Crossover Chapters 5 and 6
What is your self-help need?
Trauma Line - How to Stay Alive When You Don’t Feel Like It.
Excerpts from Chapter 6. The Healing Road – In Closing
The Healing Road is a punch list of thoughts, concepts and truths to put into action, so you can step back from the Trauma Line and Stay Alive When You Don’t Feel Like It.
“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” (Ps 147:3)
It’s not your station in life that matters. It’s how you handle being stripped naked of all purpose and motivation for living. Find a new purpose, hold onto it and work it out every day.
“5 Things We Cannot Change” by David Ricchio
Everything changes and ends. Life is not fair. Things don’t always go according to plans.
Pain is part of life. People are not always loving and loyal all the time.
I learned this in Sage View. Make a list of what you have control over and a list of what you don’t have control over. Get help writing your lists if you need to. Only work on the list you have control of and leave the rest for a later date. On your list of having control over, put them in order of importance and tackle them one item at a time.
Who is in your support system? Family, friends, church, group therapy, therapist? Be in contact with one person from your support group every day. Life is a team sport; let your team help you succeed. When you are stronger, help someone else along the way.
Back to your control list. What area of your life is at the top of what you have control over? Put that area into rebuilding mode and everyday work on it a little bit. This way your life stays manageable and you stay safe.
The Trust Effect
Trust Him (God) even when it feels as though you’re going in the wrong direction.
God’s plan is always better. At the right time God will get you to where you are supposed to be. It may not be where you thought, but God is going to take you further than you ever imagined.
You are anointed to handle trouble. Quit telling yourself you can’t handle this; it’s too much. You are anointed for that difficulty.
It’s easy to feel alone and forgotten as though you don’t matter. But don’t believe those lies. In the story of the donkey and well, the donkey was thrown into the well and dirt was tossed on top of it. The donkey could have just let burdens of life bury it and lie in the in well. But the donkey decided to use the dirt as it’s escape. So, step by step the donkey would lift its feet and pack the dirt (burdens of life) under its feet and eventually walk out of the well. There is going to be a lifting out of the pit. Things will happen for you that you couldn’t make happen for yourself. Just take the steps.
Timing is Everything
Read this as if God is saying this to you. My plan, my time, your life. Timing is everything. Like in making wine, building a house, preparing a team for its game, time is required. You require time to heal. Take advantage of every day to heal.
James 1:4 says, “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” As you persevere in your healing, you win.
Yes, I feel disapproved of, but that is temporary and it’s not a truth. Yes, life is a bit hard right now, but my life also has good friends in it. I may have blown it in the past, but I can still have success with it in the future. Today may seem hard, but God is still working in my life. Even though I feel disapproved of, I shall overcome through Christ Jesus.
Accept Love for Yourself
1 Cor. 13:7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love puts up with everything. It is always eager to believe the best and to “put the most favorable construction on ambiguous actions. It does not allow itself to become overwhelmed but perseveres steadfastly through difficult trials.
Persevere – Yours in Life Success
Recovery Point Chapter 1 The Iceberg Effect -
What Drives Your Addiction?
The Iceberg Effect –
At a therapy appointment I use a white board and the illustration of an Iceberg to map out my feeling and what how I see myself.
My porn addiction was at the top of the iceberg. The question to myself was, what is driving the porn from underneath? To get the answer I had been asking the Holy Spirit to show me the source of my sexual behavior. And He did.
At the bottom of the iceberg I wrote out Fantasies or Storyline. For me Fantasies are much stronger than the porn itself and could be played over and over, again like a tape looping. The more the tapes played the stronger sexual behavior became.
I thought this was the bottom of the iceberg. It wasn’t. So, I kept asking the Holy Spirit is there more and there was. Underneath the fantasies is disappointment and shame (the bedrock of the iceberg I thought).
Now get in the elevator with me and take a trip to the depths far below. We arrive at the beginning, when I was born and my mom’s disappointment that I was not born a girl. She even had a girl’s name picked. This acceptance of disappointment brings up the word - worthlessness. This is how I have felt about myself all my life – worthless.
The Iceberg Flips Over –
In great cocktails there is always one key ingredient that makes the cocktail perfect. Take one part being ashamed of my failures, one part disappointment for who I was, one part worthlessness as a human life (these combine to make strong emotional pain) and mix in a heavy dose of chronic physical pain and what do you get – the perfect suicide cocktail.
When an iceberg flips over, it creates a far-reaching energy waves in the water. Until that energy dissipates, everything in its path is affected negatively. The point is there is time and place when too much trauma becomes a liability to the soul. At that point suicide becomes a very real option.
When you find out what is at the bottom of your iceberg, don’t give up. The word say’s
“No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.”
Whether the battle is porn, alcohol, drugs, gambling or overeating, He provides a way of escape with every temptation that He allows to touch us. If we deliberately put ourselves in the way of temptation and so put God to the test, we are not taking advantage of the way of escape. 1 Cor 10:13
Back to the driving force behind addiction. If you don’t know what “it” is that drives you to your addiction of choice, find a support group, counselor, therapist or the Holy Spirit to help you find out what “it” is.
What else can be inside the iceberg? Marriage, kids, finances, career, death in the family and anything else in life that is unmanageable. Get the Iceberg to turn over and show what drives you so you can get healed up.