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False Teeth – What they will never tell you

Updated on July 22, 2015
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Mona writes a column for Enrich Magazine which is distributed in five countries. She is interested in learning as she writes.

False teeth and people keep many secrets

By Grand Old Lady

The first thing nobody will ever tell you about false teeth is that someday you may need them. You will be a child alarmed at a frightening sight on the bathroom sink – false teeth in a glass of water. Someone will say they are grandma’s. And grandma may never look the same to you again.

The second thing nobody will ever tell you is that someday your mom will wear false teeth. My mom did, but she liked to play with them. There was a little boy in the house who would be terrified every time she took them off -- which she did, frequently, in his presence.

The third thing – okay, let’s get straight to the point. You will need them. At first you will get cavities with fillings, then braces, then root canals, then permanent and wisdom teeth pulled out. A dentist will mention implants. You may think they are too expensive, or have heard stories of how they are painful. You will be sick of root canalled teeth that smash into smaller and smaller bits each year as the filling that is more filling than canalled tooth gets lost, say, in a high end Korean restaurant while you are talking to your client regarding a very big business deal.


So you figure – FALSE TEETH ARE BETTER. Ten years of chipped root canalled smidgens of teeth become so pathetic and this, this is the cost friendly, permanent way.

Then you find out the major truth about false teeth – THEY DON’T FEEL NORMAL. Now, what was I thinking? What even made me presume that once I get my false teeth, they will feel exactly the same as my upper palate and normal teeth? Hello, they are porcelain and high end plastic. What was I thinking?

So I maneuvered through a month of dealing with my false teeth. The best thing I could say about them was, I could now drink as much coffee as I wanted and not get coffee breath. Ah, the wonders of high end plastic. I love coffee.


But everything else didn’t feel right and so I tried saying, “this is my new normal.” I found myself spending less time with the teeth (which were in a jar with mouthwash beside my husband’s teeth also in a separate but identical jar with mouthwash).

I learned to eat with a lame set of molars on the left side of my mouth and to use the front cutting teeth more often. I ate less, which was great as I kept imagining I would eventually lose weight. It was a love hate relationship. Then it became sheer hate when I developed two mean cavities on the left side of my mouth.

“The cavities are deep,” my dentist said. “One is a candidate for a root canal.”

She removed the filling, put some great medicine in, and gave me two injections. The antibiotics helped ease the pain. My face was swollen on the left. “Look hon,” I told my husband. “I look prettier on the left side. If ever I had a facelift, I would make both sides look this way.”

The swollen left side, you see, diminished the wrinkles.


My dentist told me to stop using toothpicks. She asked if my false teeth were okay. I said, “Well, I never had false teeth before, so I don’t know good false teeth from bad false teeth. I don’t know a good fit from a bad one. But this one seems okay.”

A bit stunned, she asked me the same question again. Twice. And I responded in the same way. Twice. So she worked on the teeth, pruning them on the edges, making adjustments here and there (she must be a gum and teeth psychic), and it fit noticeably better.

So this is my false teeth story. And to all the young and middle aged, I am giving you fair warning. There are false teeth secrets going around. People you may know very well, may one day show up forgetting their false teeth. Or you will catch them on Skype and see they don’t have all their teeth on as usual. Maybe, that person might be you.

We are not alone.

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    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 13 months ago from Philippines

      Thanks Sem Quantum, I will look that up.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Claire, thank you for the advice. It's true, I didn't give my dentist much feedback. My expectations were totally unrealistic. It's good to hear from someone who enjoys her dentures:).

    • Claire Dentures profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      I would Love to hear experiences of other 'Young-ish" Denture wearers. There must be others out there who, like me, are happy with False teeth.

      Claire.

    • Claire Dentures profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      Mabuhay Mona.

      Mona, I think if you found a Good Denture Dentist, you could be happy with Dentures. I found a really good set of Dentures is expensive and takes no less than 8 appointments and lots of input from me, the patient.

      I admit it takes time and effort to get a satisfactory result, but in the long run it's worth it. Being able to eat, laugh & talk with confidence is the reward for perseverance. So Mona, try again & good luck.

      Claire

    • Claire Dentures profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      I must apologise to you for my previous THREE posts saying nearly the same thing. I never realised there was a delay in posts being published, so thought I was doing something wrong and each one was not being processed.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Claire, may I know your dentist? I may swim over the Pacific Ocean for treatment.

    • Claire Dentures profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      Sorry, I cannot understand your unhappiness with False teeth. As I said, I love having Full Dentures.

    • Claire Dentures profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      Hi there, I'm 34 with Full Upper & Lower Dentures and simply LOVE them. Their appearance, function and comfort are all great. I would never go back to natural teeth nor implants I'm so happy with these.

      Claire.

    • profile image

      Claire 3 years ago

      I have Full Dentures and Love them. Eating and appearance are both wonderful.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Ha ha, yes, taken from my personal experience. Lately I only wear them for decoration, but take them out to eat comfortably. Dunno if that's what most people do, but my brother does the same thing. In so doing, I am discovering the realm of soft foods.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Informative and useful this hub explains in detail of what one will never know about false teeth.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      FlourishAnyway, I wish I had the same love and appreciation for my teeth that you have had all these years. You definitely won't have my problems, bless you. Do you know good dentistry is available in the Philippines for a song? My sister is in the Philippines right now (based in Washington DC) for her implants. It's cheaper for her to come here and have it done than to do it over there.

