You have set a date. Nicotine patches are ready. Commitment is made. You are really going to do it this time. Not like the past ten attempts. You have covered all the bases. You are ready. Finally. To let go.

It is time to have a funeral for your cigarettes. Yes.That's correct. You are loosing a close friend. This friend has been with you for years, and the sooner you admit how much you love them and how hard it will be to live with out them the better off you will be.

They have been with you for so long.

  • When your first love fell for your best friend, your smokes were there to help you contain your anger.
  • When you lost your job, they were there to pick you up.
  • When you were sad, they soothed your broken heart.
  • When you lost someone you loved, they helped you stuff your grief deep within you and move on.
  • They were there when you were happy.
  • They helped you celebrate with a drink.
  • You enjoyed their company with a cup of coffee, in the cold outside your office building.
  • When you were stressed, they eased your troubled mind.

All along, and now, at this moment, they are killing you .

The ultimate betrayal. The kiss of Judas. Something you have depended on for so long and loved so loyally is killing you.

It is you or them.

Tombstone, from above
Tombstone, from above

Dig A Hole

Dig a hole. Make it deep. And put in that last pack and your lighter too.

Give a little speech. Something like this:

My dear Parliament Menthol Lights (insert your brand), I remember the first time we met. You were so refreshing. I have always loved how you made me feel. Over time we have grown apart and although I love you and will miss you, you make it impossible for me to hold on any longer. I have a life to live and I want it to be long. Goodbye, my friend, we will not meet again.

Now cover them with dirt and have someone strong roll a rock over them.

You may feel, over the coming weeks, great loss. You may need to find a healthy way to deal with your emotions without the crutch of your old friend. You may need to run up two flights of stairs to remind yourself what they did to your lungs. You may need to lay on the bathroom floor and cry it out.

And then you may need to look in the mirror, and notice you look a little better, somehow. Take a deep breath. Yes. you actually can breath a little deeper. Smell your clothes. They smell like - clothes - not smoke. Are your teeth looking whiter yet?

And now that the pain is dissolving away, try those stairs again. Getting easier? You aren't coughing anymore. You feel like exercising.

You glance back at the spot where you left your old friend, and yeah, you miss them a little still. But not enough to go back. They are where they belong and you won't be joining them anytime soon.


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    • profile image

      Richard Walz 

      9 years ago

      Cute Idea.... but let me know of any success stories that follow. If you have to goto this extent to hide your smokes from you I don't think your gonna have much trouble at the 711 while buying a slurpee...

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 

      11 years ago from Chennai

      LOL, that's a good reply!

    • amy jane profile imageAUTHOR

      amy jane 

      11 years ago from Connecticut

      Hi Kenny, thanks for commenting! It works if the rock covering them is so big that you can't move it in middle of the night to dig them up. And if you have absolutely no access whatsoever to a fresh pack :)

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 

      11 years ago from Chennai

      Great hub, enjoyed reading it. Does it work? Anybody?

    • amy jane profile imageAUTHOR

      amy jane 

      11 years ago from Connecticut

      Hi Toyia, thanks so much!

      Hi LdsNana, I agree. In order to quit smoking (or any bad habit) it is essential to focus on all the benefits that are waiting for you when you are successful! You have to look ahead. Thanks for reading and commenting :)

    • amy jane profile imageAUTHOR

      amy jane 

      11 years ago from Connecticut

      Hi Doghouse! Thanks for reading, I am glad you enjoyed it!

      Tagtopics - I know your struggle! If I find any will power I will send it along to you :)

    • LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

      Kathryn Skaggs 

      11 years ago from Southern California

      Amy -

      I like this. I gives power to the individual, vesus victim. And that is what choice is... Power over our lives.

      You cannot give a thing up, which is negative with any 'hope' for sucess, unless you put back that which is positive and overules the weakness...



    • Just Toyia profile image

      Just Toyia 

      11 years ago from Tennessee

      cute Hub Amy! I like the idea..

    • profile image


      11 years ago

      Sorry Amy but, like a loved one or family member, you know that funeral will come one day - that doesn't mean I could bring myself to bring that terrible day forward.

      If, while your burying your fags one day, you dig up a stash of willpower please let me know!

    • In The Doghouse profile image

      In The Doghouse 

      11 years ago from California


      This was so good. It is very creative and funny. I love the idea! Great job!


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