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Disabled? Funny Disability Denial Jokes

Updated on January 4, 2013
stayingalivemoma profile image

Valerie is pursuing a degree in Creative Writing and enjoys cooking, medical topics, flash fiction, fashion, culture and politics.

Look At It This Way...

After being denied Social Security Disability Insurance twice, I decided to take a lighthearted approach to my second denial letter. I figure third time is a charm, but while I'm waiting on my lawyer to hopefully win my case for me, I thought I would have some fun!

So here are some things that I think the Social Secuirty Administration really wants to put in that nice long denial letter that they send you. Please note, for anyone who doesn't have a funny bone in their body, that these are just jokes! I'm disabled and if I can laugh, surely you can too. Have a laugh, okay? Geez...

Stayingalivemoma's Disability Denial Jokes

1. Sorry, we didn't find you disabled. You can reapply once you've died.

2. Sorry, even though you have anxiety, asthma, arthritis and Alzheimers, we don't agree that you are disabled. Please reapply once you have added more medical conditions to your application.

3. We have reviewed your application and even though you are in heart failure, you still have a pulse which makes you ineligible for disability insurance.

4. Sorry, you listed depressive disorder on your application with trouble concentrating and memory loss. However, you did remember how to write, otherwise how else could you have done the application? Therefore, after careful review we did not find you disabled. Could you please forget about us now?

5. We have reviewed your application and you stated that you could no longer perform your job because your hands hurt from rheumatoid arthritis. After looking carefully at our records, we see that you dialed our number 14 times while we we reviewing your application to check on its status. Therefore, we have come to the conclusion that your hands work just fine. Nice try.

6. You stated in your application that you have trouble walking, however, we have you on camera coming into the Social Security Office for an interview and you seemed to be getting around just fine. Lots of people walk with a severe limp. Now, should you lose one or (preferably both your legs), then feel free to reapply.


Laughter is the BEST medicine, who says the doctors know what they're talking about anyway?

Have any jokes of your own you want to add? Feel free to post them or leave a comment. It's much appreciated.

Like what you read? Please share with your friends...we all can use a laugh and it is infectious...soon, the whole world will be laughing! HaHaHa

Social Security's One-Day Training



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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I NO I should have expected this. Every1 told me U R denied 1st time. I was. I filed the appeal myself after 1st denial, explained I could have been getting SSI since the brain tumor / seizures occurred 14 years ago, but I didn't file as I had pre-seizure warning signs, could still drive & LOVE working. Even 2 jobs when we didn't need the money. I'm that hyper & productive. Now that I no longer have my pre-seizure warning, I can't even drive, or use the tractor, or cook when alone. So I filed for the SS that I've paid into. I got this 2nd denial 2 my appeal N the mail 2nite. (PS on the appeal, every other ? they asked was-do u have an atty? - there's the 1st sign (Mind u I've paid in2 SS 4 over30+ years- (Money that the govt has already spent) But the verbiage in the appeal denial is SO effin asinine, my head is about to effin explode. Here's the exact verbiage of the appeal denial: YOU STATE THAT YOU ARE DISABLED DUE TO SEIZURES. THE EVIDENCE SHOWS THAT YOU DO HAVE THESE RESTRICTIONS WHICH PREVENT YOU FROM PERFORMING YOUR PAST WORK. HOWEVER RESTRICTIONS DO NOT PRECLUDE YOU FROM PERFORMING THE TYPE OF WORK AS IT IS NORMALLY PERFORMED IN THE NATIONAL ECONOMY. Seriously, the national economy - as it is now??? The one that the govt has tanked, that a large group of able bodied - non-seizure people can't even work in? OMG I am so mad I can't even re-read this anymore. All I can say is they were so worried about me having an attorney. Well I WILL have an atty by 10 am 2moro. But that is something they shouldn't be so worried about. What they should be concerned about is the Cajun tornado that even most of the USA has never viewed before. EVER. HOW DARE THEY. If I had never worked and was having babies out the wazoo, I'd be getting checks out of my ears, each time it would increase, the more babies, the more money. They aren't even taking into consideration all the money Hubby and I earned for them in taxes on all the salary, high earning taxed dollars, taxes on items bought, taxes on our successful business, have never been ON the system & now that we need some of our PAID money to them back for an out of control medical DISABILITY they have the nads to state that I should be able to function with seizures in the NATIONAL ECONOMY that doesn't exist because they tanked it???????????? They shouldn't be afraid of me having an atty, they should be afraid of how far and wide I will publicize this. I will devote EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE moment that I will have on this. I'm so stunned by this that I can't even breathe properly. To them I should have applied at the first diagnosis. But no, I worked through it when I had warning signs. Now I know what I'm up against. And they will soon be finding out what / who they are up against. Tired of people being cattle and following these SOB's these self serving greedy politicos that haven't even met me yet. But they will. And they don't know my stamina. So FUCKING pissed I can't see straight. Not going to mention this to Hubby as he is stressed enough. We are losing our farm due to these greedy bastards and their friends tanking our economy and costing us our businesses, Since we are moving into a tee-niney house, I'll have nothing but time. I will not be cattle, as they are not leading. No threats here on my part. Only promises. American will be run by Americans, of the people, by the people, for the people. I will ensure to bring that back into my world. Not for, by and of the politicians lining their pockets and those of their cronies. I may have uncontrollable seizures, but I do have time as I am UN-HIRE-ABLE in what they refer to as THE NATIONAL ECONOMY. God forgive me for my words, thoughts and anger. But I've had enough. Will no longer tolerate this Governmental BS. I begin tomorrow, not with violence but with an anger and an unstoppable voice.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Thanks for sharing your humor with us. I'm glad you see the situation so lightly, even though you've struggled so much. On a serious note, this lawyer may be able to help you get some of your cases approved:

