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Dr. Dierker on your colon slash poo poo and colon cancer

Updated on March 29, 2015

This is Dr. Dierker on Sunday morning.

Big belly but clean inside.
Big belly but clean inside. | Source

Colon cancer is directly related to your poo poo routine and I am not happy with it.

Crap can kill you. Pay attention you morons. Do not make me come bitch slap you. Because I will get postal over this issue. Yes that is harsh and the harsh reality that your private time on the commode is every one who loves you's business is disturbing. Healthy families check on each other and ask about bowel movements and that is just life. Constipation is a silent killer more than cigarettes.

We hope we just got your attention..

You got no right to drive up medical costs or leave your wife and kids early!

We got this body and it works very well but we have got to give it some respect. Stuff goes in and stuff has to come out. If it stays in it will kill you.

Am I, Dr, Dierker getting through here at all? You have got to clean that shit out!

I do not care what you do, get it out. Fancy pantsy treatments are cool. But let me tell you some truth.

I did not write this to blow smoke up your: you fill in the blank and make it relevant.

Reality check time for dads and husbands. Pat attention.
Reality check time for dads and husbands. Pat attention. | Source

An average American has 6 pounds of shit in them at any time.

I am not kidding. Look it up. Shit is shit and a good person should get rid of it.

My Dr. status is not in medicine. So that is just for fun --- though I have a doctorate it definitely is in scatology but not the medical kind.

Do not drink more water. What a fad? Drink juices, and teas and coffee.

Eat a healthy breakfast. But pump something with it that makes you crap. What the heck is wrong with hot sauce --- nothing.

Just visualize please.

I am going to do a little preaching here so ride along for moment. You take stuff, and about half is good and used - the rest goes on about a 100 yard journey. If it ends in your colon it is damn well toxic. Now your colon is beautiful, it is a marvel of our body. if you cleanse and get a colonoscopy watch it. It is just amazing what this thing does. But most folk do not take care of it. Wow!! It is incredible but we do not help it out. We abuse it.

This is serious business

Here is the deal. Go see your doctor.

Don't wait do it today and speak with her about the propriety of your bowel movements. Get the lowdown on the showdown with the number one killer in the USA!

Have you taken care of business?

Have you made your significant other discuss this serious matter.

See results

This is just a thought provoking aricle

Here is the danger: Suppose I gave you ways in which to cleanse your colon like teas and fasting and all sorts of supplements, what would happen then? Perhaps you would do a good job and help yourself, perhaps you would even feel better. Can you see the problem? Symptoms of a real problem with your colon come too late. That is probably why it is such a killer. So if I or anyone else were to give you advice on this issue they would at the least be circumspect. Except for one piece of advice -- if you are forty or over talk to your physician about this issue. Get an exam and follow the advice.

Matters such as family history, eating habits and physical exercise all play a significant role in your colon health. Of course the mightiest issue is regular and appropriate bowel movements. These cannot be covered in a broad stroke, for everyone article. For instance if we recommended a nice, non-harsh herbal laxative and this made everything work well for you, well we might have just masked a developing problem and the results could be worse than if you did nothing at all.

Here is a problem you should watch out for. Articles like this one get published. Someone has to pay for that publishing. The most normal method of paying for the publishing is to "sell" advertising. And in the area of the colon this is a very bad idea. If you buy a product and use it without consulting your doctor the results could be ruinous. We are all for commerce but in this area it is not the best course of action for our society. This is serious business.

I suggest you enter the enlightened group on this matter.

Some folks say that their crap don't stink but their farts give them away!
Some folks say that their crap don't stink but their farts give them away! | Source

Rights

This article was written by Eric Dierker. I reserve all rights to this article and desire no duplication without attribution. On the other hand feel free to share the content just let folks know where it came from. Copying it and claiming it as your own would be stupid and subject you to my legal harassment of you. Besides if someone asked you what it meant you would not know so yes it is copyright protected as original work by me. Just leave a comment to ask to use it elsewhere and please share it.

