- Mental Health
Some Things Will Never Change... Unfortunately
I have the beautiful opportunity to be apart of a wonderful family for 3 years now. My Fiance, my 15 year old step son and my beautiful 7 month old baby boy.
Since I began my journey within this family, long before my son was conceived, my fiance's ex-wife has been nothing shy of obsessed with our every move. She claims to be acting in her son's defense, constantly stating that my fiance and I are stealing from my step son, depleted an account of his that never existed, denied him birthday gifts, ruining his life by bringing an illegitimate child (his baby Brother) into his life and home... the list of accusations goes on and on. This is coming from the individual who after she repeatedly cheated on his Father and was asked to leave, 7 months later finally did once she had her claws dug into someone elses bank account, left her son.
What kind of a Mother leaves her child? Now being a Mother, I don't care what happens my son will ALWAYS come with me. God forbid anything go south with my fiance and I, I will always have my son with me. Not part time, not half the time... he will always be with me. No questions asked. Of course, he would have time with his Father but I would never be so incredibly selfish to leave him behind.
I can only imagine how that must have impacted him and continues to impact him. As it is the poor kid will never know what's it's like to have a good Mother. He's stuck with this woman for life. He goes with her and she drills him with questions about what his Father and I are doing, do, planning to do etc. For what? What does she care? He is more than well cared for. Why can't he live with us full time? I'm sure if it weren't for the hefty monthly child support she receives every month, she would have him living with us full time. He attends school in the town we live in, all of his friends are here and he has room to breath here. I don't know why she receives child support at all. She doesn' support him. She only takes him for 3 days out of the week. He would be so much better off here at home with us full time.
Why is she so incredibly obsessed with our or my life? Why does she continue to spread lies about me and my step son's Father? Why does she elude to my fiance that she speaks to my step son about us and fills his 15 year old mind full of lies? I don't get it. She's not hurting me, she's not hurting my fiance, she's hurting my step son. Some day, if not already, he is going to find out what kind of a person that she truly is. A liar, a cheater and a thief.
She claims to not "ignite" conversations about our life but listens when he vents to her because he needs someone to talk to. Hahahaha! What 15 year old boy vents to anyone about things that are going on? Nevermind things that are not going on. The don't. Why is she so incredibly delusional?
She posted a lie about me on Facebook. That I sell her son's clothing for my own personal profit. She used my full name and posted it out there for the world to see. This all came about when my step son had outgrown some clothes. I took them and advertised them on Ebay and Craigslist. I would sell the used clothes, give any money earned from the sale to his Father and we would purchase new, bigger clothes for him. How is this for my own personal profit? She called the police and accused us both of stealing and the police actually called us and requested that the ads for these articles of clothing be taken down. Seriously?
The latest is a story that she has posted on Facebook and emailed to my fiance about blended families. If you've read my first HUB, you'll understand more about what we have already gone through with this individual and the situation that she has created.
She posted on Facebook "I know someone who should read this"
A friend of mine posted this letter on F Book and it is a great read. I thought you would enjoy or at least give you something to ponder. It was written by Jada Pinket Smith: "Blended families are NEVER easy, but here's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for your situation because...we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package...Period. If I didn't want that, I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned that if I am going to love Trey, I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him...his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other...but we have learned to love each other. I can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. That's selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP...I've been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant...Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. Its time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are. J"
She followed up her "story" post on Facebook with an email to my fiance. The email included the above story and also included the below text...
Becuase I cannot include names I've replaced my step son's name with "BLANK" and mine with "HER" "We need to find a way to get back to a time when BLANK saw his parents as Unified in their pursuit to ensure a stable and healthy upbringing. BLANK made a very astute observation: "In HER eyes, a rivalry exists". He is absolutely correct and it perplexes me because her concerns of a rivalry are unfounded. Hopefully the tincture of time will help her to understand the importance of allowing BLANK's parents to interact in a way that is perceived as healthy through the eyes of our son. He has been through so much and time is ticking away. We only have two years left of daily influence and he deserves for things to be better. Lets not send him out in to the world with a warped opinion of how parents/adults act through adversity. We are better than this. You are better than this. Have a nice day."
Again, if you read my early Hub's you'll see that this person is insane. Now she is claiming that her and my fiance need to have healthy interactions? Is she having another bipolar moment? I'm so sick of this behavior. Why does this behavior continue? How can we stop this? We've been to an atty, the local court house... nothing can be done.
It's very sad but I'm wishing away my poor step son's youth. I can't wait for him to turn 18 and be off to college so we won't have to deal with this person every week. I'm wishing my own life away, the life my baby boy and my fiance. All because this person is intimidated by me, jealous of the happiness that I have brought into this home and into my step son's life. It must really burn her to hear my steps son speak of how he loves being a big brother.
Get a life lady and get yourself some help.