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      Yes, MT, its so sad, there are many like me or worse that gets denied. It's shameful. Thanks for the comment and the follow!

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      6 years ago from Minnesota

      I can't believe you were denied with all the issues you are struggling with. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that third time is a charm. Thanks for the light-hearted hub.

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      Thanks Michael for commenting!

    • rmichaelf profile image

      Michael Fielder 

      6 years ago from North Central West Virginia, where the green grass grows...

      Humor is all that is too often left after dealing with bureaucracies, and wow, yours is undeniably wonderful!

      I went through the process and had a very kindred experience. (Eventually I succeeded. Or my lawyer did...)

      Much as when I went through my draft physical in the 60's. To this day Alice's Restaurant comes humming out when confronted with just plain stupidity and ignorance!

      Thanks for the smile I will be wearing today! I will surely project the forces of Light and success to you.

    • raburcke profile image


      6 years ago from Fuengirola, Málaga, Spain

      Sorry, I would grant you your disability allowance, but I hurt my left pinky finger and it would be such an inconvenience for me to do all this typing, when I am in excruciating pain, so no!

    • purepotential profile image


      6 years ago

      How about this one.

      Sorry, you mentioned that you are unable to think and are not able to communicate well. Your documentation is disoriented, and lacks clarity. Please try again when you are better able to communicate.

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      Heck yeah!! I'm all for it..people who drive now with sight act like they are the ones driving blind!! Thanks for sharing!!

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      6 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      This one has nothing to do with being denied by SSI but is too funny not to share on a hub about "disabilities". An 86-yr-old friend lost most of her sight to macular degeneration only a few years ago and the one thing she hated to give up most was driving. Says she'd still be driving if somebody would just come up with a Braille steering wheel. Why are there Braille number pads on ATM machines if not to accommodate blind drivers? lol!

      Personally, I think the ones who are TRULY disabled are the people at SSI whose favorite (only?) word is "denied". ;D

    • lobobrandon profile image

      Brandon Lobo 

      6 years ago

      Awesome yet a bad thing to do. The one - you still have a pulse is insane!!

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      Thanks!! It certainly made me feel better!!

    • catspirit profile image


      6 years ago

      Great sense of humor for such a serious subject. Great job

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      yep yep!!

    • Sneha Sunny profile image

      Sneha Sunny 

      6 years ago from India

      lol...... You strongly believe that laughter is the best medicine,,, that's why you make us all laugh each time...:-)

      keep up the good work...... ;-)

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      7 years ago from Lagos

      If you can find humor in disappointment then you re one strong willed person. You re blessed. Be strong!

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 

      7 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      nice one!

      We have a support group in our town that is regularly advertised in the local paper for "short term memory loss" I always wonder if anyone remembers to turn up!

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      7 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Rated UP and hilarious!

