Emotional Stages of Grief
The initial feeling on hearing a loved one has passed away
Shock, disbelief and denial can be some of the emotions we can experience when hearing about the loss of a loved one. whether it is an expected loss due to a log terminal illness or a in a tragic accident, grief is different for everyone. Until we experience it ourselves, it is one of those emotions that we cannot imagine how to understand, and although we offer condolences to the grieving individual. unfortunately, grief is one of those emotions that we need to deal with internally ourselves initially. I have experienced the loss of one person close to me and I know that this emotion of feeling lost, disconnected and alone effected me on a scale that I had never encountered before.
One of the many emotions I felt was anger. I remember feeling angry that nobody could understand what I was going through. I became jealous of friends who still had their dads and definitely resented offers of support and love. All I wanted was my dad, and his reassurance that everything would be ok. I had never experienced those feelings before, I felt like I was watching myself from up above, and not knowing who this person was.
Wanting to feel in control of emotions
I really struggled with the different emotions I could experience in one day. Initially on waking up, I really thought that losing my dad was a dream. It was like a cruel joke that I had to re live every day. I cried to the point to where I didn't have any tears left, but that made me feel even worse. I actually thought that if I didn't have tears, then I had got over my grief already.
Finding a new normal
Finding a new normal is the term I use to explain how I cope with getting on with my life. I am definitely not the same person I was before my loss. I have changed in a way that I have been through a traumatic loss and have come out the other side of a very long emotional rollercoaster. Its been nearly four years, and although I know grief never goes away, I have found my own way of coping. I am lucky to have great family and friends around me that encourage me to talk about my dad and also respect my feelings if I just want to have a good cry.
I have learnt that every emotion, tough as it was, lead me to the point in my life now where I can laugh and smile about memories of my dad. Memories are always there, they cannot be erased. My dads love for me and me for him is in my heart forever.