ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do You need others words to make You feel Valuable?

Updated on November 16, 2011

Improving Your Self-Worth


Do you need others words to feel that you are valuable?


Self-esteem and self-worth seems often to be linked to others point of view regarding us. We give credence to another’s words in describing who we are. Think about this for a moment. If I would ask you to describe yourself, whose portrayal are you really giving? Are the traits you would list what you believe about yourself or are they an accumulation of others opinions. To feel good about whom you are, do you need positive feedback from others? If your self-worth is non-existent or limited, do you have trouble trusting others when they say something nice about you?



Our value cannot be created from outside us. The reason for that is we become dependent on others for us feeling good about ourselves. If that person eventually is not a part of your life, then they have carried your self- worth with them. We have to find ourselves worthy within, and not become reliant on others to feed us positive words to increase our self-esteem. You might see the point here, but wonder how one finds their own self-love.



The first step is to realize what others have said about you stems only from their beliefs. The majority of those come from their biases, which arrived from family and community conditioning. There usually is no truth in these opinions. There truth actually is ignorance. To accept this perception, you can then begin to realize those words that you thought were truth, were only delivered in the guise of knowledge. The actuality though was they were based on ignorance. Now you have a choice; to continue with these biases or see your own truth.



The second step is what many refer to as reinventing yourself. If you take all those words that were used as descriptive adjectives to control you and erase them, all you will have left is an empty slate. Being human though our minds act like computers and we need to change these words to a positive. This is not easy but is definitely doable. Some people swear that an affirmation is the way. For some it is, and for others it does not work. There are many methods available to help change a core thought. Finding one that works for you might take some time, but it is worth the effort.



The third step is to stop accepting others’ negative input about who you are. Do not accept words like lazy, stupid, ugly and there are so many words that we can add here. If they do use them, come from the core belief it is their bias. In this thought process, you will then be reminded their truth is linked to what others have said, and it does not represent you. This process can also be viewed as mentally cutting the cords that bind you to others’ ignorance.



The final step is to really believe your new concepts. This will take more effort, for you will have to eventually stop asking others for their approval. Our self-value must come from within, and as long as we seek others’ to be responsible in giving us approval, we will never experience our true identity.



These steps are to be taken slowly. Do not get caught up with the concept it will happen overnight or even a year. There is no destination point you are trying to arrive at, just a journey. On this journey what you value about yourself will change and another value will take its’ place. This is natural and is part of the journey. An example is if your core value is in helping people and you are always trying to help a person, eventually you might change that value into something else. Perhaps the effort of helping everyone will become a negative habit for you, so you will have to change this value into a more productive one.



This journey will help you to gain your self-worth through your own eyes and not another. Your core values will serve you in a positive way. It is a journey worth taking. There will come a day the outside world will not influence your sacred self-your spirit. You will then soar to many great heights.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)