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Conversation with Death in My Mother’s Final Hours

Updated on September 5, 2016
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor, helps grieving persons by sharing practical suggestions and by her personal expressions of grief.

Photoshop personification of Death by Incry
Photoshop personification of Death by Incry | Source

Eating less and less, my mother began to look like a live skeleton. It was difficult to watch her and still more difficult to bathe and dress her.

Her heart kept beating at a normal rate, but her bony rib cage heaving in and out made breathing seem like a chore which overtaxed her body. On the day she stopped responding, everything in me—my strength, my courage, my emotions collapsed.

My first cry was to God. “God, I do not want this. My mother doesn’t want this. Do something to change this situation.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Death whispered.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” I said that with all the rudeness I could muster, but no insults could push him away.

“I understand,” he seemed to say, “but I am one of God’s answers when human beings ask for loved ones to be spared the travesty of a lifeless life.”

For the next two hours, the three of us—Death, my mother and I shared the room. God was there too, inhabiting each of us, and assisting me in making peace with the intruder.


1. Death Provides Refuge

Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. - Isaiah 57:2

My mental capacity was inadequate for debate and rebuttal. Death reasoned with me about some positive issues which lessened my desire to struggle.

My mother had experienced 85 years of productive life. I had watched her mature from a shy, uncertain teenage mother to a mature, influential woman of faith. She had worked hard, leaving me sufficient to build on. Now that her brain power had deserted her and her physical stride had become too stressful for her body, rest seemed like a fitting reward.

“But don’t expect me to thank you,” I pouted.

“You’re welcome,” Death smiled.


2. Death Takes and Gives

He [God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. . . I am making everything new!” - Revelation 21: 4, 5

My mother's grave is near to the poinciana - our national flower.  That's precious. It helps us remember her love of flowers and her beautiful garden.
My mother's grave is near to the poinciana - our national flower. That's precious. It helps us remember her love of flowers and her beautiful garden. | Source

The emotional ties between my mother and me had been strengthened. Sitting on the bed close beside her to prop her up would be a lasting memory of how intertwined our lives had been when as her child I relied on her care; and when as my aged mother, she relied on mine. There was love even though we did not say the words.

“It isn’t fair to rob people of life and love!” I screamed at Death.

“The one you lose does not feel robbed,” he replied gently, “and when she leaves, you gain a greater sense of appreciation and gratitude.”


3. Death Is Limited

Neither death . . . nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God. Romans 8: 38, 39

"Death, you may claim the body, but that's all you can touch."

When my mother could no longer remember words, she hummed the tunes of songs she loved. What she hummed the most was that 1831 arrangement by Thomas Hastings for the song Come Ye Disconsolate written in 1816 by Thomas Moore. It contains the following lines, each one at the end of a stanza.

Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot heal.

Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot cure.

Earth has no sorrow but heav’n can remove.

Alzheimer’s could not take away her habits of prayer and singing, and death cannot take away the love between her and her God, or her legacy of faith.

“Death, you lose.”


4. Death Aids Self-Awareness

When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish. Psalm 146: 4

Insightful Quotes about Death

None of us, in our culture of comfort, know how to prepare ourselves for dying, but that's what we should do every day. - Joni Eareckson Tada

I don’t so much pray that my death will be without pain, but that it will be without doubt. – John Piper

If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death, since it comes from the hand of the same master. - Michelango

The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude. - Thornton Wilder

Love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again. - Max Lucado

It was difficult to watch Death reach for my mother without remembering that one day he would reach for me.

“Sooner or later?” I asked him, though not wanting an answer.

“What else do I want to finish between now and then?” I asked myself.

He intruded again. “Just a reminder that when I show up, it’s over. What is undone remains undone. My presence here today may be primarily to end your mother’s struggles, but if you pay attention, it can also remind you to focus on yours.

"You will leave owing the world a debt if you shirk the responsibilities to which you have been assigned."

My short bucket list popped up before me, and I felt Death looking over my shoulder with an undefined curiosity. I prayed that from that day onward, I would be careful to use my time wisely.