      A friend who has MS and has been in a wheelchair for at least 10 years, first tried applying for SSI Disability while still working as a customer service rep for a utility company because she sensed she was getting to the point that she'd no longer be able to do her job properly and would be fired.

      She didn't go to the SSI office but to a local attorney whose TV ads claimed *his* clients were never denied their rightful benefits. The assistant who interviewed her might as well have been working at SSI. Treated my friend not only as if she was faking the MS, but that she was applying for a variation of welfare that the attorney would be paying personally. Was all very odd, and she had no desire to be represented by this firm.

      As it turned out, the utility company didn't want to fire her, but DID need to let her go because the MS was impairing her ability to handle calls properly. So they filled out all the paperwork necessary for her to get SSI and bent over backwards to do everything they could to get her approved quickly.

      After she got over the initial shock of being "rejected" by the company she'd worked for for 16 years and accepted that they'd done her a huge favor by smoothing the way to get SSI, she thought that was the end of the process. But no.

      For several months after she "retired", she got calls from some guy at the util company's disability insurance carrier. After chatting away for a few minutes, he'd ask "And when do you think you'll be able to return to work?"!

      "Well, never", she'd say each time. But this clod wouldn't give up, so in what turned out to be last and final call, she asked if he knew what MS was. Amazingly, he admitted he didn't! So she told him that she'd save him the trouble of looking it up on the internet, that MS is an *incurable and progressive* disease, that those who have it **never** get better, only worse. His reply was "Oh. I won't bother you again then". Well, duh... ;D

    • frogyfish profile image


      7 years ago from Central United States of America

      Aw, cute! Glad you have a good sense of humor! And shared it!

    • mserscan profile image


      7 years ago from Orlando

      I understand!!!!! I have MS and lots of my friends have been denied over and over. We joke about too. Thanks for giving me new ammunition :)

    • Erin LeFey profile image

      Erin LeFey 

      7 years ago from Maryland

      try going through Allsup, they had me approved on the first try. And I didn't have to fight with them. Best wishes.

    • geegee77 profile image


      7 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

      I think that was hilarious, I also believe we have to have a sense of humor about our lives regardless of our disabilities or medical illnesses. I truly hope you don't get denied again. Keep up the good work, can't wait to read your other hubs:) ge

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      HAHA it is really true and proven, laughter is the best medicine. I believe that our body get more energized and function well every time we laugh and every time we feel so happy.

    • Rachelle Williams profile image

      Rachelle Williams 

      7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      LOL@ lord de cross...

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      7 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      lol...sweet! That's the spirit! Anyone else like to come up with a joke about this?

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 

      7 years ago from New York


      Since you wrote this hub, your 60% share has increased, which makes you uneligible 100% for our service. And last but not less, that laughter of yours is incresing your health conditions, which again is not a suitable sign for us and our service. In one word:If you reaply we will redeny accordingly. Tip: you can try if you list 20 health comditions...that might help.

      SSA(sure... same attitude)

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      7 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      OMG, I am so sorry to hear that. I'm not quite there yet, but some days, I definitely FEEL like that.

    • Rachelle Williams profile image

      Rachelle Williams 

      7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      My sister went through the whole SSI disability denial thing, and she was so weak until my brothers had to literally carry her from the couch to the bathroom.

      It took her almost three years and two lawyers to finally get approved. The SSI Disability folks need to be completely ashamed of themselves.

    • Rachelle Williams profile image

      Rachelle Williams 

      7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      My sister went through the whole SSI disability denial thing, and she was so weak until my brothers had to literally carry her from the couch to the bathroom.

      It took her almost three years and two lawyers to finally get approved. The SSI Disability folks need to be completely ashamed of themselves.

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      7 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      lol, I know, right? Unfortunately, it takes me several days just to write one article because I am in in pain on a daily basis and have to pace myself. But what a great compliment! I am blushing! (Really...and that's hard to do when you're Black). Cheers!

    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 

      7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      stayingalivemoma, Really nice try sweetie, but since you are able to publish these jokes and write such awe inspiring articles you must be able to make a living as a journalist...

      Great hub! Voted up

    • stayingalivemoma profile imageAUTHOR

      Valerie Washington 

      7 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      @lundmusik Thanks for the feedback!! I figured, what else do I have to lose?

    • lundmusik profile image


      7 years ago from Tucson AZ

      thanks for the humor,, may your next application be successful!!!


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