To read more by this fascinating author visit www.thedierkerblog.com, Eric Dierker on Facebook and Pinterest and my sweet blog resipsaloquitor on google blogs.

OK I admit it, I need more publicity. If you steal this content please let me know so I can make a big deal out of it and get some press time.

Comments

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Even when discussing a serious topic you are funny, and that makes what you say more effective. You are right on as usual....now if you'll excuse me I need to go take a dump. :)

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ladies and Gentlemen -- by far the most successful and talented Man on the Internet ---- We give you Billybuc for your knowledge, entertainment and pleasure. Please visit and follow him.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, I think that 6 pounds is from a small person. Check this out:

      "Colonic Nurse: You know John Wayne died with over 63 pounds of impacted feces in his stomach?

      Johnny Knoxville: Why do you think they called him The Duke?

      " — Author Unknown

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I think I went low because even though I act tough it makes me quite squeamish. But I will still work through a follow up as to clean up our act.

      People are going to get wierded out on Diarrhea. An American man's best friend.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 3 years ago

      Lol. Useful information.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Will you please ---- for me take care of yourself?

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York

      Ericdierker: Voted up, useful and funny about a serious issue which you addressed in a terrific way.

      By the way I burst out laughing at billybuc's response.

      I'm not sure, but I would GUESS many, many people think about the issue of their bowels every single day.

      I have been through the ringer with my colon, and I plan to write a hub about it in the near future- I may have told you that last November I had major surgery for ischemic colitis - the surgeon removed 80 percent of my colon...I probably have about 14 inches left. Praise God, no colostomy bag. Worst ordeal of my life, which has resulted in 'poop' jokes with all my friends and family. I'm just so thankful to be alive.

      I am still recovering from it. I could tell you story after story.

      But when I read ANYTHING about taking care of your colon, I say amen and amen! I hope you write more about this.

      You are a treasure and I love your topics. Blessings, Sparklea :)

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sparklea all my best wishes and prayers. It is no wonder that a horrible affliction that America suffers is something we will not talk about in general. So I talk about it. Seems we actually made AIDS a lot worse by keeping it in the dark. Let us shine some light!

      Thank you for coming by and commenting you have added much to this article.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Very useful and helpful to individuals cleaning ones colon is an important task to stay functioning for each day.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      thanks much DDE. Amazing the lack of understanding on this issue. Just the better feeling everyday is worth it.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Geez Eric, you scared the crap out of me! Actually, one of the things that is foremost in our household is that we all "go" at least one time a day - more if we can. In our household (it's actually just my husband and me), we expect to visit the throne at least 30 minutes after each meal. If we don't go, then we eat more fiber at the next meal. We know how important it is to get that crap out of our bodies. We don't have medical insurance (until Obamacare kicks in) so we have to take care of ourselves. Thanks so much for caring that you talk about shit like this.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very Funny. Great way with words.

      People do need to get their shit together on this issue. A good pooping home is a happy home!

      Thanks for adding your experience in crap like this.

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 3 years ago from Louisiana

      Ha! This is a great way to handle this topic. I'm so surprised by how many people have problems in this area.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I just switched to Green and "Dieters' tea" and it is great. We just are not suppose to talk about it. So folks die. Incredible.

      Tell you the truth that phrase "anal rententive" is real clear.

      Happies to you.

    • Dale Hyde profile image

      Dale Hyde 3 years ago from Tropical Paradise on Planet X

      Well, well, .....Well stated. :)

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dale it is a privilege to have you comment.

    • PoeticFailosophy profile image

      Diana F. King-Fyre :: DECEASED, 1962-2014, Rest in Peace 3 years ago from Cuzco, Peroo

      It's important to feed the porcelain monster his daily chocolate.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very funny. And of course too true. Thank you.