5. Death Promotes Fellowship

And many . . . had come . . . to comfort them in the loss of their brother. John 11:19

Death accommodates fellowship.
Death accommodates fellowship. | Source

“One of your redeeming factors, Death, is your influence in gathering family and friends who establish or renew connectedness.”

“True, and although folks do not give me credit, they appreciate the happy fellowship which lighten the sad moments.”

That would be especially true in my mother’s situation. Eight children of her late sister had already scheduled a reunion with daily activities for the week in which my mother would be buried. The reunion with extended family lifted our burden.

“Death you lose again; not only because of the earthly reunion, but also because we hope for a heavenly which will include my mother.”


Scripture quotations throughout this article are from the New International Version.

© 2016 Dora Isaac Weithers

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    • word55 profile image

      Word 11 months ago from Chicago

      Hi Dora, welcome back. Thank you for shading these thoughts of your wonderful mom's last days and hours. Thanks for being as strong and wise as you are. May God continue His blessings upon you!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 11 months ago from USA

      I am so sorry about the loss of your mother and the grief you are experiencing, sweet Dora. This was a loving tribute to letting go. It takes great strength. May she rest in peace. And may you recall the happy moments shared throughout the years.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 11 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      This is beautiful, Dora! You have done what many of us cannot, face death with courage and fortitude! Your experience will give many of us the strength to go on in our own situations. I visited my own father in the nursing home just a few weeks ago, and I found myself saying many of the things you have said here. Although he is still living, I know that there will come a day when I will, like you, have to give him over to the hands that come to save him from the pain and suffering of this world. When that happens, my own life will take on new meaning. I pray that you will you have peace in the midst of your grief!

    • glynch1 profile image

      glynch1 11 months ago

      What about contemplating the death of a mother whose existence in eternity is unsure? What about "fellowshipping" with family members who have likewise neglected your Savior and disbelieved the gospel?

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 11 months ago from Norfolk

      MsDora, my condolences to you and yours.

      Strange as it may seem you have been in my mind of late. I have missed your presence on HubPages and have been concerned for you.

      I was with my own mother when she passed on so this hub is a reminder to me of her life too, for which I thank you.

      I hope that the days ahead will be easier for you. You are in my thoughts at this very sad time.

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 11 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      I started weeping with the first sentence and all the way through this. My how profoundly beautiful and poignant. This reminded me of three dear dear people I cared for in their last years, days, and moments. Then my own mother who was taken unexpectedly.

      I am deeply sorry for your loss. Our mama's are a part of us. When my mom died I felt like I lost an arm and a piece of my heart. Your mother's faith and character shine in you and you have blessed all of us so richly in your writings.

      I found your conversation with death so painful yet precious. As I read your hub I thought of Psalm 116:5, Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants. And Psalm 16:11 In your presence is fullness of joy, at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

      I am praying you find solace from the Comforter as you grieve your mother's passing. Sending hugs.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, Word. I may seem stronger than I really am, but I'm improving. Thanks for your encouragement.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Flourish. I appreciate your kind sentiments.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Denise, thanks for your feedback. I probably could not write this the day after. This is written from hindsight when the fog has begun to clear. Best to you and your father, going forward.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Glynch, what about those situations? I believe that my readers, like myself, would appreciate you sharing your perspective, so please feel free to do so.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Sally. You may have guessed that it was my mother's situation: her two-week hospitalization and the following deterioration in her condition that kept me away from HP. Then came Death. It means so much to me that you thought about me.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Lori, thanks for those comforting verses you shared, also for the prayers and the hugs. I appreciate you.

    • glynch1 profile image

      glynch1 11 months ago

      When my mother passes away (she's 89), and if she still does not know the Lord in salvation, that will indeed be a day of deep grief for me. My father died over four years ago, and as far as I know, he did not know the Lord either. Both very religious all their lives, they nevertheless did not show the instincts of the true believer. My siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles also do not know the Lord as their Savior. They cannot share in the same kind of grief that I will feel on that day.

