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Facing Fear Head On

Updated on March 3, 2011

In learning to deal with fear, the most important fact to remember is that F-E-A-R stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. When we are afraid, most of what we fear is based on experiences from our past or expectations of what may happen in the future. Most of what we fear never turns out the way we really thought it would. If you look back on your life and think of the times you were most fearful, you may sometimes realize that the incident you feared never even took place.

When we hold the fear inside, many of our goals and dreams get stifled, prolonged and sometimes never accomplished. The false expectation holds us back from truly experiencing all we wish to experience. Some people have so much fear about different circumstances that it literally paralyzes them from being fully alive. They become so fearful about what they perceive, that they start believing their fear to be the absolute truth. Some of them are so strongly in denial about what is really happening that they turn others against them. They become reclusive, unsociable, self-deprecating and full of anger and paranoia, in extreme cases. When those extremes prevail, loved ones or friends need to find someone professional or some place that these people can go to in order to get help.

One important fact to consider is that the one constant thing in life is change.  In order to accept those changes, it’s valuable to remember that in order to walk through the fear, we need to take a deep breath. Finding a place where there is a quiet space in order to be able to focus, breathe and clear your mind of all negative thoughts is the first step in helping yourself to release fear. 

Once you are in that quiet space, breathe in, count to ten then exhale. Doing this process three times will tend to quiet the mind enough so that you can begin to hear the self-talk that is taking place. For every negative word or thought that enters your mind, you can immediately choose to replace it with a positive thought. Keep in mind that the more positive thoughts you choose, the more positive events you draw into your life. What you believe about yourself or your life, whether positive or negative, will be exactly what you will see appearing in your life.

Deep breathing and positive thoughts sound like very simplistic steps to take. They may seem so simplistic that many would be skeptical to even try them. Sometimes, the most powerful gifts in the world are the ones that are the simplest.

The determination to overcome the fear, the dedication it takes in order to replace the negative thoughts with the positive and the belief in your own personal empowerment are the tools that it takes in order to make your life successful. Those characteristics are the tools that will benefit you in pursuing your dreams and achieving your goals.


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    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      Hi Judi, I totally agree! Thanks for reading and you are welcome for the follow!:)

    • Judicastro profile image


      7 years ago from birmingham, Alabama

      Lene thanks for the follow. I enjoyed your piece very much. Fear is truly the opposite of faith and as you have pointed out it can be very dibilating. I have often said that 99.9% of our what ifs never come to pass.

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      Ashantina, I totally agree with you. I learned that there are only 2 main opposites in life - love and fear. Anything that is not considered love goes under the fear column. Thanks so much for reading my work and for your comment as well! I look forward to reading more of your articles!

    • Ashantina profile image


      7 years ago

      So true Lene Lynn. Fear is consuming, self defeating and often hard to let go of. Its opposite is love. When all is said and done, we have a choice. And the choice then becomes our point of reference.

      Thanks for sharing.

    • Lene Lynn profile imageAUTHOR

      Lene' Lynn St. John 

      7 years ago from Glendale, AZ

      Motown, thank you very much for your kind words and you are very welcome!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Very nicely written. Thank you for taking the time to help out those with fear/anxiety issues.

    • Lene Lynn profile imageAUTHOR

      Lene' Lynn St. John 

      7 years ago from Glendale, AZ

      Sharon, my friend, you are so special! I was unemployed for seven months and just started my new job on 2-22-11...I totally understand the procrastination thing, trust me on that! I KNOW you will get a job as soon as you are determined enough to get one. All things in their own perfect timing and in your own choice and free will....;) thanks so much for the compliment about my writing. You are a sweetheart, you really are! :)

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      Pamela, thank you, I appreciate your rating! Thanks for reading my work!

      Heart, I like that saying, it's very true! Thanks for the compliment! Happy weekend everyone!

    • heart4theword profile image


      7 years ago from hub

      This is such a great writing about fear. How fear really does affect some people. One of my favorite sayings is..."Action Conquers Fear!". I have made signs with this in my younger days, this helped me so overcoming obstacles:) Great hub!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Fear can certainly be crippling if you let it control your life. You made some great suggestions of small ways that are very helpful to overcome fear. Voted/rated up.

    • soneblom profile image


      7 years ago from South Africa

      You so right, its better to face whatever makes us so fearful to take another step and prayerfuly go about regaining our self confidence. Great hub Vote Up!

    • imatellmuva profile image


      7 years ago from Somewhere in Baltimore

      Just what I needed to hear. While I have received great use from your inspirational words, I still find at times that I am very much like what you've described in this hub. Since being unemployed for (5) months now, I am still charasmatic, yet stifled, and have become a huge procrastinator. Why...I even put off ain't that sumth'n?! I'm going to get it togather of these days! Thanks as always, for putting things into perspective!


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