Coping...An Everyday Learning Experience...
Coping…My Personal Experience
By Monica Ortega
I’m just chose the word because this is what I deal with in reality on a day to day basis just as everyone else does. Coping is not easy especially when we face different challenges everyday…so let me see, I will give a definition of what I feel the word cope means, let’s see how about an individual being able to function or deal with a present or prolonging problem or situation successfully.
Although, I don’t always believe this to always be true because nobody is perfect. Everybody responds to situations differently. Coping is a behavior mechanism that we are all born with and we will also learn how to enhance this coping skill to our own benefit hopefully for the better.
You know what coping is a very hard thing to do especially if you have no type of outlets to revert your inner energy. In order to occupy and maintain a healthy level of beneficial coping behavior for yourself and those who are around you, coping comes with experience and discipline.
From personal experience having no outlets can be a total disaster leading to a downhill spiral of events. Believe me this is not a very fun adventure of learning how to build coping skills but if you are as hard headed as I am then maybe this is the only way you learn, unfortunately.
I wish I could say that I learn things the first time or you know when someone advises you and says I wouldn’t do that if I were you, and you do it anyway just to see what will happen, even though you know what will happen?? Hello!! Then I’m sitting there like a dummy trying to ‘cope’ with the trauma that I just knew was going to happen just didn’t know how bad it was going to hurt. Right, Right?
Well what about our yesterdays, our past the things that made us who we are today, things like past: Monica is who she is today, mentally ill because in the past she was expected to cope with verbal, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. Way too much to ask of a child, way too much to ask of anybody, now she is being asked to cope with everyday life and expected to pick up the pieces of the past and to heal the hurting that so often haunts her.
So many of you can say come on dude the past is the past get over it…it is over move on. If it were that easy I would have done so many years ago but it is not that easy. People really do develop chemical imbalances, real mental illnesses that really, excuse my language _ _ _ _ them up! Not to mention that I was exposed to illegal drugs in the womb and outside the womb growing up and alcohol intentionally being put into my food what kind of other harm do you think that might have had also on my brain.
I am personally surprised I even have a brain left! Okay now I need to think about where I was going with this?? Coping…For the life of me I can’t cope! It is the hardest thing for me to do! I fail, and I fail, and I fail again time, and time, and time again, and it is the most frustrating thing for me. I mean I’m learning but on a scale of one - to - ten in thirty years I’m a two in my coping skills. Hey, I have worked damn hard to get to that two and it doesn’t mean it’s going to take me another thirty years to get me to a four, ha, ha, ha…it just means I am becoming more aware of who I am and how I work and how I can bypass certain situations before they become a potential problem, yes? Yes.
“It is hard to cope with unaware situations in life as we don’t always know what comes our way but many times we are given signs as that of a highway if you will; signals, crossroads, bumps in the roads, hazards that can lift a brow or two and only stop moving until you’re sure what to do”
By Monica Ortega