Dating the Girl With Social Anxiety
Based on the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) 15 million American adults live with social anxiety disorder. Before we dive into things, the definition given for social anxiety disorder is the extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations. What most people may say is “oh they are just shy” or “They just like being to themselves”; this isn’t the case for people who suffer from social anxiety disorder. Me….I’ve always been a very social and very involved person, always wanting to talk more than I listen, so how is it that I ended up with someone who suffers from social anxiety? This is a question I have yet to figure out, but I thank God every day that the beautiful girl that I have the opportunity of loving was put into my life. Loving someone with social anxiety can be frustrating, but there are some things that I have had to learn that has truly helped me find the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Understand that this isn’t they same type of girl that you have always dated. One of the most confusing things about dating someone with this type of anxiety is they don’t think like anyone you have ever dated. You could be asking her to just come hang out with you and some friends not thinking anything about it, but to her it’s the most stressful thing she has done in weeks. She may start coming up with excuses or just backing out on a lot of things that you have planned. You just have to understand that it’s not you. It can be something as big as her worrying about everyone judging her for how she looks or talks, or something as small as not knowing what to order around your friends at a restaurant. Know that it was probably a pretty big deal for her to hang out with you in the first place (assuming that it probably took a while and some persistence for that to happen). Though this may be frustrating understand that she has given you trust and this is probably something you didn’t have with all the other girls you dated
Be her strongest supporter when it comes to her dreams and aspirations.
A lot of times social anxiety steams from something, whether it be some type of event where she may have been humiliated by someone in the past, or maybe she was stuck in a bad relationship. You don’t know how much it means to her that you support her dreams and the things she want’s in life because she might not have the confidence to pursue much less open up about it unless you are backing her and pushing her to live those dreams, Whether it be blogging and writing post, educating kids in a class room, or public speaking in front of an audience (Not too likely, but hey if the shoe fits) let her know that you are behind her 100%. We would have never known who Johnny Depp was if he let his social anxiety cripple him.
She can give you a stronger love than you have ever seen.
She is sooooo weird. Like on another level weird. That’s ok though cause aren’t we all? She is dating you for a reason and is weird because she feels comfortable around you and that’s probably one of the best parts about it. So many times I have dated girls that have to act a certain way or be a certain person so I doubt know if I ever learned who they really were but with here not only do I know who she is but also I know who I am. I don’t have to put up a front and act like a robot but I am naturally weird and myself when it comes to being with her. You know she feels comfortable with you because she wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t. Once she starts loving you she will do anything for you so be a gentleman. Open the door for her, go out of your way to do something to make her day, show her what it feels like to be truly loved and she will always give you the best of her.
Yeah I know it’s hard. We live in a world where we want things right now…..but didn’t God say in the Bible, “Love is patient”? She will over think things and sometimes make you want to pull your hear out, but at the end of the day being patient with here and making her understand that you will work with her and take the time needed to help get through the struggles she is facing will put her at ease and make her understand that you don’t just see her as another girl. It took a long month for her to even agree to go on a first date with me, and an even longer month for her to understand the purity of the love I have for her, because in her.... I don’t see anxiety
In her I see someone that loves unconditionally. Someone who will go out of her way to do things for the people around her, not because it is asked of her, but out of the good of her heart. Someone who still watches cartoons after a scary movie. Someone who can make me smile without even opening her mouth…..But most importantly someone who has the ability to love me through all of my flaws and see through the baggage I sometimes carry from my past, and for that I will forever be grateful.