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      My initial thought to your info was, "No shit!" Eric, you are a riot.

      And I leave you with this bit of wisdom,

      "Confucius say, man who stands on toilet...is high on pot!"

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I did not know it, but I needed that laugh this morning. Thank you much my friend.

    • PoeticFailosophy profile image

      Diana F. King-Fyre :: DECEASED, 1962-2014, Rest in Peace 3 years ago from Cuzco, Peroo

      I am just a teensy bit confused by something in the title of this thought-provoking essay, "Dr. Dierker on your colon slash poo poo and colon cancer". What is a "colon slash"? It sounds like a wound of some sort that would require medical attention. My grandma had her colon slashed in a knife fight and wasn't permitted the pleasures of pooping for a half a fortnight. The other guy got the worst of it though.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well said and commented my failosophy friend. It is a part of writing my editors hate. Think this disgusting way. Your Grandma could have died from gangrene quicker than snot.

      But I was hoping to capture the notion of "sliced from within". Hey man, I have had some issues that felt like a knife fight while I was sitting on the porcelain throne. Of course I was going for the literary umph of a slash-mark -- kind of like a double entendre.

    • Electro-Denizen profile image

      Charles 3 years ago from Wales, UK

      Why do carnivores like lions have short intestines? So that they can process meat quickly, before it hangs about too long and creates disease. Why do herbivores have long intestines? Takes longer to extract the nutrition and it doesn't matter hanging about so long inside the system. And the human intestine is comparable to that of a herbivore. We started off as herbivores, and became omnivores with all of its associated advantages... and risks.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Keep me in check. I feel so much better when I lean toward the Electro-Denizen approach.

    • Electro-Denizen profile image

      Charles 3 years ago from Wales, UK

      It's a note to myself really. It's hard though, socially, sometimes.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Half of all i write is a note to myself. Thank you for reminding me.

    • Susan Recipes profile image

      Susan 3 years ago from India

      Thanks for sharing this very useful and informative hub. Voted up.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Susan. It is a very important matter that we too often ignore

    • loveofnight profile image

      loveofnight 3 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

      You really have a way with words, if no one ever got the point of crapping I'm sure that they do now. As I was reading this, one of my favorite comic sitcoms came to mind; I guess in some sort of way you remind me of him. His name and show was called Benny Hill, he was hilarious....Be well and happy hubbing.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Wowsa Bowsa -- That is a great compliment. I loved Benny Hill, my mom would call me to come sit in her bedroom as she watched Benny Hill. It was a fun way to laugh about taboo subjects between mother and son. Thank you for this comment

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Interesting and very useful Eric.

      Voted up for sure.

      Eddy.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Eddy, this should have been my Thanksgiving hub for here in the US. Way to much overeating going on --- I can hardly wait.

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 3 years ago from Michigan

      If nothing else your humor has me roaring with laughter.

      The topic of course is a serious one and everyone should pay attention to their insides. ;) The health is in the gut!

      Thanks for handling a topic (with such wit and expertise) that needs to come out of the darkness and into the toilet. Great Job!!

      Mekenzie

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Awesome. I think it was Richard Pryor who said to the effect: If you want to get a laugh talk about taking a dump.

      My dad the doctor and mother the PRN had no qualms about these subjects.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      One of my friends passed away from colon cancer and left 3 small children behind. It's definitely a silent disease that's often found too late.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      An old friend of mine told me that there are two sure fire ways to make people laugh. Talk about poo poo or drop your pants.

      We have to be crass on this subject. I have potty trained 8 children. It is not fun but we make it that way so they learn to discuss it.

      It is so stupid. We need to get it out -- get it?

      Please go tell someone so they can go tell someone and we stop this social chain of ignorance.

      Thank you for reminding me to right/write another hub on the issue.

      Oh, that old friend like to play slapstick jokes with me. His name is Richard Pryor and I really like him. No past tense hear/here baby!

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