- Quality of Life & Wellness»
- Personal Development
Do we care enough about other people?
Living is hard. It's natural for us to find someone who can help us - motivate us, support us, listen to us. There are cases that we need advice because life is just too overwhelming to handle.That's why we have "friends." That's why we create relationship with other people. They help us and we help them in return. But there are cases when we ask for help and stumble upon different kinds of responses like the following:
1. It’s your problem.
You have a family problem of a rebellious, self-destructive kind of child. As you try to find help from friends of your child, you called them up and you only hear the word, “family problem”. Maybe you did something that trigger your child to be that person - to be bad. Not helpful at all. If they only knew the kind of tactics and techniques that family has undergone to pacify their child, but of course they don’t. Well, they are setting their own boundaries. They don’t want to involve themselves in such a hard task. They are the kind of friends that just enjoy the company of your child but they don’t care after the hi’s and hello’s. They only want parties or church fellowship. But once their “friend” has gone astray, they aren’t willing to straighten or influence him. Flaky kind of relationship. I know, I wished they just didn’t say they’re friends after all. What’s disappointing is, the finger is pointed at you. You are the problem why the child has gone astray. Easy words to utter by “friends”. They truly aren’t friends at all. If you can’t help, just say so. Stop judging. Don’t add hurt to a person misery in trying to find help.
2. I think you are also that kind of bad person.
About that problematic child again, you tried to seek advice from your own “friend” but he tells you I think you’re also crazy like your child. Wow. Amazing help. Amazing advice. Thinking about it, maybe that “friend” does not have a deep sense of humanity. Insensitive comments only reveal the kind of person that you are. How to solve the problematic child? Not how to drive away a person just to stop him from asking advice from you. If you can't help, just stop judging. Stop hurting people already in pain. How cruel is that?
3. The point blank person.
The person who just listens but won’t give an advice. Or, you told him your story but he doesn’t remember. He just simply don’t care at all. Then, one time you grew tired of telling him your story and suddenly he messaged you, asking how’s life. When you stopped saying your life, he then became interested . He was wondering why you weren’t telling him about your life. Really? Or are you just happy hearing your friend going through a tough time always?
4. No response.
There is still one person who reacts to your stories and very much interested. He’s exchanging ideas and thoughts during your conversation about your problem. He ends the conversation with saying that he’ll get back to you with the solution you need. Then, boom! He never got back. He was very engaging to talk to but behind his seemingly interested response, he wasn’t really interested. He just made you feel discarded.
Have we grown so insensitive of other people’s feelings? Have we grown full of boundaries that we drive away people who are asking for help? Have we grown too selfish of meeting our own needs? Or are we simply rude that we don’t want to emphatize in other’s people plight? I came to a realization that this is the very reason why suicide rates are becoming higher. No one wants to listen. No one cares. No one wants to spend time to watch other people’s back. No man is an island but people alienate themselves too much. We’ve grown more educated but with a lesser heart. We rationalize too much our wrong behaviors and have grown stone-hearted with the sufferings of our fellow human being. Would you even care to visit your friend or family member in their deathbed? I wonder.