      Still, I commend you for writing a nice message of comfort to those whose parents know Christ as Savior.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 11 months ago from Olympia, WA

      This is really a very beautiful sharing, Dora. I offer my sympathies, as I understand very well your emotions, but I am also happy for your mother. I have to believe she is smiling today.

      blessings always

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Glynch, thanks for elaborating. Now I understand (still slow at processing). Yes, we do need to pay attention to our unbelieving relatives. Life is all about preparation for the heavenly reunion, and it would be selfish of us not to be intentionally be concerned about their salvation. Reminders like yours are relevant and timely. I appreciate you.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Bill. Yes, my mother is better off. I have to believe that.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 11 months ago from United States

      If all of us could accept death as you have just shown, I believe that we all would be comforted and more realize our humanity. Thank you for sharing in this my friend. whonu

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 11 months ago from Northern California, USA

      I am so sorry to hear of your mother passing. Your tribute is absolutely beautiful. I hope I don't sound heartless if I say thank you for sharing your experience, as a dear friend of mine passed away a few days ago and your words are very comforting. I pray that the Lord keeps you strong in knowing your mother is with Him right now as it shall be the same with all of us who love Him dearly.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Whonu, your point of acceptance is very true. It is useless to get bitter, and become miserable. Thanks for your feedback.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Marlene, I understand and accept your sentiments. Thanks for your prayer.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Please accept my deepest condolences MsDora. It is always a difficult time to accept our loved one's passing even if it is God's will. I clearly remember my mother and father's passing. They both had full faculties right until the end and that made it all the more difficult to deal with. At least I could say goodbye, but I am still saddened by the memories. This is a lovely tribute and it was good to have family around to share the burden and support each other I am sure.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 11 months ago from New Delhi, India

      I am so sorry to learn about your loss. May your mother Rest in Peace!

      It needs so much courage to write this tribute about the final moments spent with your respected mother.

      I might say that I am a strong woman ready to face any challenge but losing someone you love the most and that too your parents makes me feel scared.

      I am sure many will draw strength from this beautifully written hub of yours.

      I agree with your last paragraph that death sometimes unites close relations like nothing else can.

      And as you say we must make the best use of the time available to us.

      Thanks for sharing and God bless you and your family!

    • Pamela-Mary profile image

      Pamela Mary 11 months ago from Leesburg, Virgina 20175, USA

      Hello, @MsDora when I read your memoires article that's time I am I thinking human life diversity as a your mother matter, I think she should be pass good time, just don’t forget prayer to god for your mother life.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 11 months ago from Dallas, Texas

      Beautifully written, MsDora. Remembering lost loved ones in this way is truly comforting. I understand the depth of your feelings on this, and that our faith is meant to carry us through this time of loss.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 11 months ago from sunny Florida

      O Ms. Dora...how blessed you were to be with her in the final days and hours...and how blessed you are to have a Momma that you loved so and that no doubt left a lasting impact on your life.

      Your observations about death are spot on. The

      'using time wisely' is one we strive to do each and every day....one day at a time sweet Jesus.

      Well done sharing

      Angels are once again on the way to you ps

    • bapak83 profile image

      Christopher Watson 11 months ago from Ohio

      It is difficult to accept death in this society because it is unfamiliar. In spite of the fact that it happens all the time, we never see it. Saying Goodbye to a Loved One!!!

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Jodah, I wish my mother was conscious enough to say good-bye. You're blessed to have that opportunity with your parents. Thank you for your kind sentiments.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Chitrangada, the expereince certainly made me weak, but family support helped. Thanks for your understanding and expressions of compassion.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Pamela-Mary. I do have many reasons to thank God for my mother's life. So sweet of you to remind me of that.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Patricia, thanks for your kind thoughts. I wouldn't have it any other way than being with my mother in her final days. I agree with you: it is a blessing.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Well said, Bapak. We seem never to come to terms with Death, but we are all better of anticipating and accepting it.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 11 months ago from East Coast, United States

      Dear MsDora, I am sorry for your loss. We can firmly believe in God and Heaven, we can visualize a beautiful angel coming to fetch our darlings

      and we can celebrate a life well lived but that don't make it easy. I hope that your sadness is filled with tenderness and that you remember your mother will always be with you because love never dies.

