Creating Boundaries for Emotional and Mental Well-Being
I tend to live in my head. I’m a thinker, and I constantly have full blown conversations in my head. This is why I do my best to protect my mind at all cost, because if I don’t I am liable to let the outside world drive me insane. Boundaries are a major part of my self development plan. Even if you don’t live in your head like I do, it is still important that you establish your own set of boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well being.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are mental or physical limits that separate you from other people and things. We are all familiar with physical boundaries which protect our physical space, but mental boundaries protect our mental space and prevents other people’s opinions, problems, and stuff from negatively affecting our mental and emotional wellbeing.
Know what you will not accept from other people
There are two things that someone can do to me or in my presence that will set me off. It will cause me to lose it. One is physical or verbal abuse. I will not sit back and stand for it, I will not turn my head, and you will not do it in my presence. The other is betrayal, particularly lying and backstabbing, and while I understand that everyone is on their own journey and learning and figuring things out, I cannot be a victim to their malice and choose not to be in their presence.
When establishing your own boundaries, it is important that you know what you will and will not accept. What are those things that put you in a bad head space? Make your boundaries known and have consequences for people who cross those boundaries. Consequences can be verbal warnings, choosing to take a break from someone, or whatever you need to do to protect your energy.
A major part of having mental boundaries is self-awareness. You must be in tune with you so that you know when you are falling into a bad head space. Self-awareness allows you to know when something isn’t right so that you can respond appropriately. Pay attention to your thoughts and your experiences and how you feel in your experiences. Be present with yourself.
Know where to find peace
Having boundaries is about being in control of your mental space. This means that you are going to have to know where you can find peace. I know that I can always find a little peace in writing, or a bubble bath, or crafting. What we do affects how we feel, so know where your little place of peace is.
Be secure about who you are and what you know
If you aren’t secure about you, then its going to be easy for the outside world to make you question yourself. Have you ever thought you were clear about what you felt and felt justified in your feelings, but as soon as you started talking to someone about how they made you feel, they made you feel like you were crazy? Or you allowed them to let you accept something that you shouldn’t accept? When you are clear about who you are and what you know, you can’t be manipulated into accepting something less than what you deserve.
Boundaries take practice. Every day you must be present and aware of your emotional state so that you can get in control. People treat us how we treat ourselves, and when people see that you have clear boundaries and you are clear about who you are, people will either fall in line or get out of your way. Boundaries aren’t just for other people, boundaries apply to circumstances as well. Don’t allow circumstances to put you in a bad head space. Have a limit on how long you’re going to think about it, go to your peaceful place, and designate a time to come back to it. You only get one mind so it is your job to nurture it so make sure boundaries are apart of your self development plan so that you can be well on your way to a healthier version of yourself.