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Confidence: How to Be Big and Beautiful at the Same Time

Updated on May 1, 2014

I once published a blog post titled "The Moment When I Became Sick of My Body". Thankfully, since that moment, my feelings toward myself have changed monumentally.

Over the past year or so, I've learned how to gain self confidence and I feel much better about myself these days, because I realize that even though I'm heavier than I've ever been, I'm also prettier than I've ever been. These days I enjoy walking down the street and turning heads, even at 235lbs. Of course at the same time I know that I'm not anywhere near healthy and that I'll feel far better about myself once I've found some weight loss motivation.

I may be 100+lbs overweight, but when people first see me, this is rarely the first thing they notice. I know this because when I walk into a room of people, most of the time several of them will turn to watch me walk in. While these people are looking at me they do not look disgusted; instead the look interested.

So why isn't my weight the first thing people notice? It's very simple. I want them to notice something else about me, so they do. At any given moment, I may want people to notice any number of things about the way I look. It could be anything from my hair to way I walk, and whatever I want them to see; they see.

When I'm walking down the street passing people by, I'm not concentrating on how fat I may or may not look. I'm concentrating on how I feel about what makes me look good; the things that help increase my self esteem. I bounce my hair, I stand up straight, and take sure, confident steps. If something goes wrong, like tripping over my own feet, I laugh it off, straighten back up and continue walking.

I NEVER avoid eye contact with the people around me. That would portray the exact opposite of confidence.

I wear clothes that fit properly, no matter what size I'm at. Big girls like me need to realize that baggy clothes just make us look bigger and send the message that we are ashamed of our bodies. On the other hand, clothes that are too tight outline every extra pound. Clothing that is fitted correctly should flatter, not hide or overexpose.

I keep a positive and realistic attitude about myself and I make a conscious effort to portray it to my best advantage. Some of my friends have thought in the past that these things I do happen without my thinking about them, but that's not true at all. I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm aware of every movement, gesture, and expression I make. I pay attention to myself and those around me so that I know what works and what doesn't. Once this behavior had become practiced, it became second nature, and I now find myself acting and thinking confidently far more naturally than ever before. Just like when following health tips, eventually it becomes second nature.

Of course, just like most others, there are times when I don't feel great about myself or the way I look, but only my closest friends and the readers of this article will ever know that. These feelings are natural and normal, and as long as I don't dwell on them, those around me need never notice. To most people I meet, I am a pretty, confident young woman.

When I think and act confident without acting arrogant, others pick up on it and usually accept it as fact. And I have to say, when I pass by a cute guy who smiles straight at me instead of the thin girl with a pretty face passing by him at the same time, it feels pretty damn good.

To sum up, here are a few things to do to make sure you are being your personal best:

Make eye-contact

  • Smile (usually, you'll get a smile back =)
  • Stand up straight, no slouching!
  • Always walk as if you know exactly where you're going, even when you don't
  • Wear clothes that fit properly
  • Decide what you like most about the way you look, and concentrate on it.

And most importantly, do something everyday that makes you feel happy and beautiful. Other people will wind up seeing that same beauty.


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    • profile image

      Nora Bella 

      6 years ago


      I really agree with you here, I am a british size 16 (which I believe is a 12 in the USA) and I feel comfortable with myself, I am beautiful and have always been so, but I have often felt really ugly. I refuse to give in to media, and the machine that is commercial ownership of my body - I wish I had more time to add comments here but am just off to work as a volunteer youth worker!!

    • profile image

      One Love 

      6 years ago

      I believe that confidence is what you feel inside. I am a plus sized girl and I love everything about me. I always keep a positive fram of mind and I know that my happiness is within.

    • sukhera143 profile image


      9 years ago from Home

      Good hub.

    • Ted Waggoner profile image

      Ted Waggoner 

      9 years ago

      I think all of us could us some of the tips that you have mentioned. If you can look in a mirror and smile because you confidence about yourself, that is great and YES do something every day that makes you feel good. Life is too short.

    • kelsorogers profile image


      9 years ago

      Eye contact and smile - you got it! Another good hub - thanks.

    • profile image

      Anne A. 

      9 years ago

      You're right...Attitude is everything! I like the idea of keeping your focus on the thing(s) you like most about the way you look.


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