- Mental Health
Disadvantages of being nice - When being too nice can hurt
Only a skeptic would think of the disadvantages of being nice. After all, being Mr. Nice Guy is the way to go, isn't it? Irony or the truth of life, call it what you want. Being nice to everyone around your all the time can sometimes hurt you. From horror stories of being labeled and treated as a doormat to cases of school and workplace bullying, the cons of being nice may land the best of us in a soup. Here is a skeptical approach to why being nice, can fail.
For the ease of relating certain points to real life situations and examples, words like he, guy and man have been used. However you should note that this hub is not gender specific. It is aimed at both, male and female audiences.
Being nice amongst friends
In a perfect world, a group of friends would be full of people who are nice to each other and understand the emotional and moral quotient of each person in the group. As many would advice you, our world is anything but perfect. Being nice with your friends will definitely earn you heaps of brownie points and get you labeled as a 'good friend'. But sometimes, being nice may get you labeled as the guy who will accept everything thrown at him. Here's how.
- You may find yourself always running around to help your friends because you, Mr. Nice Guy, are only a phone call away and hardly need any convincing
- Your opinion may never matter while you and your friends decide for a place you want to visit for a short trip because your friends may think "Surely he won't say no to come to Mt Buller. He's nice and he won't reject this idea. Let's go with it"
- You will seldom be considered a man who will step up in a fight because Mr. Nice Guy usually doesn't pack a punch
- Being nice may make you the victim of practical jokes because you will not be expected to retaliate
- Being nice can lead to bullying
Being nice at work
Being nice to others at work can definitely have a lot of disadvantages. An office or a workplace environment generally has the atmosphere of cut throat competition, even though it may not be that apparent. People may be clawing their way up the corporate ladder to get an edge over their very own friends and work colleagues. It is this very reason of "getting the upper hand" at work that people who try to be nice may be faced with certain disadvantages. Here are some common workplace scenarios that you may be faced with if you go that extra mile to be nice to all your colleagues.
- Colleagues at work may take advantage of you and try to offload their share of work to you
- You boss may give you more work than you can do, thinking "Oh he's a nice guy. He won't say no"
- Being nice may get you all the awards and compliments like "nice job!", but can delay that significant promotion because nice guys usually don't make great managers
- When companies and corporates are looking for people who can be their faces, they may prefer to groom the arrogant brat and tone down his arrogance levels rather than groom Mr. Nice Guy to put him out of his comfort zone
- In many work environments, employees are expected to ask and fight for perks and other benefits which may not be the agenda of someone who is really nice and courteous
Being nice to your partner in a relationship
Although being nice in a relationship sounds like the perfect thing to do, it can show its ugly side when things start to go wrong. Although 'being nice' and 'being in love' sound perfectly complimentary to each other, there may be times when your habit of going that extra mile for your partner may backfire. In no way, does this mean that you should ever be rude to your partner. But keep your eyes and ears open and be alert of possible signs that your partner is taking advantage of your niceness. Here are a few classic examples.
- Your partner may take you for granted thinking "Oh he's too nice. He won't say anything"
- You may always be the one to bow down out of arguments simply because you are habituated to being nice
- You could be lied to because your partner may think "Oh he is too nice. He won't suspect anything"
- "Honey I've zeroed in on this fantastic restaurant for our date tonight. I already made the booking because I thought you wouldn't mind even though you don't like this type of cuisine" Get the point, Mr. Nice Guy?
- If you are just too nice to your partner all the time, you may find yourself doing all the work, errands and the boring bits that come as responsibilities of being in a relationship
Being nice in general
Being nice to people around you in daily life is really the right thing to do. After all, life is all about spreading love and sharing the joy, isn't it? Allow me to pull you out of your fairytale world and welcome you to the harsh 21st century. Everyone around you is out to climb the imaginary ladder of life filled with false notions of success and prosperity equals money. So don't be surprised if your niceness or politeness brings you in harm's way. Here are some typical daily life situations that can happen if you are the person who is always nice to others.
- "Hard bargaining never fails" and that's exactly why being nice to a salesperson in a shop may land you with an overpriced deal
- You may be ridiculed behind your back because being nice and overtly friendly with strangers may be looked down upon by the more arrogant personalities
- People may take emotional, moral, physical or financial advantage of you in daily life simply because you are being nice and don't have the heart to say no
- Being nice will definitely not help your cause if you are calling a customer service helpline to complain for the lack of services or a faulty product