      Maybe I'll have a photo installed of my hubbers and my false teeth -- kissing, hahahahahah

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      You should put a false teeth photo on this humorous but realistic hub. False teeth always give me the willies. I wanted to go my gave with all my teeth (I am in my 40s), as I have always prided myself on my straight white perfect teeth. Unfortunately, in the last few months one of my front canine teeth experienced a hairline fracture right at where it met the gum (that was my favorite tooth, too, although I know it sounds odd). I had to get the thing replaced. It looks perfectly natural but doesn't feel like my own. The darn thing cost me $3000. The price of vanity not to look like my grandma just yet.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Ah, Woothie, why does wisdom often come after the fact? Thank you for reading!

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      KL Angora,

      Thank you for reading:). That is the most practical answer I have had all this time about my false teeth experience. and you are very funny! I don't believe that a mouth needs teeth to smile, however. All a smile needs is a happy heart, and it happens.

      I saw a beautiful toothless smile once. It was my grandmother's. My grandfather (on my dad's side) used to always play with a tooth. He could really laugh, false teeth or no teeth:)

    • profile image

      KL Angora 4 years ago

      I lost my upper teeth because I used to eat and drink too hot. Now I am desperate on my biggest mistake. It does not mean no elder in my family advised me to not practise it but would I listen them. Now I advise the younger people to never do it. It is painful mouth later and empty mouth has no smile or laugh.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Jamie Brock, if you can get a root canal, you should opt for it unless the piece of real tooth left is so ridiculously tiny it would give you more grief and unnecessary expense. I now eat without my false teeth. I discovered that many people don't eat with their false teeth, they just wear them for beauty purposes. My comfort is, in my very old age when I may (perish the thought) lose the second half of my good teeth, I may have to end up on soups. But then, I would lose weight which is good. But then, by then I would be so old it wouldn't matter, which would be bad. I ramble.

    • Jamie Brock profile image

      Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas

      Thank you for sharing your experience with false teeth.. My mother got a set at age 35 and I'm now 39 and scared.. I've had cavity after cavity.. in fact, I've got one eating one of the only top right molars I have left right now. I have tried to imagine false teeth as I know its coming... Having real teeth all your life and then having to suddenly lose them and get something else I can imagine would be very hard to get used to. One good thing about false teeth, they look pretty anyway.. :)

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks TIMETRAVELLER. It may be expensive but it's really worth it. I spent a lifetime abusing my teeth and look where it got me. There is this stuff today where you can protect your teeth from cavities. You should get your dentist to do that for you, it will take you a long ways off. They didn't have it in my day. When I feel funky about my teeth, I just tell myself the Pharaohs had it worse...

    • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

      Sondra Rochelle 5 years ago from USA

      I have been doing everything I can to protect my teeth, but it has been very expensive. I really fear the day when I will need false teeth, especially uppers, because I have a strong gag reflex and doubt I will be able to wear them. Hopefully, I can do without them, but time will tell. Glad you wrote this one. Thanks for the info.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Pamela Kinnaird W , thanks for stopping by again and taking time to read this once more:) I feel so pleased.

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 5 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      I enjoyed reading this again. Sharing.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Toothy Smiles. I was considering implants for awhile but they are so expensive. How are they working out? These days, I use my false teeth more for beauty purposes and less for eating. I dread the day when the left side of my mouth's teeth fall out...

    • profile image

      ToothySmiles 5 years ago

      I just wanted to say thank you; this article gave me a hearty laugh. I am not yet 20 and I have had to replace five of my front teeth with implants. It's nice to know that this process can be a little strange for others, as well, no matter their age.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Lindalou1963. I hope you NEVER have to deal with false teeth:)

    • lindalou1963 profile image

      Linda 5 years ago from Texas

      So FUNNY!! Thanks for the humor! :)

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Pennyofheaven -- and I hope you NEVER have to go through false teeth:)

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand

      You made me laugh. The advice is sound and grounded on experience. It is wonderful to know. Thank you!

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Pamela Kinnard W, I think you did it the smarter way. Better to have conversations with dentists about these things before deciding...the new adjustments have improved my eating abilities, not as perfect as the real thing but then, they aren't the real thing:)

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 5 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      I had a good conversation with my dentist about the pros and cons of dentures vs root canals. Great hub, great humor and best wishes to you on your adjustment.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Maricel:) I love your hubs too. Isn't Hub Pages fun:)

    • Maria Cecilia profile image

      Maria Cecilia 5 years ago from Philippines

      This good and hilarious, your first two hubs are great LOL what an Impact!

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      I can understand your mom's privacy about her teeth. As a teen that is too much information, if you get what I mean...Anyway, true love doesn't care about false teeth or in the case of my hubby, already has some.

      I think it is important to have a good dentist. I am not very good in expressing my discomforts and always like to give new normal developments the benefit of the doubt. That being said, my dentist was able to perceive my areas of difficulty and resolve them. Although she denied being tooth and gum psychic, I beg to differ.

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      CrisSp, Thank you for your kind words. False teeth is really nothing like I expected it to be, and it has changed my chewing dieting and eating habits, for better or worse. Well, what is life without change? I may soon investigate the world of smoothies...

    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      CrisSp, Thank you for your kind words. False teeth is really nothing like I expected it to be, and it has changed my chewing dieting and eating habits, for better or worse. Well, what is life without change? I may soon investigate the world of smoothies...

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Ha..ha..ha...you are hilarious! Perfect reading after a tiring day. Thanks for making me laugh! Good one and yah, take care of your false teeth. Make sure you don't forget it! *smile* Welcome to HP!

    • woothie profile image

      woothie 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      My Mum has had false teeth since she was a teenager, but she's very private about it. I don't think most people even know.

      But your advice is good: if something is bothering you, say so. There's usually a solution.