ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dating the Girl With Social Anxiety

Updated on September 7, 2017

Based on the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) 15 million American adults live with social anxiety disorder. Before we dive into things, the definition given for social anxiety disorder is the extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations. What most people may say is “oh they are just shy” or “They just like being to themselves”; this isn’t the case for people who suffer from social anxiety disorder. Me….I’ve always been a very social and very involved person, always wanting to talk more than I listen, so how is it that I ended up with someone who suffers from social anxiety? This is a question I have yet to figure out, but I thank God every day that the beautiful girl that I have the opportunity of loving was put into my life. Loving someone with social anxiety can be frustrating, but there are some things that I have had to learn that has truly helped me find the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Understand that this isn’t they same type of girl that you have always dated. One of the most confusing things about dating someone with this type of anxiety is they don’t think like anyone you have ever dated. You could be asking her to just come hang out with you and some friends not thinking anything about it, but to her it’s the most stressful thing she has done in weeks. She may start coming up with excuses or just backing out on a lot of things that you have planned. You just have to understand that it’s not you. It can be something as big as her worrying about everyone judging her for how she looks or talks, or something as small as not knowing what to order around your friends at a restaurant. Know that it was probably a pretty big deal for her to hang out with you in the first place (assuming that it probably took a while and some persistence for that to happen). Though this may be frustrating understand that she has given you trust and this is probably something you didn’t have with all the other girls you dated

Be her strongest supporter when it comes to her dreams and aspirations.

A lot of times social anxiety steams from something, whether it be some type of event where she may have been humiliated by someone in the past, or maybe she was stuck in a bad relationship. You don’t know how much it means to her that you support her dreams and the things she want’s in life because she might not have the confidence to pursue much less open up about it unless you are backing her and pushing her to live those dreams, Whether it be blogging and writing post, educating kids in a class room, or public speaking in front of an audience (Not too likely, but hey if the shoe fits) let her know that you are behind her 100%. We would have never known who Johnny Depp was if he let his social anxiety cripple him.

She can give you a stronger love than you have ever seen.

She is sooooo weird. Like on another level weird. That’s ok though cause aren’t we all? She is dating you for a reason and is weird because she feels comfortable around you and that’s probably one of the best parts about it. So many times I have dated girls that have to act a certain way or be a certain person so I doubt know if I ever learned who they really were but with here not only do I know who she is but also I know who I am. I don’t have to put up a front and act like a robot but I am naturally weird and myself when it comes to being with her. You know she feels comfortable with you because she wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t. Once she starts loving you she will do anything for you so be a gentleman. Open the door for her, go out of your way to do something to make her day, show her what it feels like to be truly loved and she will always give you the best of her.

Most importantly…..

Be patient

Yeah I know it’s hard. We live in a world where we want things right now…..but didn’t God say in the Bible, “Love is patient”? She will over think things and sometimes make you want to pull your hear out, but at the end of the day being patient with here and making her understand that you will work with her and take the time needed to help get through the struggles she is facing will put her at ease and make her understand that you don’t just see her as another girl. It took a long month for her to even agree to go on a first date with me, and an even longer month for her to understand the purity of the love I have for her, because in her.... I don’t see anxiety

In her I see someone that loves unconditionally. Someone who will go out of her way to do things for the people around her, not because it is asked of her, but out of the good of her heart. Someone who still watches cartoons after a scary movie. Someone who can make me smile without even opening her mouth…..But most importantly someone who has the ability to love me through all of my flaws and see through the baggage I sometimes carry from my past, and for that I will forever be grateful.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)