- Mental Health
Lost Confidence ? - How To Get Your Confidence Back When You Think You Have Lost It.
Lost confidence ? Let me show how to get it back.......
when you think you have lost it, is about recognising that you have first of all got a confidence problem. By doing this you are well on your way to getting it back. Many people don't even know that their loss of confidence for whatever reason could be affecting their everyday life to the point that they have real self esteem problems which stem from an early age.
Very often a life event causes the problem but can take time to realise this which can be some months or even years after the event.
If you think that you may have confidence problems then read on to find out how you can help yourself and take back control in your day to day life.
You have to be like Rocky
Definition of Confidence
The definition, for the word confidence in my estimation is being in a state of self-assurance and being so positive of an outcome that you believe it is a certainty that it will happen. Being confident in your own ability is probably the most important trait to have in all situations in our lives.
This is not always the case though is it? There are occasions when we do not have the all important self-assurance that we need. Some situations we find ourselves in with no experience of what is going on around us cause us to withdraw into the background in the hope that we can get through it with the least amount of discomfort to ourselves.
I have never been the most self confident person in the world but into my 48th year I have had situations arise where this has been almost shattered and find myself only now getting to grips with strategies and techniques to help begin to build it back up.
In order to help people with a lack of or loss in confidence, for whatever reason, I am sharing my story and strategy for getting it back.
Circumstances which led to loss of confidence.
When I look back on it there wasn't any one situation which led to my loss in confidence. It was more like a gradual decline which, like many other things that happen in our lives, just crept up on me and became embedded in my personality that it took a long time to recognise that it was or had actually happened.
Depression, I would say, was a major contributor and is again one of these conditions which changes the way we think and act, and is also a condition that creeps up on us very slowly. By the time we recognise it, it's too late the damage is done and the road to recovery is a long one
For those of you who are reading this having no experience of either depression / low self -esteem / feelings of low self worth or loss of confidence then read on because at some time in your life it will happen to at least 1 in 4 of you.
poshcoffeeco's top reasons for depression setting in are:-
Burn out from over work and not taking care of your physical self is one reason.
Working for extended periods without taking holidays.
Not recognising that there is a problem and leaving it too late to get help.
Low self esteem...don't let it happen to you.
Recognising lost confidence.
This sounds so easy, when in reality it is extremely difficult to recognise that you are losing or have lost your confidence. For me I only admitted to it at my lowest point on both episodes of long term depression. Both times I was only able to admit it to myself after I had sought medical advice and was a way down the road to recovery.
It has to be said that the first bout of depression was the worst for me because it debillitated me for almost seven months and I could not work because of it. The second occurrence and I managed to work through it but I had the added problem of panic attacks first thing in the morning, which after a while of taking medication actually subsided I am glad to say.
So how do you detect you have lost confidence?
- One of the first symptoms is feeling inadequate and mild paranoia.
- Feeling useless.
- Feeling like you are letting people down ( not realising this is an illnessif depressed).
- Believing that you are no good at certain tasks ( a job you have done for many years even).
- Letting criticism worry you.
- Worry about joining in group diccussions or being around large crowds of people.
There are potentially many more reasons and probably a different one for each person. The fact that you think you have lost confidence is a pretty good indicator to me that you have. The thing you then have to do is work on it.
Get confidence a become a winner.
How do you work on getting confidence back?
Ever fallen off a bicycle?...I would think that I don't even have to tell you what you need to do next. You guessed it get right back on the thing and start again.Believe it or not you can talk to yourself and begin to build your self confidence. It won't be easy and you will have to fight with yourself and your inner voice ( conscience) to bring about the result that you want.
Listen when you talk to yourself.
What to say when you talk to yourself.
This bit is easy. When you talk to yourself be positive. Say things like.... I will...not.... I might do this or that. In my case when depression and panic attacks were at their worst it was a matter of saying 'I am going out of that door' and not waiting around long enough for me to change my mind .What I am saying is once the decision is made....Do it! now. Don't wait for conditions to be perfect just take action and you will not look back. As I have said before it won't be easy but in time it will become much easier.
It's down to you.
As with everything in life, there is only you who can get the confidence back. Nobody else can do it for you unfortunately. Listening to other people and their experience does help though, if you choose to listen and put the advice into practice. What have you got to lose?
Do something out of your normal comfort zone that will take your mind off of your condition. For me it has been this......writing how to articles and even a bit of poetry although I am a newbie to it but I have had some good feedback from my Hub Page colleagues. This is a great confidence boost. To get praise from people you admire and respect is a great boost and is a tonic.
I would advise anyone interested in writing to join Hub Pages at http:hubpages.com. You will be surprised what it will do for you.You never know you may even make some money!
That's it again the end of another sermon.
Good luck in your quest to find whatever it is you are looking for.
poshcoffeeco ( Steve Mitchell )
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