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Denial: The Absence Of Acceptance

Updated on January 3, 2011


Why is it that we sometimes live in denial when really deep down we know that what we don't want to believe is really true?

It is very hard to admit something that you know may be true, such as, loss of a family member or a best friend. You know it has happened, but you just can't believe it nor what to believe that has happened.

This also goes for living in denial when being addicted to alcohol or drugs. A thousand people can tell you that you are an alcoholic or a drug addict, but you don't want to believe a word they say and fight them tooth and nail telling them they are dead wrong with their assumption of your life.

Denial the absence of acceptance is so true in all areas of our lives. We don't want to admit that something is true and refuse to accept that it has happened or that you are an alcoholic or a drug addict.


When I was living with an alcohol addiction, I listened to anyone that spoke to me about my drinking just to be polite, but it went in one ear and out the other. I had a hard time believing what everyone said regarding my life of drinking alcohol.

I had it in my mind that these people were crazy and didn't know what they were talking about. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong and I was not hurting anyone by drinking beer everyday. I was right and they were wrong, that's what I thought and that' why I was in denial.

So many people live in this world of denial and they just can't handle the truth, no matter what anyone tells them. This is why it is called denial and those in denial can not accept the truth.


For myself, it had taken many years to finally realize that I did have an alcohol problem and thought to myself, everyone can't be wrong, it must be me.

When I finally realize it was me and not anyone else it made it easier to accept the fact that I had a drinking problem and everyone that spoke of that problem for all those years where indeed absolutely right in their assumption of my life and how I was living it.

Now knowing and accepting this addiction I could now concentrate on fixing my problem and making things right in my life and everyone involved in it, including my family and friends.

Once I accepted that I was in denial and wanted to get clean and sober again, all those people that preached and worried about me where right by my side giving a helping hand.

No one ever left me out in the cold. They stuck by me through thick and thin, and through good times and bad. I will forever be grateful to them for hanging in there till I finally realized I had to change my life around.

They very well could of just called it quits with trying to explain to me I was in denial and telling me I needed to stop drinking alcohol, but they stuck by my side knowing I would finally realize someday I needed to change my life around and get clean and sober once and for all.



What helped me and may help you as well with finding your sobriety, is that changing your outlook in life and living with a Positive Attitude instead of being so down and negative will certainly help you get out of denial and realize life has to better living the life of sobriety. Own up to your problem and take a good hard look at how you are living and what pain you are causing to people around you that love and care for you.

Be the better person in your life and don't let those horrible alcohol demons run and ruin your life for one more minute. Stand up to them and admit and surrender. Stop living life like there is no problem, because if you are living in denial, then there is a problem that has to be confronted.

You will never know how sobriety feels again unless you reach out a grab it and get out of denial and admit you have a drinking problem and you want help to overcome this addiction.

If you are not willing to admit you have a problem and may need help with getting clean and sober then you have to stop and take a better look at the life you now lead.

After I realized I was in denial and admitted to myself and others that there was a problem with my drinking it then came across to me that I had wasted so many precious years of my life walking around in life thinking there was no problem. These years can never be replaced, so I now live my life in sobriety and never want to look back at what I had missed out on and just make the best of my life now and try to be the best man I can.

This video explains denial and addiction well and brings to light how hiding the truth is not only hurting the addicted, but your family and our children as well.



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    • the clean life profile image

      Mark Bruno 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore

      Ibis Suau- Thank you so much for your comment and for reading. Ever since I started to write here on HP and my blog and other sites I tell it the way it is and I use my experiences of drinking to hopefully help others realize there is always hope for sobriety but only if that is the life you truly want to have. A live of sobriety .

      As far as This Is It. i just had enough of myself lying to myself thinking I had no problem at all. I think that many people have to hit rock bottom before they realize that something has to be done in their life and make it right for them and others. enough is enough I said. play time is over and I need to stand up to my demons once and for all. Stopped being negative and always saying why poor me!!! Poor me was doing the destruction to myself. self- destruction I call it!!

    • Ibis Suau profile image

      Ibis Suau 5 years ago from Florida

      Clean life, very brave to write this hub, based on your own experience.It is a very difficult road, I see this every day in my work as a nurse. If is not an indiscretion, I would like to know what made you say "This is it". I always hear that addictions are so powerful that only when the person is in the bottom may have a chance to rehabilitate. what do you think about that?, thanks

    • the clean life profile image

      Mark Bruno 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore

      @ Denise, What your Minister said makes total sense when I think about it. There are only the two, Denial and Recovery. Thank God I now fit in the category of Recovery!

      I just might try to write a hub on that one Denise. I love how that is put and thank for always thinking of me and being a true friend. :)

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Denial is an obstacle for any true satisfaction with life. It isn't just a quandry of one who is addicted, but crosses the lines of any gender, socioeconomic or race, creed, etc. Anyone can be in denial for whatever reason. Even as a defense against low self esteem or painful emotions such as inadequacy. But, it certainly does not serve our recovery, does it?

      Great hub, Marky. Voted it up and awesome.

      My minister from long ago, a recovering alcoholic, used to tell us...his congregation: "you are either in recovery or in denial" My late husband and I used to joke that "we must be in denial, cuz we sure weren't in recovery" I never knew how true those words I spoke applied to me.

      Sometimes, I feel as if I have awoken from a very long dream state called denial. Thanks for sharing.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      An excellent and heart-felt piece of work, the clean life! I have bookmarked this and intend to send this wonderful message on to family and friends. Peace and love to you, my friend!

    • sofs profile image

      sofs 6 years ago

      Yes, the first step to overcome any problem is to accept it, once you accept it, you can focus your attention on fixing it and when people see you are serious about fixing your problem I am sure they are going to be supportive. But the problem, as you say is mostly with the individual not wanting to accept that he/she is the problem.

      Mark I am sure your experience and your expression of it here will surely help many. God bless you!

    • the clean life profile image

      Mark Bruno 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore

      @ Ashantina, Thanks for the comment and yes it takes some people longer (if at all) to come to their senses and realize that they have a problem. But better late then never right. Then there are those that never get out of denial and unfortunatly die from their addiction while still being in their denial. It really is so sad !

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 6 years ago

      Its strange how it takes courage to step out of the fog and stand in the rain. But then it goes back to that old cliche: Ignorance is Bliss. For many, the reality of life is just too darn painful.. Usually some 'event' wakes us up though...

      Great article.