    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 11 months ago from Brazil

      I am sorry for your loss.

      I wasn't able to be with my mother when she passed but my sisters and their children were. I took comfort in knowing many were there to show her the love and compassion which she had given to us, all those years.

      The quote you have by Thornton Wilder, "The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." is perfect. I think losing someone would be less painful if we celebrated their lives instead of grieving their passing.

      This was a beautiful and unique way to share your thoughts during a difficult time.

    • CYong74 profile image

      Cedric Yong 11 months ago from Singapore

      Thanks for sharing this personal and moving episode of your life. May your mum rest eternally in the Lord's comfort.

    • Kiss andTales profile image

      Kiss andTales 11 months ago

      As I read your hub I am so overwhelmed of your courage , your strength , and you are actually being strong for many who are going through the same experience but are not able to express the pain as you have.

      I expected no less from you ! How wonderful it is to give of youself even when in pain from your heart.

      That is what Jesus did, he gave and keeps giving , that is love !

      I try my best to totally rely on our Father's words and Jesus because they can relate to death as an enemy.

      Example Did the Heavenly Father lose a precious life in death ? Yes his Son who died for us. JESUS

      Before that he was always there beside him in everything, a Prince or first born Angel.

      Did Jesus lose someone in death ! Yes he lost many faithful humans he knew as and Angel.

      But the Bible Records show him weeping when Lazerus died. Even though he held the key to release him from death sleep.

      Joh 11:35 Jesus gave way to tears.

      Jesus with His Father Jehovah can undo death and return our loves back.

      1Co 15:26 And the last enemy, death, is to be brought to nothing.

      It was not meant for humans to die !

      But Adam and Eve and Satan created the concoction when they severed the life line from the Heavenly Father.

      When they did this it was like they lived on their on auto pilot. Until they bodies gave out on its own power not God's

      So they bodies auto pilot into death forever.

      So all humans are marked to die because of them genetically.

      So right there in the garden The Heavenly Father worked a cure for us as innocent bystanders.

      But it would take generations for his cure to appear and be administered.

      The cure arrived.

      But for us to benifit from it we must be educated according to accurate knowledge

      not imitations of truth but ginuine.

      We must also follow Jesus very close in his steps he shows us how.

      And his cure would cover not just one century of humans but many generations of humans. We are now the 21 century

      Soon the close of the number allowed will finally end.

      Then Jesus will be running earths affairs on a cleaned earth free from opposers.

      Then we will be building homes for those asleep in death as they return as written.

      Isa 65:22 They will not build for someone else to inhabit, Nor will they plant for others to eat. For the days of my people will be like the days of a tree, And the work of their hands my chosen ones will enjoy to the full.

      Isa 33:24 And no resident will say: “I am sick.” The people dwelling in the land will be pardoned for their error.

      I share these exciting future times to come with you.

      May Jehovah keep you close Ms Dora !

      Thank you !

    • Robert Levine profile image

      Robert Levine 11 months ago from Brookline, Massachusetts

      Hi Dora, very well done. I particularly like the sidebar of quotes about death. By and large, I find secular society seems incapable of dealing with death.

    • NatashaL profile image

      Natasha 11 months ago from USA

      Dear Ms. Dora,

      Thank you for this. My own mother died of cancer about two years ago. She knew it, and she was ready for it...but it was still hard for us to see the cancer take her away from us. One of the last things she was able to say to me was, "Am I going to heaven?" That led to a discussion of John 10 and the story of the good shepherd who knows all his sheep. She never worried about that again.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 11 months ago from Shelton

      Ms Dora, its the truth when I say my heart melts, sensitive and humble hub.. it offers a Godly sense of life's and death's priorities... My condolences.. and may God be with you as always during your missing days..

