Why Would You Settle For Anything Less Then Extraordinary
Don't give up... so they say.
I am irritated, why? I don't know, it could be a number of things, the fact that the weather sucks or that there is a fly in here driving me bad shit crazy. The fact I am writing on this wobbly old desk that is a piece of shit. Who knows, sometimes I get in my head about things. Maybe I need to meditate. Yeah you should to. Always. Everyday, it's amazing.
I woke up and just started to shift my mindset into working towards my goals. I am off work all day and wanted to do something productive now that I have got the time. That is pretty fucked isn't it? "Now that I have got the time." Ya know if I was getting paid to write this then I would always have the time to do this because it would be my job. I would like that. Why am I not special enough to make money doing what I want like the idiots who create eyesore shit as content and get millions? ...Is an automatic thought I can't seem to shake. Is that really want you want to see? Were are all the smart, respectable people?
I seem to have a hard time keeping a firm, solid grasp on my goals. There comes a time in my life where I get emotionally aroused to the point of typing like this saying things that are brutally honest and kind of offensive. I love that about myself, I am honest and kind of brutal. Yeah, hello my crowd. Those of you who say actually say and do what you mean, in hopes the weaker ones will die off. And they usually do. Maybe I should always have this mindset, or maybe having this way of thinking is why I am having so many problems. I don't have many friends because this generation is full of whiny bitches who have lawyers on speed dial. I'm not about that. My philosophy is that one day I will be heard even though it may take awhile. I will never be able to post one of those get rich quick videos or tell everyone how I made my first million in only 5 days. Heartbreaking. Not really, I know success takes time because I am smart.
I will never be able to reach success in as short amount of time as those who change themselves for others. I am OK with that, because I know who I am and I don't fancy being someone I am not to please others. That kind of goes deep to the core if you think about it, like why the fuck would I resort to making myself miserable to make others happy. Fuck that! Those people who post Instagram stories about being rich and happy are not as happy as they tell you they are. Think about it, if you are reading this far then you are smart, you know. Why would you feel the need to constantly tell everyone how happy you are? Hmmm...
Ok so let's say I turn into a frail hesitant person who only cares about what others think of her. I could just give the people what they want and tell them what they want to hear. Right? I know that is the fast track to millions, I know this. But is that really want they NEED. Most of the time it isn't. I could make a scam course promising a lifestyle that will make you rich, yeah... I could. Seems the world if full of idiots who fall for that shit everyday. I could get selfish and steal money from people less smart than I... But is that really helping anyone? Giving a baby sugar isn't helping the child, it is only hurting them to fulfill your selfish desire to keep him quiet. STOP GIVING SUGAR TO BABIES.
I am taking all the right steps but nothing seems to be working for me. So maybe I am not taking all the right steps, or I am missing some. I would hate to think that some things just don't work for some people and perhaps I am living in a fantasy and need to face reality. Maybe I am wasting my time. But I don't think I am like that, the mere fact that I am even spending my time working towards this is proof I am not like the rest. The fact I am even aware of the issues is a good indicator as well. Awareness is powerful.
I am sure you would like to know what I am talking about, well in simple terms, I am trying to be free. But what does that mean? I am not talking about free legally, I already am. I am not in jail, I should be happy with that fact right? WRONG! I am talking about being free from the other prison all Americans put themselves in, which is the JOB! Oh yes the thing everyone settles to drag themselves to everyday for the rest of their lives. If you really look at the common corporate american, they are not happy. They may put on a face, but deep down they are not happy. Not to say that everyone who has a job is miserable, a lot of those people are just ignorant too. Ignorance is not bliss, being stupid doesn't get you anywhere. You can't throw a rock and not hit a miserable person in today world. Look around, at the end of the day when everyone who just worked for 8 - 12 hours is leaving, a lot of them will look drained and miserable like their soul just got sucked from their body. Is that how you want to live your life? I know I don't! So maybe if I want to be happy I should just start ignoring all the problems. But why, I can't do that. You could be perfectly happy standing on the train tracks, but if you don't move out of the way, eventually a train will kill you. In other words, it is true that something you don't know can't hurt you... until it bites you in the ass.
