Dirty Little C Word
Why That C word is so bad
At this point you may have a different 4 letter C word in your mind, so let's clean it up ladies and gentlemen I am talking about the word "can't". The close cousin to the word fear and usually go hand and hand. Can't or cannot meaning no other option, an auxiliary verb expressing incapacity, inability, withholding permission, etc; can not seems to be building in popularity since the early 1800's where the term was rarely used in the early 1930's until the 60's where it started to make a revival and right into your vocabulary. Can't is one of those words that is used more often then it should, typically incorrectly and inevitably when there are options and we are just making the choice to not utilize them.
Negativity Family Tree
Can't, Fear, Stress, Procrastination, Regret,Jealousy, this is starting to sound like the 7 deadly sins. All of these words and behaviors are are self sustained. We make the decision to limit ourselves. Can't is an excuse, a bologna reason we use for whatever reason we convince ourselves that we are unable to achieve a task or goal. Can't is that negative friend who always as a problem for every solution. The difference is this friend is in our minds, we choose to allow this mini negative nelly to live in our heads and dictate what we will and will not be. Can't usually stems from insecurity about your ability, your lack of confidence in what you are able to achieve.
Can't stems from fear, fear is another one of those things we give so much power to. To be afraid of something that doesn't exist or may not even happen and allow you to choose not to move forward is no different than believing in monsters under the bed. Remember that? being a small child and being terrified of reaching for your blanket that fell on the floor out of concern that the monsters are going to grab you into the pits of hell conveniently located just out of sight beneath the place you slept every night. Sounds kinda silly, doesn't it? Fear of asking for a raise or trying out for the baseball team, or even reaching for the blanket you dropped is your brain's natural reaction to the sole purpose of preservation. As we have changed our environments from caves and woods to houses and skyscrapers this natural ability to sense danger has adapted itself to everyday life and just like the need to be covered in hair has become useless ans we evolved we now must make the conscious choice to evolve from this as well.
Don't Stress What You Can't Control
There are things and times can't can live, I am not saying everything will play out exactly as you envision but this is where focus comes in. Let's go back to that example of asking for a raise. In your control is doing the best you can at your job. What you can control is actually asking your boss to give you a raise and explaining why you deserve it. What you can control is being confident in your words and body language that you have earned this raise. As long as you choose to do all that you can to sway the decision as much as possible in your favor there is nothing else you can do. The final decision comes down to her/him so why stress the outcome? The fear of hearing no created by self doubt and insecurity creates the negative expectations that the higher ups won't see your value. You allow yourself to be defeated even before you attempt to achieve the task of asking. You are literally standing in your own way over things that most likely won't even take place and then you start in with that C word. "I can't ask for a raise I am not the best worker." I can't because she doesn't like me, I can't because of whatever excuse you convince yourself of to rationalize your canceled call to action but without following through and embracing that you have done all you can do it allows you to have the confidence to face your task head on without being bogged down with imaginary roadblocks.
Inside And Outside Influences
Now that we have established what a terrible little word can't really is, how can we lookout for the signs its creeping into our lives? First, let's look within. Self doubt is the biggest restriction that keeps you from doing what you need to do. Take pride in you and your ideas, if you don't believe in you, why would anyone else? Secondly, there's the nay sayers, the negative nancy, the pessimist, downers, prophets of doom or if you read my article three circles that can change your life, these are the people you want to keep in circle three. Don't let others talk you out of what you have in mind, your thought doesn't need to make sense to them just to you. Every new idea went up against people who called it crazy and said it would never work, it means nothing. When they tell you that you can't tell them "watch me."
Don't Quit! This clip really focuses on how powerful we can be if we just allow ourselves to be legendary. Most people aren't afraid of the dark, the dark is all they know. It's comfortable to them and they have adapted to it. It is the light that frightens them, the prospect of greatness. Can they be great? Can they be legendary? The answer is an astounding yes! You can do anything you work hard at. Today I want you to take 1 minute and stand in front of a mirror, tell yourself you aren't going to quit on you and that you are worth the fight. You can be legendary. Say it out loud because I need you to hear it, I need you to know that it's not just some sentence you read in an article but the truth. You are not quitting on you. You can do this. You are worth the fight. You will be legendary. Start your day with it, set the tone. Think it to yourself as you ask for that raise, try out for that team, or simply while you are brushing your teeth. You are worth it, and you will be legendary.