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Self Confidence Building How to develop an engaging personality

Updated on December 16, 2016

The author at sixty

Arthur Thomas Ware or Tusitala+Tom has been into creative writing, public speaking and self-knowdedge for most of his 74 years.
Arthur Thomas Ware or Tusitala+Tom has been into creative writing, public speaking and self-knowdedge for most of his 74 years.

Self Confidence Building - How to develop an engaging personality

When we are young we often envy people who seem confident, assured, and at ease in Life's situations. As a teenager, or man or woman in your early twenties, you might wonder how to improve your personality, how to be like that older person you so admire and would like to emulate. They seem so articulate, so worldly-wise. Were they gifted that way? Did it come to them quite naturally?

The answer is that it probably didn't.

Improve Confidence - Pleasing Yourself

When we talk about personality we are talking about "how we think other people see us," and "how we see ourselves."

We really have negligible control about how others think and feel about us, so best leave that aside. There an old song line, "You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself," and this is true. As William Shakespeare said: "To your own self be true, and it follows as the night follows the day that thou canst be untrue to any man."

Pleasing yourself means - as far as your own personality is concerned - being content with the way you believe you come across to other people. You gain this insight from two things, belief in yourself, and observation of how people respond to you.

So how can you develop this belief in yourself so as to improve confidence?   As previously said, you have negligible control over how others think and feel- if any at all.

Toastmasters' International gave me the confidence to get out in front of audiences

Once a shy, introvert, by my mid-forties I was out speaking to audiences. Today, at 74, I've given around 1,000 speaches and spoken to around 40,000 people.
Once a shy, introvert, by my mid-forties I was out speaking to audiences. Today, at 74, I've given around 1,000 speaches and spoken to around 40,000 people.

Build Self Confidence - Taking an interest in other people

The answer to the question: "How can I develop an engaging personality?" is both simple and complex. The simple answer is by taking an interest in other people, and interacting with them in ways that are pleasing to you both. The complex answer is in developing yourself so that you become an interesting person in your own right.

The first part: taking an interest in people comes from your nature, your character. Do you love people? Do you love your self (note I put that last in two words, not yourself but your self) Do you love and respect the person you believe yourself to be? If you do, you will find that you also love others. You might not like everyone. You might not approve their behaviour - but you will love them.

But let's get on to the more complicated areas of developing an engaging personality.

Build Self Confidence - Become an interesting person

Living is a life-long learning process. To become an interesting person, a person with an engaging personality, we need to have within us both the knowledge and wisdom which will make us that way. So how to do it?

Keep learning things! Read for both enjoyment and education. Go out and do things, as many and multifarious things as you can. Gain experience. Mix with people. Undertake tasks within a team. Try some solitude. Lots of different jobs and backgrounds will make you far more interesting person overall than the chap who has held down the same job for forty years. Move around!

But more than anything else, deliberately set out to overcome bashfulness in talking before strangers and large gatherings of people. Join an organisation such as Toastmasters' International. Stay in it. Nothing gives us more confidence than being able to speak in public.

A small, Probus Club audience I addressed in May 2010
A small, Probus Club audience I addressed in May 2010

Improve Self Confidence - Engaging Personality

It is not possible to go into all the ways in which you can develop an engaging personality in one short Hubpage. Volumes have been written on the Personality. However, I will say this: If you desire self-confidence, if you want a good personality, and you make continuing efforts to be this way, you will be this way. Nothing can withstand the continual application through action of a heart-felt desire. You'll get there. No doubt about that.

So do the things mentioned above: ongoing, never ending self-education; mixing, trying new experiences, learning how to communicate, and then teaching what you've learned. Before you know it you will be not only confident, then competent - as an engaging personality you'll be outstanding!

I hope you enjoyed Self Confidence Building and How to Develop An Engaging Personality. Let me know if you like more of this sort of thing, eh? And, if you want to build self confidence, keep at it. It will come.

Tom

Comments

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  • profile image

    Muhammad Raza Khan 

    7 years ago

    this is a good way to develop your personality and confidence.............

  • kimh039 profile image

    Kim Harris 

    7 years ago

    thanks t.tom. good stuff here.

  • profile image

    aheil 

    7 years ago

    This was a useful hub. Just like I marked it :)

  • profile image

    aheil 

    7 years ago

    This was a useful hub. Just like I marked it :)

  • Tusitala Tom profile imageAUTHOR

    Tom Ware 

    8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

    This is the sort of feedback every Hubber likes to hear.

    Thanks, Lovemylifefan.

    Tom.

  • profile image

    lovemylifefan 

    8 years ago

    I think you succinctly expressed the truth about self confidence.

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