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Deception, Lies, Dishonesty, Deceit: Which Mask Do You Wear?

Updated on June 26, 2008

Deception, lies, dishonesty, deceit - which mask do you choose to wear when you're dealing with people? Which mask do you choose to sport with your family and friends? It takes less time to be honest and be truthful, than the time you have to expend lying and being deceptive.

So how do you choose your mask? A lot of people choose a mask that is the antithesis of what it is they truly are. Some wear the mask of avarice, some wear a mask that shrouds their true intentions. Some hide behind their online personas, unaware that one day they may be revealed. In either case the end result is destruction. Destruction of the paths they crossed, destruction of a person's faith and trust and belief in others. Destruction of themselves.

Let me break something down to you, you may think it is ok to use people and play with their feelings and emotions, but what happens when it is done to you? How would you feel if someone crossed your path and they were completely dishonest from the beginning about their true intentions and motives? One thing I have learned is that when people talk a great deal, they really are hiding something. They are hiding themselves. When someone spends more time giving you a thirty page dossier as an answer to a simple question, they are being dishonest. How about an answer that is less than a sentence? I have wasted a great deal of time listening to thirty page dossiers that I would rather a person answered a question in ten words or less. I get tired of being lost in words! And, after awhile those words mean nothing...

So how about your relationships? Well if you're dealing with someone who can't even be honest with themselves, there is no way they will be honest with you, and you will find yourself upset and angry because you invested your time in someone that felt it necessary to lie, be deceptive and run rampant with deceit. It is important that when you're dealing with people that you are honest from the beginning. This way, you have nothing to hide, and well let's just say you could sleep good at night knowing you aren't hurting someone because you can't even keep it real. See if you keep it real with yourself, you can keep it real with others. Then here is something that I have learned that is pretty interesting, when a person is discovering that the person behind the mask is being revealed, they hide behind another mask, the one called "denial." The denial is well "I can't love you or I can't try to make things better with everyone I destroyed because this is how I was raised. So I don't know any better." Bull! So now we have to hide behind our childhood experiences because we still don't want to own up to what we do to others.

How about the people we tend to use to get ahead on the ladder of success? Well there are those that I like to call opportunists. Opportunists are those that could care less about the welfare of others because they are strictly all for themselves. They are the ones that will befriend you because they think you have something to offer them so that they could raise up. See they are the ones that will step on you on the way up, but they don't realize that they too will be stepped on by someone on the way up! Yeah the empires they create can one day fall. Opportunists generally see an opportunity either with someone or something, and they stop at nothing to get what they want. These are the people you should be wary of, because not only do they feel you with a false sense of a friendship, and even a relationship, but once they have used you up, they are off to their next conquest...prior to the next victim however, the opportunist has one more thing they need to do: they need to demonize you to family, friends, co-workers and their online communities. You know the opportunist has to have support from others because there is no way they would ever face what they have done to others...they need assurance that they were right all along! (This is also how they get their next conquest) That cycle never ends. Listen to your internal radars when you deal with people. If a red-flag comes up - run...and run fast!

How about those who seem genuine in the beginning (I like to call this the "Beautiful" mask) because everything they say and do is beautiful. They seem genuinely interested in the well-being of others. They care about world affairs. They give of themselves. You find yourself taken by that beauty. But all that glitters isn't gold. There are many who have ulterior motives, they just don't show them at first. The antithesis comes out later, accompanied with avarice and the opportunist. Yeah that beautiful one is really a beast...ready to pounce on its next willing victim.

So how do you choose your mask?

Do you use your family and friends? Can you even call someone a friend knowing you're not even being honest with them? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and face the person you deceive the most? Or would you rather spend your time in front of a mirror in a cloudy haze because the person staring back at you seems unfamiliar?

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself the next time you find yourself faced with a situation that requires honesty: "If I do this, how would I feel about myself the next day? If someone else is involved, and I do this, would it strengthen or destroy the relationship? If I choose to spend time with this other person and I know my man/woman is at home thinking everything is honky-dory because they believe what I am saying to them, how would they feel knowing the truth?" Bottom-line, "that which is done in the dark always comes to light..." If you don't want your dishonesty, deception, lies and deceit revealed, you should act accordingly and toss all of that out of the window and keep it real. A person would have more respect for someone that says, "You know what, I don't do good with exclusivity...or monogamy...or other people....or situations...or whatever...but I just wanted to bring that to your attention before we proceeded any further..." Giving someone the chance to decide whether that is what they want for themselves says a great deal about you as a person, than just running with the bull...

So how do you choose your mask?


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      Anette 3 years ago

      You just brought back little of my lost believe for decent human beings..... Thank you from bottom of my heart !