ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Question of Marriage

Updated on December 9, 2014
To a Buddhist Nun, Celibacy Is True Liberation
To a Buddhist Nun, Celibacy Is True Liberation | Source
According to The Buddha, one should marry only someone one can look up to
According to The Buddha, one should marry only someone one can look up to | Source

A Buddhist Nun on Marriage and Chastity

“It doesn’t much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find next morning that it was someone else.” –Samuel Rogers

More has been said about the ills of marriage than the advantages. Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she is a householder. Marriage is a cage from which those within wish to escape and those without want to get in. Marriage is for men who are tired and women who are curious. Both are disappointed...

There are the rare who will never ever marry. Sensei (teacher) Yuko Tanaka is 40 and a `sanyasin’.

“I understood that spiritual practice is more important than marriage and I was 23 then,” she says with a radiant smile. “I went in for training in the temple for one year and when I returned home, my parents had fixed three matches for me. I told them I needed time to think it over. I realized that the world was a dirty place after the purity of the temple. I went back to the temple and that’s where I’ve been for 14 years.

Spiritual practice is the purpose of life. All else but the spirit is transient. Lust is an ordinary emotion and for the ordinary. I wanted to transcend it. This raises your spiritual and mental level and increases your powers of concentration. We need to realize our divine true selves. I knew that marriage would bring conflict and I didn’t want that. This tie between husband and wife is based on the deepest karma. The karma that stems mostly from enmity and revenge, and rarely from appreciation. Either you need to repay a big favour to the person who becomes your spouse, or you need to stop hating him.”

But what of the ideal mate, I asked. Is there such a thing?

“There are many kinds of people,” said Sensei. “Some part of them is good and some isn’t. One cannot say that every person has an ideal mate waiting to be found. Some people never find them. Sometimes the ideal mate comes to you but you’re blind to him. It depends on your karma from your previous lives. And remember, the more you love, the more you can hate. If you want a good person as a mate, be good yourself and he will come to you.”

Amazing revelation, isn’t it, when most of us spend a major part of our lives waiting for that ideal mate?

"I'd Rather Live With a Guy"

Says Rima Pawoosker, 29 and single, “I haven’t married yet because I have not found the right guy yet and I never really believed in marriage. I believe in living with a guy instead. If you love someone, you don’t need marriage to prove it. Marriage holds you down. Besides, I’ve seen a lot of unhappy marriages where they stay together just because they’re married. It’s ridiculous. In the future if I find the right guy maybe I’ll live with him. But I won’t feel inadequate if I don’t marry. And I don’t like the idea of having kids anyway. I don’t think I have motherly instincts as such. Many women marry for the sake of having babies. Or they marry for money. They’re totally dependent on men and need them to look after them. I want to earn my own money and be independent even if I’m living with someone.”

Some Prefer To Live Together Rather Than Marry
Some Prefer To Live Together Rather Than Marry | Source

A Feminist View on Marriage

Then there’s the feminist. Protima Iyengar, 30, says that marriage is a burden for women and that men just need mothers to look after them and are not willing to change at all. “I’m too independent. I don’t want to pick up socks and things after a man. I’m educated and earning fairly well. I have my parents and single friends for company. I have platonic relationships with men and never felt the need for romance. I feel so fulfilled with teaching kids. You enter their world of innocence and things like marriage and romance don’t even enter your mind. I prefer to make friends with women who are single by choice, not by circumstance.” Protima says that the Banjara Academy runs a sort of singles club where single women from all walks of life meet and discuss things like art and bringing up kids as single mothers. “Women are more stable intellectually and financially today,” she adds. “They are redefining themselves.”

To Marry or Not to Marry - that is the Question for Many
To Marry or Not to Marry - that is the Question for Many | Source

The End of Marriage?

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)