Everyone needs a job right, but do they really? I should just suck it up and accept the fact that I am no different then anyone else... right. It might have been that way in the 80's but it is 2020 now. The possibilities are endless. I want to be free from bosses and having to clock in, EVER! I am working towards that and it seems to be getting further from my grasp the harder I try for it. So maybe I should stop trying. That philosophy seems to work with relationships, the harder to chase someone the more they run. So maybe I should just stop chasing after what I want and hope it comes to me. It sounds stupid to even say, I tried that before and it doesn't work. I learned if you want something you have to go get it, and most of the time if I wanted it, I worked to make it happen. But I also had low standards, since raising them it seems that the great things I see everyone has as only a distant dream.
I HATE THINKING like that. I refuse to settle for this lifestyle, so I am doing something about it, and so should you if you desire a better life. I see people everyday living out their dreams and it honestly makes me sick the way they portray it, like its so easy. EVERYONE KNOWS IT TAKES HARD WORK. So shut the fuck up about how easy it is. It is not easy. Those videos you see on youtube are by people who are smart enough to tickle the part of the brain that releases dopamine. Everyone has a lazy side and if you have the ability to promise someone that they will "be able to quit your job in as little as 2 weeks," then of course they will click on it. Hence, "clickbait." The fact that they won't actually be delivering that promise due to misdirection and doublespeak is beside the point.
If you want to be an entrepreneur you have got to get rid of the current mindset that you have and learn a new way of seeing the world. I am trying to do that in my life right now. I am trying everyday to alter my subconscious, I hope it is working, it is hard to tell; then again "Rome wasn't built in a day." It appears that all my greatest fears are slapping me in the face, every since I started all this work. I have started a multitude of projects that I have witnessed just failing or not even starting up. That is my biggest fear, I put so much work into all of this expecting it to sky rocket and just seeing it gather dust is soul crushing. I spend countless hours making great content and spending thousands of dollars on advertising and stupid membership fees only to come up with zero customers/clients and down a lot of money.
WHY AM I DOING THIS? I told myself once starting all this that everything I put into it will pay off in the end, but it's been years and I have yet to make a penny from any of my efforts. I have only spent more and more money. This is depressing and I don't know what I am doing wrong. I know that I am doing something wrong, obviously. Becuase if I was't then it would be working. right? I need your help. I need you guys to tell me what you want to see and what you will pay for. I feel like an idiot just posting shit for the people I "hope" stroll by. It is like putting a help wanted sign in the desert in hopes someone just walks by and sees it. I know this, I know I need to go where all the people are. Putting something on a coffee shop bulletin board in a busy city will get more eyes on it then in a general store in a small town that no one knows the name of. This is common sense, but for some reason I am having a hard time with it. Why? Maybe I should go back to the basics and print out ads on paper and post them around town. Maybe I should.
I'm over it. No more, I am not wasting anymore time "creating content" for an imaginary audience. I have decided that what I have currently been doing needs to change. I guess I will figure it out one day. I know once gaining the momentum then it will be unstoppable but does it really take 10+ years to gain that momentum? Maybe it does, but I am sick of it. I am sick of looking at my stats and seeing nothing different. Something needs to change. I think I am just blind to it right now, because I feel like I know what I need to do but am unable to as this time.
I can't give up though, as much as I think it will be easier just to succumb to the lifestyle of all my lazy unmotivated coworkers, spending every paycheck on useless crap, THAT WILL NOT MAKE ME HAPPY. But they seem happy, they seem like spending every penny on useless shit makes them happy. But are they really? Maybe it is a facade or they just don't know any better.
As I sit here writing this as warp speed, I find myself most motivated once mustering up an emotional response, I think that maybe writing all this is a waste of time. Who would read it? Then again that is a bigger incentive to continue writing, BECAUSE I could care less who reads it. That is the mindset I need to gather, who gives a fuck about what people think. There are too many pansy emotional babies in the world today (as of August 1, 2020) And that needs to be addressed. Look at the news, everyone has something to say and everyone wants to complain about something.
I know this may sound a little "negative" to the typical person, but when I am like this I feel more motivated than ever. I see someone doing something retarded in public and it makes me laugh and want to make change. If you are like me, then you get angry like this and demand change. You refuse to "settle" for mediocre. That may make you not appear as happy to the stupid ignorant ones, but remember, they are stupid... and ignorant. I am not stupid. I have already been woke and I can't go back now, I know too much. My eyes have been opened to greater possibilities. So maybe the ones who I witness being mediocre are just happy being that way. Who am I to judge. But I am not happy with second best, I can't accept living everyday being ignorant to things and just settling to be common and dull. I want to be extraordinary. When I see people leaving work like a zombie it just gives me the willpower to continue on this path. The path towards emotional and financial freedom.
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