Achieving a Quality Nursing Home/Rehab and Elder Care

I highly recommend Home Instead Senior Care: I worked for them. They are good.

Somehow since I was a child, I've been close to my Mom as is also my sister -5yrs older than me. We pray together, we spent time together more so than my older siblings did.

My mom is a delicate woman, who had 12 pregnancies and has 10 living children. Whenever I tell someone that, like my primary care doctor, she says to me, "Oh your mother is a saint."

My Mom has lived and stayed married to my father for over 50 yrs now. Without any mean intentions being meant, he is one of the most difficult people I have ever known to get along with and yes I think she is a saint in that way and in her ways of faith. She went to Mass everyday for over 20 years until she got sick. She would kneel on the marble floor to receive Communion even when she could barely walk.

I have treasured my mother over the years~I wrote a poem in 2000 called The Wonderful Ways of my Mother. (I'll have to get a copy of it sometime.)

This past week has been difficult......I won't say that horrible things happened, but you may be able to imagine how it affected me- I truly love her deeply, I may not always do everything she asks, but I care so much that I've been in tears. And I was angry too, at the level of care in the rehab my Mom was in. Just like she mothered me, so I feel I must defend and "mother" her especially now at her age of 77.

My Mom put off for 12 yrs a hip operation, she was really afraid to have. She finally had it days ago. She was in the hospital a few days and I'm so glad my older sister came and stayed with her overnight. Now my Mom has been in a rehab for 2 days. I saw her the 1st day and I am not a judge of rehabs or nursing home type places but I could feel her discomfort and did all I could. I spent 4 hours with her before it got dark so I could drive home.

Later, I got calls, one at 3am, that she -mom- was left in her feces for 2 hours- apparently this happened a few times, the nurses don't come right away. I felt my Mom was getting anxious especially this morning when I talked to Cathy my closest sister in age, and we tried getting thru to other family members to figure out the truth- if she was in a bad place or over reacting.

Sad Truth Of Nursing Homes

It is sad that many nursing homes are not very good in this country of America. To hear or see that elderly people--especially your own--are not properly cared for or neglected is very upsetting. It's true that many elderly people become grouchy or "difficult" as they get older, but many function and can function very well and deserve as all people do, the right respect.

Other factors

Unfortunately, other factors play a role:

• MOM IS SELECTIVE IN WHO VISITS HER, AND GETS LESS VISITORS AND FEELS ALONE
• SHE'S ESPECIALLY SCARED BECAUSE OF THE OPERATION SHE HAD FEARED AND THIS REHAB IS GIVING HER AN UNCOMFORTABLE "VIBE"
• MOST PEOPLE ARE BUSY WORKING TO FIND THE TIME TO STOP BY
• I UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO GO FAR AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS

This being said, Please be careful and keep an eye on where your loved ones go.This place where mom is at is Catholic and has a chapel which she wanted, but it's not a good place. As far as I know, she will be moved. Thank God for my older siblings who know what to do! Finally, I want to note this rehab (or whichever one) is only temperory until she can walk better from hip surgery.

Be aware, you can get your loved one moved, if you or they feel it's unsatisfactory--don't be afraid to fight, even if you have low income or insurance--there just may be a better place. (My father was the king of hagglers- people who insist on making a deal!!)