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 11 months ago

      My dear Ms. Dora, I first want to express my sympathy over the loss of such a wonderful mother. Secondly, you have written what we must all remember when we face these moments. It is not an ending but a beginning. Live your life to the fullest each day, as God intended. Thank you for sharing from your personal window of life.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 11 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Oh, Dora. Your mother fought such a good fight, and you were right there with her the whole time. what a blessing! Fellowship? Reunions? There's an even bigger one coming - When the role is called up yonder! Bless you, dear sister!

    • techygran profile image

      Cynthia 11 months ago from Vancouver Island, Canada

      Dear Ms. Dora, I am sorry for your loss. Your ability to convey this conversation with Death in such a lucid way, touching all of us, in the pain of the recent event itself, is a tribute to your giftedness (i.e, writing/communication, compassion, faith,wisdom) and more important, a tribute to the Giver of the Gifts. May you be comforted and know Peace every day during this time of mourning. I'm sharing your hub because I know there are many out there who will be blessed by reading it. Thank you. ~Cynthia

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Dolores, I appreciate your kind thoughts. Yes, I will cherish the memories.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Mary. I have proven that nothing helps grief like gratitude. Thanksgiving lessens the sense of loss.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Cedric. Sharing this way also helps me sort out my feelings and helps me focus on what are the really important things about this situation.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Kiss and Tales, thanks for the kind words and also for your insight on death, the new earth and in between. I appreciate you.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Robert, thanks for your encouragement. Death is difficult to deal with, because we just hate him. I doubt whether that will change, but we must help each other accept his purpose.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Natasha, thanks for sharing your mother's experience. It is really a joy to know that a loved one dies ready. May we all.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Frank, you're always so genuine. Thanks for being so kind and thoughtful.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Teaches, thanks for your words of comfort. True that on many levels, "It is not an ending but a beginning."

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Pastor Bill, thanks for the reminder. Really, nothing matters more than being there to answer when the roll is called up yonder. Yes, I fell blessed to have been at my mother's side through her final ordeal. Blessings on you as well.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Cynthia, I appreciate your expressions of comfort and encouragement. Happy if my story helps others to accept and endure the pain of watching our loved ones leave.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Peg Cole, I unintentionally missed responding to your comment. Thanks for the compliment and for the emphasis on personal faith during our time of bereavement. Very encouraging!

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      Laura Smith 11 months ago from Pittsburgh, PA

      This is a great perspective on a very universal topic. I know what it's like to be in a room when someone is taking their last breaths, and the concept alone is hard to wrap your head around, but it helps knowing that it's something that we all go through and experience in our lives. I think this is going to help a lot of people come to terms with that experience.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Laura. Really glad if it helps. God know how devastating the experience can be.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 11 months ago from The Beautiful South

      Dear friend, my mother has been gone six years now and there is still hardly a day I don't think of her and wish she were here but I know you have all the biblical truths to get you through and that make you strong. Still we will always be our mommies little girls and that is something we never want to give up no matter how it makes our heart feel. You like me I know will wish many things you wished you had done or still could do and even with all you gave her it will never feel like it was enough...but I guess that is just love our Father instilled in us.

      God bless you and may you be rested and happy your mom is where she wanted to eventually be. May you hear her humming in the breezes and know she will always love you and appreciate all you did for her.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Jackie, I like all your expressions here, but your very last sentence makes me close my eyes and imagine an embrace with my mother. Thank you.

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 11 months ago from United States

      I am sorry for your loss, MsDora. It really is a blessing and a wonder at how death brings those who are left behind together. Going home for my father's funeral, I was amazed to see a line of mourners who had come to pay their last respects streaming out of the funeral home, around the corner and down the street. It was as if he'd had a secret life of influence I had known nothing about. It sounds as if even in death, your mother's life is still exercising a powerful love over those left behind.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Dirt Farmer, thanks for sharing your experience in losing your father. I smiled at the phrase "secret life of influence." I couldn't have said it better. It also reminds us to pay attention to our own influence--perhaps secret now, but surfacing later. I appreciate your comment.

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      Faith Reaper 11 months ago from southern USA

      Oh, Dear MsDora,

      I'm so sorry for your great loss of such a precious Mother. This is such a beautiful tribute to her and your conversation with Death is eye-opening. I understand how much you are missing your dear Mother, for my Mother went on to be with the Lord God in December of 2012, and I am mindful just how blessed I was in this life to have such a loving and strong Mother, just as you are to have the Mother you have had in this life.

