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When do you tell a love interest that you have herpes?

Updated on December 26, 2010

Their response may surprise you.

When I was diagnosed with herpes, I thought my life was overrrr. My love life was out of here. What was the point of going out with guys when I knew they were sexually interested in me? I didn't want to tell anybody ANYTHING! So I decided to just be lonely and deal with it by MYSELF. Wouldn't you know Mr. Wonderful stepped from around the corner like,

"Hello how are you? I'm everything you ever wished for and everything you didn't know you needed."

I wanted to yell,

"Where were you before I got this horrible disease?!!!!!"

We got to know each other and he was really cool and down to earth. This one particular night I went over to visit. I could tell his sexual engines were revving up. I was so uncomfortable. I didn't want to sleep with him because then I would have to tell him! I didn't want to tell him either.

"Has anyone seen the EXIT sign?"

Finally it got to the point where I had to tell him about my condition. He was so kind and understanding and our relationship raised to a new level. I've told other guys before too. Of course they were taken back at first... they were scared. I can't say that I blame them for backing off me, but after a while they came back around.


I think it depends on how fast the relationship is moving sexually. Some people may just want to be sex partners and thats it. Others may want more than that. My advice is to move slow. Get to know each other as friends first so they can love and appreciate you for who you are. I would give this advice to everyone...herpes or not. People move too fast sexually...slow down. You definately should tell them before you engage in sexual activities. And I don't mean while you two are undressing ready to do the wild monkey tango! Give them enough time to research it for themselves so they can make an informed decision. The men I told didn't look down on me. They have alot of respect for me because I could have changed their life in a negative way, but chose to be truthful. Take care of yourselves and keep your head up!

Would you tell a love interest you had herpes before you had sex with them?

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