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Steps to Gain Complete Confidence

Updated on June 3, 2013
Kacie A Ingram profile image

“Koach” Kacie - I help professionals gain confidence to succeed in today's job market.

Confidence Defined:

The belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.

It is more about the ability to improve rather than continuously producing improved results. When you are confident you will have less stress and you will be less reliant on the opinion of others. You will not seek the approval of others because you approve of yourself.

“Perfectionism is slow death.” ~ Hugh Prather

It’s not about being perfect, rather being your best. Reaching your full potential!

Leap of Faith
Leap of Faith
Making forward progress
Making forward progress
Happy, Balanced
Happy, Balanced

Exploring Confidence

Many things come to mind when I hear the word confidence. Characteristics such as posture, body language, speech, dress, and even resiliency. For some it comes naturally and for others it is illusive.

You immediately know when you meet someone and they are completely confident. They seem to have a lightness or swagger about them. They are difficult to rattle and appear to have “it” all together.

Part of being confident is to trust your abilities and trusting that you are surrounded with the best people and situations. Things may not always go as planned, but they do work out for the best. It is not just about ability, but a belief in yourself on all levels. It is not about the mistakes that were made, but what you learned from those mistakes.

Complete Confidence comes from the inside out. Not one or the other, but both. For most it does not happen overnight or immediately. You must relinquish any self-esteem issues or doubt. You can’t walk the walk if you don’t have the talk.

Why is confidence sought after and why is it seemingly so important?

It is simple, confidence plays a major role in everything that we do. For example to stand up for your beliefs, to speak publicly, to walk into a crowded room alone, to wear a bikini, and to interview for a job.

The Oscar for best actress goes to Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook.

Displaying Confidence ~ Jennifer Lawrence

In my mind a great example of being confident is Jennifer Lawrence. During the Oscars when on the way up to the stage to accept the best actress award, she stumbled and fell up the stairs. I’m sure she was mortified, but you would never know by how she handled herself with dignity and poise. She acknowledged that it happened, and moved on.

Honeymoon in Aruba - Snorkeling
Honeymoon in Aruba - Snorkeling
Honeymoon in Aruba - Rope Swing
Honeymoon in Aruba - Rope Swing
Las Vega - Show Girls
Las Vega - Show Girls
Having Fun - Butch Walker Concert, ATL
Having Fun - Butch Walker Concert, ATL

Steps to Gain and Sustain Confidence:

1. First and foremost you have to be Self-Aware.

  • What are your Strengths?
  • What are your Weaknesses?

2. Constant and Consistent Self-Improvement.

a. Grow Your Mind.

i. Reading

Ii. Webinars, Teleseminars, Seminars

iii. Classes

iv. Intellectual Conversations

b. Take Care of Your Body.

How can you be confident if you feel sluggish, are overweight, eat poorly and don’t exercise?

i. Yoga

ii. Pilates

iii. Walking, Jogging, Running

iv. Weight Lifting

v. Cross Fit

vi. Hire a Personal Trainer

vii. Join a Gym and Go Regularly

Sometimes having a workout buddy helps keep you motivated.

3. Identify and Understand what you are Afraid of and Embrace it.

  • Public Speaking
  • Networking
  • Ruffling Feathers
  • Thinking Outside of the Box
  • Taking Action
  • Failure

4. Celebrate Your Wins regardless of magnitude.

  • Be Proud of Yourself and Your Accomplishments.
  • Treat Yourself.
  • Positive Reinforcement. Tell Yourself Good Job!
  • Share With Others Your Successes. They Will Celebrate with You!
  • Do Something for YOU that makes you Happy (massage, yoga, exercise, shopping, etc.).

5. Stay Positive

  • There is ALWAYS a Silver Lining (sometimes you have to search for it).
  • Journaling is a great source for Reflection.
  • Meditate to Clear Your Mind and Relax.
  • Have NO Regrets. You Can Not Change the Past, but You Can Make Adjustments for the Future.
  • SMILE, Laugh, Enjoy Life!


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    • Kacie A Ingram profile image

      Kacie A Ingram 4 years ago from Columbia, South Carolina

      Thanks for reading and for your comment.

      I believe that we have to work towards our goals, whether it is confidence, success, or personal growth. If we just sit around and wait on "life" to get better and do not take responsibility or action then our situation will remain the same or decline. We own our success and our failures. We just have to decide how much we truly want what we desire.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      building confidence may be easy for other while hard for some. This is why the family, friends and the people around the person need to put some effort in helping the person. I love the fact that you included growing your mind in getting confidence. In the end, it's the person himself/herself who does the change.