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Diary Part 1 : Everything Changes

Updated on November 10, 2011
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I am an artist, designer, photographer and writer. See more of my work on cmariearts.


Everything Changes.

Six years ago I was living in a cozy studio that I picked with french doors and a cute claw bathtub. There was a window that faced me from my bed where the sun would set everyday.I loved it there. The place had a sweet cedar smell that filled the room whenever you walked in. I would sit and do my homework for my art classes there. I met my boyfriend of six years there, thinking we would be happily married by now. It was pure love at first. We loved, listened to music, talked, fought, and cried there.

The first date was candles and wine. How romantic. It was in October. We met in September. I was brunette then with chestnut highlights, now I'm blonde. I was six years younger and felt like I had my whole life to live, school to finish and dreams to be made. I started taking pictures of myself. Pictures that made me feel free and beautiful. He loved me. At the time. It's been slow and steady. On and off. I wish it wasn't that way. All we knew how to do was fight.

The sun would set and leave a warm hue against my back wall. Now I see that hue from across the street in this building. Even though it has a balcony, I don't like it as much. That year my dad died of pancreatic cancer. I became a depressive mess. I don't really know much of what happened then. It was all a blur. It felt as if my innocence was lost and I was gone for awhile. To be continued...


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    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 6 years ago

      Deepunetfish- thanks for reading it!

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      Deepunetfish 6 years ago

      Nice hub, I loved it

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 6 years ago

      Stessily- First of all, I love your heartfelt and endearing comments! You made my day with all of your kind words. :)

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      stessily 6 years ago

      carolinemd21: The description of your studio is cozy and inviting, seeming like a place of dreams. I love this sentence: "The place had a sweet cedar smell that filled the room whenever you walked in." (Cedar has one of those aromas that has enchanted me since childhood.)

      Thank you for sharing this bittersweet memory. You've evoked an array of moods and atmospheres in the journey of a change which could not possibly have been desired or possibly even foreseen.

      Kind regards, Stessily