Coping with the Demons inside your Head
The road to recovery
Rock bottom! There is nothing like it.
When you are deep in the pit of despair and nothing can pull you out of it, don’t worry! From experience, I have learnt that repetition is the Mother of Learning. So, when you are there at rock bottom, lie down, close your eyes and repeat the following words over and over again: I hate my life! I hate my life! I hate my life! I hate my life! Don’t get up. Continue lying down and dwell on the very thought that you hate your life. As negative as this may seem, this is the beginning of the journey on the road to recovery. Recovery simply means getting out of the dark pit, fighting the demons inside your head and cleaving to the inner hope that you instinctively have.
Your brain has been programmed
The most amazing thing about human life is that your brain has been programmed with three incredible truths:
- Your mind does not acknowledge age. Even at 50, your mind will feel young.
- Your mind was not created to acknowledge death. Even though you age, your minds does not comprehend death and therefore inherently you do not accept that you will eventually die.
- Your mind repels negativity. Repeating negative words mentally empowers your mind to employ survival strategies.
Absolute anger or absolute fear
I believe there are only two things that can trigger a person to commit suicide: absolute anger or absolute fear, but not both. Other than these two emotions, no matter how depressed you become, you will not harm yourself.
Anger is a very dangerous emotion. Anger retaliates in spitefulness. You may become so angry that you want to spite the world and your actions are proof of this. While you cannot plan your emotions, you can learn to control them. In life you will always be confronted with situations that seem unmanageable and your reactions to these situations are impulsive.
There are different types of anger. Different emotions trigger the types of anger. Short outbursts of frustration or anger are good. No-one wants to bottle up their anger. This will only feed negativity. A fit of rage is more extreme. You will find yourself shouting whilst physically breaking, punching or kicking things. Violent reactions like these are coping mechanisms, but very damaging. The damage not only affects your health, but your relationships with other people.
The most dangerous anger is suppressed anger. Over time it poisons you completely: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When you don’t allow yourself to vent your anger, express your frustration, you become a living time bomb. When anger is a resident emotion, it feeds depression and anxiety. Eventually it will lead to self-destructive thoughts and deeds.
The most important thing to remember about anger is that it is an emotion and it can be controlled, which is easier said than done. There are three words that you may need to reflect on to understand how you can control anger: forgiveness, gratitude and compassion.
Like anger, fear is a demon within you that you need to control. Fear is the opposite of faith. The truth is that when you fear, you have very little or no faith. Fear feeds anxiety and anxiety kills.
When you have low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in life, you live a life where you do not trust yourself. When you don’t trust yourself, you end up trusting no-one. You wear a mask every day as a coping mechanism so that no-one will see your insecurities and imperfections. Negative thoughts linger in your mind and you become afraid. You look for a safehold, a place where you feel comfortable. This doesn’t have to be a literal place. It may be figurative, like intoxication of alcohol. You end up fearing the world outside and yearning to be in your safehold all the time.
There are many different things that you may fear, like the fear of being alone, the fear of imperfection, the fear of aging and the fear of death. It is important that you work towards overcoming these fears. Before you can do this, you need to get to know yourself; strengthen your strengths, and acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. Once you start focusing on your strengths, you will build your self-confidence. When you feel better about yourself, you will learn to push fear aside. Again this is easier said than done. Practice eventually makes perfect.
It’s natural that you will always become angry and you will always fear. This is not something to worry about. You cannot stop experiencing these emotions, but you can control the degree to which you become angry or afraid. You need to recognise the emotion and take control of it.
Your mind is full of thoughts and mental stories. No-one perceives your thoughts and mental stories the way you do. Only you have the power to change these stories. Only you can control your emotions!