      Thank you for sharing how your Mother still had her strong faith and loved to hum the hymns. That is comforting to you, I know.

      I know our Mothers will forever live on in our hearts and those of many others too.

      I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this time of loss.

      God bless you

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Faith. I appreciate your understanding, your compassion and your prayers. May God bless you, also.

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      jgshorebird 11 months ago from Southeastern U.S.

      As always, your hubs are about what really "matters." Thank you for writing it and the way you wrote it.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      JG, you're so kind. I appreciate you.

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      Rajan Singh Jolly 10 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Death always is a reminder to us that each one of us is in a queue and not only must we not forget this but live life as the Scriptures define it for us for everlasting peace.

      Sorry to learn about your loss. A mother's loss is the most felt.

      The Scripture references are so profoundly true and numb the loss to a great extent.

    • MsDora profile image
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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Rajan. You give great advice concerning what our attitude toward death should be. Being in the queue should not be difficult to remember.

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      Linda Crampton 10 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I am so very sorry for your loss, MsDora. My thoughts are with you. You have shared a beautiful and inspirational hub.

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 10 months ago

      Dear Ms. Dora, I want to wrap you up in a big warm hug today. I am so very sorry to hear that your mother has passed. Everyone at HP who has had the joy of getting to know you probably already suspected that she was a remarkable mother and a very good person who will be missed from this world.

      As one who sat where you sat with my own mother I so empathize. In fact, your hub moved me to tears even as it astounded me with your insight. Having both a deep faith and true understanding of death and the grieving process can only help you now. I hope your journey through your grief can be as much a celebration of your mother's long life and your rich relationship together as it is an adjustment to her loss in your life.

      If my words fall short (and they always do,) I'll trust God to convey to you every possible solace. Know that you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

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      Lawal Abiodun 10 months ago from Houston, Texas.

      Some unfortunate things might never be avoided, but our reaction towards it, is what defines its impact on us. You've indeed extracted good out of evil, light out of darkness, and life out of death. You've gleamed & beamed in a dim and damned world.

      The devil tried to remind you of the present state, but you have seen it wise to remind him of the future we have in Christ Jesus (eternal life).

      I Love you Ms. Dora (with the love of Christ), because you've always been an epitome of light, even in this caliginous world.

      Thank you Ms. Dora.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Alicia. I think writing helps. appreciate your kindness.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Besarien, I feel comforted by your comment, and I appreciate your prayers. God's blessings on you, too.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Pacesetter, your gracious comment is like a bridge over troubles waters. Thanks you from the depths of my heart.

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      Devika Primić 10 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MsDora you are a strong and courageous woman to have shared your experience here. Acceptance is great and you have showed me that. I felt your grief and makes me wonder about such experiences.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, thanks for your feedback. I appreciate your kind words.

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      Audrey Howitt 10 months ago from California

      Thank you so much for sharing this deep and very personal story with us--Your heart is profoundly at peace, even in your grief

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Audrey, thanks for reading and offering such a kind comment.

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      Shannon 10 months ago from Texas

      MsDora,

      First, I want to offer my sincere condolences. I've been learning quite a bit about Alzheimer's and some of it has been from you and your hubs. I think I can understand the mixed feelings caregivers have. Dementia is such an awful thing. I remember when my grandma just stopped eating and being glad I wasn't there to witness the frailty, but also sad at the same time.

      Second, I love the way you present things. You are such talented lady. And I am glad that you include the part about Alzheimer's not being able to steal her faith and prayers. How awful it would be to build such a strong faith only for a horrendous disease to be able to take even God away.

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      Shyron E Shenko 10 months ago from Texas

      MsDora, I am so sorry for you loss.

      A sad loss for those left behind.

      Sadder still because the one you lost was so kind

      But think how much kinder he Heaven will be

      With you mother there

      To wait to welcome you

      And all of us her kindness we will share

      *

      Blessings MsDora.

