ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Diary of a lunatic housewife.....

Updated on May 6, 2011


“Hi, my name is Dani and I am batshit crazy.”

When I used to think of depression, I always pictured Eeyore.  I imagined a person who was always complaining, always miserable, and never had any fun at all.   I was sure that I didn’t have any depressed people as close friends or family, surely I would have noticed, that kind of behavior would be hard to overlook. I have to admit, because of that I really didn’t think much about it at all. Why would I, it really didn’t affect me or anyone close to me.

I really believed that, even during the time that I went pretty bonkers. It’s funny, when you go batshit crazy, you really don’t realize it at the time. What’s interesting is that most of the people around you don’t either. They know that something is wrong, but are not sure what. My mother thought I was angry at her because I didn’t want to talk. If she would have asked me, I would have just said I wasn’t in the mood. I really thought that was true.  I had 2 friends that were a little more concerned with the changes they saw in me and they pushed me to see my doctor. Now, once again, in my opinion there was nothing wrong. I thought that I was a bit unhappy, totally understandable considering the events that had recently occurred, but that was all. But, they were worried and because they seldom ask me to do anything and I knew it was because they cared, I agreed to humor them and see the doctor. What a learning experience I was in for.  

I go to the Veteran’s Administration (VA) Medical Center for my health care. When I called them to schedule a mental health appointment they brought me in the very next day. I wondered if I sounded completely nuts or if that was normal protocol. They also were extremely helpful and told me if I needed to come in that night, just come to the ER. That made me a bit nervous and I started to wonder if I was going to be taking a vacation in a nice soft room with no sharps allowed and wearing a hug myself jacket. I mentioned to my husband that I had an appointment because I was “stressed”.  He actually asked me what had me stressed. Obviously he hadn’t noticed anything.  At that point I started to think again that my friends were obviously over reacting. But, I’d given my word so I went anyway. I sat down with the psychologist and told her that I was not stressed, I was not depressed, I really didn’t think I was anything that she could do anything about….I was just unhappy. She was very nice and talked to me for a bit then asked me to answer some questions.

*Are you tired all the time?* well yes, what does that have to do with being crazy?

*Do you have problems getting motivated?* yes…I’ve just been lazy right?

*you don’t do things you used to enjoy doing* well…I just haven’t felt like it..

*Do you not feel like talking to people so much* I’ve just been in a quiet mood…

As we went on, and I had to nod to everything she asked, the song “The Night Santa Went Crazy” started running through my head …just changed a few words around and made it “The Summer Dani went Crazy”. Finally I sighed and told her I was so failing this test.

Some other symptoms of depression are:

Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying

Persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness

Weight loss or gain brought on by loss of appetite or overeating (can I just say right here that I dive for the brownies and chocolate chip cookies when I am not happy)

Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment such as headaches, digestive disorders,  and chronic pain

Basically, yes, I am a confirmed, card carrying crazy. Actually her words were, “You are clinically depressed.” The crazy and nut comments are my translation of that. On one hand, suddenly this explained a lot of what had been going on with me, on the other hand…well, I had obviously lost my mind.

The VA seems to take mental health very seriously. I am convinced it’s because as former service members, if we go completely bonkers we can be more effective at taking out ourselves and/or others, and that is terrible public relations when a veteran does that. She called up to the mental health ward (which I affectionately call “the loony bin” or “the funny farm” and told scheduling that I needed the *next available* appointment with the psychiatrist. I call him “the keeper of the drugs” because his goal is to make me less crazy through the use of pharmaceuticals. I decided that was pretty ok. I really did not like coming to see the psychologist (or talky doctor) though. . She’s really nice, she is great at her job, but I just don’t like to discuss things. I have found that I am actually terrible at it. I am pretty sure that when she sees that I am scheduled to come in, she cringes and wants to bang her head against the wall in frustration. She very nicely told me that I use humor to deflect things. I can agree with that, but the humor makes it seem a little better to me, so I’m sticking with it.

I do think one of the perks to being bonkers should be that it should be an excuse for just about anything and everything.

“Officer, I know I was speeding, but you know…I’m nuts”  

“I know my library book is 3 years overdue…but I’m crazy”

“I bounced a check? Well, you see, I am insane and I was in need of some major retail therapy”

It does not seem to work like this yet, I am so going to have to work on this a bit more. I had to go visit my doctors twice a week at first (it’s hard work being crazy, thank you very much…it’s like a full time job). Now I don’t have to go quite as often, my medications do pretty well and I can recognize when I am getting completely loony. It’s funny….I have a couple of friends that have recently discovered they too are nuts. After much discussion we have decided that I am “Thelma and Louise” nuts…one of our friends is “Fatal Attraction” nuts…and one is “The Shining” nuts.  That’s a whole lot of crazy in one group of friends. Luckily one of my very closest friends is not insane and she attempts to keep us loons from completely going off the deep end. Not an easy job let me tell you. She is one of the most giving, kindhearted people I know. She draws people to her so I think of Mary in “There’s something about Mary” when I think of her. I so think the good thing about the crazy club (and I include Mary in this even though she is not a card carrying nut, she needs to be in it because she puts up with us) is that since we are all a different brand of crazy, we kind of balance each other out…..if we were the same kind, well that could be very bad. I can picture us all driving off a cliff….going for a stakeout…or swarming a house with axes. If you add in Mary’s influence, we’d have men following us everywhere…hmm, that doesn’t sound so bad does it?

But, the rules are…as Thelma I am not allowed to ever come up with plan A, or drive.  Glenn…well she is so not allowed near kitchen knives, night vision goggles, or phones….and as for our friend Jack, she is not allowed to have any axes or other implements of destruction.  That leaves Mary, and honestly, I think we all secretly wish to be more like Mary, but that is another story for another time.  


 If you are experiencing one or more symptoms of depression, call your doctor and make an appointment.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      As a VA staff member who works in MH it was gratifying to hear you were able to be seen quickly. Thank you for your service and I hope we can travel with you on your personal recovery journey.

    • pandora99 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Charles Town, West Virginia

      LOL, you'll be added to the cast I am sure. You do have your own brand of nuts.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I was wondering where I fit into all of this? I guess I've got my own special crazyness.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)