How to Ease Social Anxiety by Adopting a Dog

Some believe that as technology 'improves,' personal relationships suffer. For some, it's getting harder and harder to interact face-to-face. At times, this can turn into a social anxiety disorder, where we actually fear live interaction due to the possible negative consequences, such as embarrassment or criticism or imagined (or real) judgments, lowering our self-esteem. Soon, we begin to avoid situations that can bring about these feelings, making it harder and harder to interact with real-time human beings.

What really helped me begin to overcome my years of social anxiety was when I adopted a dog. It took me 2 years to decide to commit to a dog, and plenty of time browsing adoption sites, but when the right 'girl' appeared, I knew she was the one for me, and me for her. She also had a social anxiety disorder. In fact, she was one day from being put down by a shelter in Tennessee, when someone from the Mid Atlantic Pug Rescue found her. The shelter deemed her too anxious to be adoptable. So, she was rescued, and sent to a foster home in Roanoke, VA. The foster mom got to know her (and all her fears and eccentricities), and she was soon posted on the MAPR website with a realistic description. Because of my anxiety issues, I thought we'd be a good match and could help each other, and that is exactly how it's turned out.

If your social anxiety has limited you to e-mailing, texting, maybe gaming, a dog is an easy reintroduction to society. People understand when you're talking to a dog, whereas they might look at you askew if you're talking to yourself. Dogs are:

1. Good listeners: They don't interrupt, and give a complete sense of caring (and maybe a request for a treat when you're done venting.)
2. Non-judgmental (they don't get offended if you swear).
3. Sensitive: they pick up on the meaning and feeling behind your words.
4. Intuitive: They sense when you're anxious, and express concern.
5. Loyal: They don't reveal your secrets.
6. Open: You can unload all of our worries on a dog. (Much cheaper than a therapist!)

As Cesar Millan has taught us, many times, the key to a well-balanced, less anxious dog, is regular exercise. Now that your pet has become such a trusted buddy, you feel, maybe sometimes begrudgingly, but often, happy to take your dog out of the computer room to the fresh air, sunshine, and grass. The light may be blinding at first, but to see your dog so utterly happy and carefree is inspiring - you can't keep yourself from smiling (at least inside).

When I first started walking my adopted dog, it wasn't actually walking, it was more like standing on the grass while she peed and I tried to avoid eye contact with the neighbors. But, from there, we gradually increased our distance to four blocks from home where the park is located:

1. Someone approached me and asked what kind of dog she was. They didn't introduce themselves, didn't ask my name, didn't seem to care about me at all: just the pup. Interesting.
2. This kept happening until I was happily relating the story about her name, how I adopted her, her breed, her guessed age, and her funny characteristics.
3. What happened next was, I was actually interested in the other person's dog. So, I started mimicking the questions I'd been asked.
4. Soon, strangers and I were having great, brief conversations, often with neither owner thinking to ask the other owner's name. It was all about the dog!

Social interaction with no repercussions.

No one wants to get the $75 per dog ticket for not picking up their doggy poo, but the above statement is often heard among park visitees.

Now, if you can openly talk about dog poo, you can talk about anything.

So, over the months, these chance meetings turned into dog play-dates, organized meet-ups, and referrals to great vets and the best dog diets. So, while my anxious dog was learning to socialize, so was I. It helped that all parties were focused on their pets and their interactions, relieving the attention on me.

At first, I kept my human interactions short and to the point, but I found myself relaxing with certain people and expanding to the point where I was asking them questions. I was actually socializing.

And, not to just mark that as an achievement, but I felt more mentally stable and up-beat for the rest of the day, like some psychological need had been met.