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      Shauna L Bowling 10 months ago from Central Florida

      Dora, I'm so sorry you lost your mother. At the same time I'm happy she's no longer bound by the mind and body that betrayed her inner self. She's free now.

      Thank you for sharing this letter with us. Even in grief, you impart wisdom.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Shanmarie for your kind words and encouragement. True, Alzheimer's is brutally destructive but it has limits.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Shyron, I appreciate your thoughtful comment. Thanks for the reminder that God's plan always prove His concern for our benefit.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Shauna, Amen to your expressions and thanks for your encouragement.

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      Deb Hirt 10 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      In this small world of ours we all are connected. With your loss, comes my loss.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 10 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Deb. I appreciate the caring sentiment. God bless you!

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      Chris Mills 9 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Thanks for this hub, MsDora. But any way we paint or write it, death is tough on everyone. I knew for 8 years that death would come for my wife, but was I ready that night? No way. You have shown some of the positives, if they can be called that. In time, we can see the good too. But it takes time. At least it did for me.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Chris, thanks for your comment. I'm sorry for your loss, and happy that you are able to take it in stride. I know what you mean about not being ready. Even though I saw death in the room, it was still difficult to accept the end. Please dwell on the happier memories, going forward!

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      DREAM ON 9 months ago

      As I read your moving hub about your mothers passing my throat closed and eyes became unable to read. I stopped many times thinking how wonderful you captured the most beautiful words to share your hardest and saddest moments. All I want to do is take the pain away. I don't know how. What I do know is through it all I feel enormous love and that love continues to grow in every direction possible. Love does not end with the physical passing of a loved one. It only grows deeper in a way it never could in the physical world. Think and talk of your mom often and with that your moms memories her beautiful life will flourish. When you feel blue look back at this hub not in sadness but in kindness and beauty of all the hubbers who you and your mom connected with. My own mom will have passed four years this Novevember. I am still dealing with many emotions. I feel relief and peacefulness in your words. You have helped me heal in my own grief. I often think what would my mom do. Then I think of her smiling face and even if I don't have the answer. I feel comfort and love. Thank you for finding the strength and power to write this touching hub. Wishing you many more happy days ahead. Where you can embrace all your mothers love.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Dream, thank you for sharing about your mom--the love and comfort you experience when thinking of her. It's been almost four years, but please accept my sympathy. Our mothers have left indelible footprints on our lives, and we are blessed to have such sweet memories. Best to you!

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      Martie Coetser 9 months ago from South Africa

      Dear MsDora, this is an extremely insightful conversation you have had with Death. Why, we always learn so much about life and death while we experience tremendous emotional pain. Thank you for sharing your insight. May you be blessed with strength and peace while missing your dearest mother for the rest of your life. As you've said, Death only took her body away. The rest of her is in your heart and mind until you meet again.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Martie, thanks for your comforting comment. I appreciate your kind sentiments.

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      Dan Harmon 9 months ago from Boise, Idaho

      A moving hub, MsDora, and one that brings back memories. I, my 4 siblings and my mother brought my father home from the hospital some 15 years ago, a last ride for our truck driver as he had been given only a week or so to live and made the choice to die at home, among his family.

      It was not to be: death came knocking that very night, only hours after we got Dad home and I...I spent the rest of the night walking the dark streets of my childhood neighborhood and talking to Death. I got the same message you did, with an emphasis on the fact that Death can, and often does, provide refuge. Dad gave up but days of life for a last night in his own home, with his children and wife around him and at peace with the world. He used his time wisely and left behind his deteriorating and pain filled body.

      For the rest of us there was grief, yes, but we all recognized that refuge and have never been sorry that we were able to help Dad meet Death on his own terms. I also think we all talked with Death that night, in our own way.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Dan, thank you for sharing your experience concerning the death of your Dad. It is touching that he made the decision to die at home; death of a loved one is a family affair. After 15 years, your compassion for him still shines through and please know that I find your sharing very comforting. May we continue to find peace in the memories our loved ones left with us.

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      Arline frederick 9 months ago

      Speechless...................

