ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Communication: the key to build loving and healthy relationships.

Updated on March 1, 2016

"The key to healthy relationships is good communication"

We all have read this somewhere. But ,do we know how?. Look around. Look at your family, your neighborhood, your country, the world... Does it look like we know how to relate to each other?.

There is a saying that goes something like this - " The biggest mistake made by most human beings: listening half, understanding quarter and telling double. " Read the phrase again. Where does this pattern starts? . We do not listen, we assume, therefore interpreting and making up stories in our minds.

We do not want to understand, we just want to be right or get what we want. It is impossible to understand another person without listening to what they say, or be understood without being listened to. We never get to truly know each other.

How can we make that connection with another human being? . Well sadly, the majority of us don't. We make up stories in our heads about who the other person is- we give them shape, color, contents and context. And when the other person does not behave in the way we expect them to, we get angry, dissatisfied and disappointed.

"Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advice,or coach,or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen."

-Margaret Wheatley.

Becoming better listeners

I truly believe that if we learn how to communicate effectively, it will be the end of so many awful conditions and hardships, especially for the younger generations. So many things could be prevented if we just listen to one another.

If you are interested in experiencing a deeper understanding of not only the people you love, but also yourself, please keep reading. It's an intense ride and it can be scary, but I can assure you that it's totally worth it.

Practice, practice, practice !

I have a task for you. Ask yourself this:

When you are having a conversation, what is going through your mind?

A- When is going to be my turn to talk?

B- How what it's being said applies to me?

C- This reminds me of the time when I.......

D- Are you thinking about what you are going to say next?

E- Are you judging the other person? (Right/wrong, good/bad)

F- Do you interrupt the other person mid-sentece?

If you answer yes to one or more questions, you are not listening. You do not understand what the other person is trying to say, and without understanding, it is simply impossible to build mutual trust and respect.

Try this for a week:

When you are having a conversation, imagine having a mute button. Use it and pay careful attention to the words being said. Repeat what the other person is saying in your mind,every single word.

Try to experience the person's words from their point of view. Approach this exercise with curiosity. Observe the bodylanguage; is there tension,excitement, sadness?. Is the other person talking fast or slow?. Is there confidence or insecurity?.

Approach the conversations in the same way as you do when you are reading a book, or watching amovie,be interested. If you don't understand something, ask questions. Do not be quick to judge,do not interrupt, and just be curious.

After having practiced this (when you have a moment alone), notice what is happening inside yourself. What are you feeling?. Write this in a notebook or journal. Notice what happened to those around you. Has something changed?. Record everything else that you feel is relevant.

This exercise can be exhausting at first. It takes a lot of energy to turn your attention to a different direction. But with some practice, you will see the difference. It's like meeting someone for the first time even though you've known each other for years.

You will get to know the real person and not just the parts that you pick and choose. You might like it, you might not, but the important thing is that you are seeing what it is and not just a mind construction of what you want them to be.

It is truly amazing how much we are missing out. To really connect with your wife, husband and /or kids is priceless. It affects every aspect of our lives, including the relationship we have with ourselves.

Imagine waking up from a fogy dream, and seeing everything clearly again. We suddenly become aware of a new dimension, without all the pety drama and stubbornes of needing to be right in every argument.

Just the truth, plain and simple.

I am posting more tips and techniques next week let me know how it goes . I hope that you find this article helpful and informative.

Love to all!!!


Helpful websites.

I am all ears...

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thanks for your comment sukhneet!!

    • sukhneet profile image

      Sukhneet Kaur Bhatti 

      2 years ago from India

      Agree to everything that you added in the post


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)