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Arline, and you should expect me to smile at you being speechless. Love, always!

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      Barry 8 months ago

      Death really shouldn't frighten us. I like that you portray him as a loser. Late, but please accept my condolences.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 8 months ago from The Caribbean

      Barry, thank you for your encouragement and your condolences. I appreciate you.

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 7 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I know it has been months since your mother went to heaven. I know you are still feeling the pain and loss. My mother passed away in 1968, but she still lives in my heart. I know we both will be with them again when our time is up to leave our earthly home. This was so beautiful! When death lingers we want to scream, " No go away " My mother, like your's was in so much pain. I now know it was a blessing..

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 7 months ago from The Caribbean

      Ruby, thanks for your sympathy concerning my loss. Yes, I miss my mother and look forward to the resurrection when we will meet our mothers again. Till then, let's be faithful and hopeful. I appreciate you!

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      Mo 7 months ago

      Sorry for such a major loss. May God help you keep this positive perspective always. The quotes on death are worth remembering.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 7 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Mo. These quotes are among my favorite and they help keep me stay focused.

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      Yvonne Teo 6 months ago from Singapore

      #hugs Ms Dora. The quotes from (4) Death aids self awareness totally gripped me. As I have only lost my mother-in-law to cancer recently, articles like these strangely comforts me and makes me want to leave a beautiful goodbye for my loved ones as far as I can... when the eventual comes. As a mom, I can only add that your mom's love will always be with you and she is very blessed to have you care for her in that final journey.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 6 months ago from The Caribbean

      Yvonne, thanks for your kind comment. It makes me happy that you find some comfort in the article. Ever so often, the thought of death crosses our minds and your focus should be everybody's - "to leave a beautiful goodbye for . . . loved ones."

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      Char Milbrett 4 months ago from Minnesota

      Tears! I loved this! I held my father's hand until he passed. In the last moments,I decided to tell him that I loved him, that I was glad to have had the chance to be with him every day, for the few months he had left, that I'd miss him, but he'd be okay where he was going, and not to worry about me, I'd be fine, and we'd meet up later... I didn't know if he'd hear me, but when I was done speaking, two tears ran out of his right eye and ended up in a small pool in his right ear. -- He did hear me, and I treasure the memory.

      Death, to me, is like what a fetus must go through minutes before being born. That passage through a tunnel with a light at the end. Sorry for your loss, and thank you for this well written piece.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 4 months ago from The Caribbean

      Char, thanks you for sharing your experience. Please accept my sympathy also on the loss of your father. Whatever Death is or does, we must take comfort in that it cannot rob us of the love we shared with our loved ones.

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      DREAM ON 4 months ago

      I want you to know I go back and read this hub often.I think what would my mother and I be doing right now. I think sitting and having breakfast and reading your hub together. My mother could talk for hours about her love for her family. I would listen intently trying to memorize every word

      She would give me a look.I know when I am gone you will forget what we talked about.Maybe so but I tried to remember all your love and the fun that we shared.I miss you mom. Thank you for all your love. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.Have a fantastic day.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 4 months ago from The Caribbean

      Dream, thanks for returning and sharing. Your visit not only helps keep your memories alive, but mine also. Deep inside the hole human race, we relate to each other in loss and in comfort. Thank you.

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      Ann Carr 4 months ago from SW England

      This is stupendous, Dora, and remarkable. I love the conversations with Death. It reminds a great deal of my mother's death-bed, when I sat with her, listening to that awful rattle, trying to make sense of it, trying to think of things to say to ease her burden. My head pounded and I was lost but your thoughts here are remarkably similar to my own.

      Your conversation is such an imaginative one, such a 'proper' one, such an illuminating one. For that I thank you. It has eased my heart too.

      This also reminds me of 'The Book Thief', where Death is the narrator (I did a hub review about it). There is humour there but there is discussion too, very much like this.

      Well done, Dora! One of your best for sure.

      With love,

      Ann

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 4 months ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, Ann. I shall try to find your book review. Humans have so many experiences in common and they help us understand and empathize with each other.

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