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How to Feel Complete With Self-Love and Acceptance

Updated on August 6, 2018
janshares profile image

Janis is a licensed professional counselor in Washington, DC. Areas of specialty include grief, loss, life transition, and trauma recovery.

An Incomplete Woman

The haunting image of a woman's face is depicted by a puzzle with a missing piece, symbolic of the incompleteness she feels in her life.
The haunting image of a woman's face is depicted by a puzzle with a missing piece, symbolic of the incompleteness she feels in her life. | Source

Incompleteness in My Life

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A Man Searches to Complete a Puzzle in His Life

A man searches to place a puzzle piece where it will create a complete picture for him.
A man searches to place a puzzle piece where it will create a complete picture for him. | Source

A Poem About a Void


"Living with Incompleteness"


How do I miss thee

Having never had that which is

The void I've come to know


Staring at the empty room

Meant for you

Making a house our home


Inside my incompleteness

I wait . . . . . . . . . .

Anticipating God's love


Where are you?

A full image in my head

Yet unseen in the flesh


Felt as a beat in my heart

Close as a touch to my skin

Connected in spirit dreams


Only as real as a thought

Fleeting in nonexistent reality

I remain incomplete as one


I learn to live unfinished

Only as myself

Without reciprocation


My crying soul

Goes on, moves on to live

Purposefully incomplete


(JLE 2014)

Living an Empty Life

The harsh acceptance of what was lost is mourned, while the pain of what never was, is grieved. Broken pieces of our lives become puzzles for which we ask the questions, "why" and "how."

For example, many never get the chance to experience the joy of a fulfilling relationship or the miracle that is expressed through the birth of a child. Others were blessed with the full circle of God's love only to lose it too soon.

Each of these scenarios presents a puzzling void which often houses a very spacious emptiness. It reverberates into the crevices of the soul, whispering the words, "Your life is not yet complete."

It is said that a house is not a home with no one to share in it. As human beings, we find this to be true when our expectations, hopes, and dreams don't work out the way we planned or would have liked.

We eventually find a way to adjust and learn to live with a memory of what was or an image of what could have been, as we attempt to live life purposefully, albeit incomplete.

Wholeness Begins to Form as Puzzle Pieces Come Together

We can find wholeness once we piece together the puzzles in our lives.
We can find wholeness once we piece together the puzzles in our lives. | Source

Finding Wholeness

In order to cope with feelings of incompleteness, one must look deep within for solace, beyond the void. Finding wholeness may seem elusive through the eyes of emptiness. But if you patiently look beyond the void in faith, you will find love - a pure and infinite love which can be expressed through the gift of giving and receiving. Consider the following as you attempt to reach wholeness:

  • Keep in contact with family and good friends.
  • Maintain social interaction through regular activity.
  • Renew your faith and spiritual connection.
  • Practice mindfulness by fully participating in the moment and savoring the experience.
  • Be grateful and count every encounter as a blessing.
  • Love yourself through regular pampering and self-care.
  • Grow from your losses and let go of what no longer is or never will be.
  • Engage in the practice of reciprocating unconditional, agape love with human beings, animals, plants and all forms of life.

Love Completes the Puzzle of Life

God's abiding love within us, shared with each other, is the key to feeling complete and whole.
God's abiding love within us, shared with each other, is the key to feeling complete and whole. | Source

Love Makes Us Whole

© 2014 Janis Leslie Evans

Thank you for reading this poem article. I hope you found it helpful. Comments are appreciated.

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    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you much, Catherine. Yes, they are very interesting images, even a little eerie. I appreciate your visit.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 

      3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      I love your puzzle pictures. And I love your good advice about completeness and incomplteness.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Same to you, no worries. Thank you.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      3 years ago from london

      Gratitude and deep appreciations for your inspirational observation. Tiny spelling error, I believe, in the Fan mail, and could not correct it. Sorry. Hope that you have a great day! Much Love.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      3 years ago from Washington, DC

      manatita44, I am touched by your comment. Your critique of my work is important to me as I consider you one of the best poets on HP. I appreciate your visit, so happy you liked this poem. Thanks for the follow and fanmail, too.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      3 years ago from london

      Exquisite poetry, and truly solid advice. Yes, Love is the secret key to open the door of Delight. Absolutely brilliant prose and poetry. Natalie Cole excels and the music is truly felt.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you!

    • Cofee Mommy profile image

      Natalia M Aeschliman 

      3 years ago

      This is Superb!!!

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, swilliams. I appreciate that comment. I try to utilize my gifts in all that I do, giving thanks and glory to God for blessing me with those gifts. Thank you for coming by to read this one.

    • profile image

      swilliams 

      4 years ago

      Very beautiful Jan! Your ability to express true feelings through poetry is a vital gift!

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Surprise, surprise! I wrote poetry first in grade school and published my first piece at age 11. So poetry really is my first love but I have grown to enjoy writing articles here at HubPages. It's been a blessing for me to realize my dream of becoming a writer. Thank you so much for reading this one.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 

      4 years ago from Chicago

      Hi jan, you write such wonderful poetry. I'm a bit surprised. I knew you wrote strong articles but did know you wrote poetry also. My bad. I'm going to read more. Thanks for sharing poetry from the valley :-)

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Glad you did, thanks for stopping by to read.

    • janesix profile image

      janesix 

      4 years ago

      Nice. I loved it.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I appreciate your observation, W1totalk. Thank you for your comments and visit.

    • W1totalk profile image

      W1totalk 

      4 years ago

      This is a very strong work. The idea of finding that other half can become an obsession but to be without is clear possibility today. This is a great observance of what can be without.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You got it, Faith Reaper, well-put summation of my intent. I'm so grateful for your critiques, votes, sharing, etc. Thank you very much. May God bless you with abundant love.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      4 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jan,

      Thought-provoking hub here. It does seem we are thinking along the same lines here. With the recent winter storm that hit the deep South a couple of weeks ago, gave me time to reflect on what is truly important in this life, and that being, as you have pointed out here, is love ... to love others and allow ourselves to be loved by them. I think that is the key to feeling whole.

      Up and more and tweeting, pinning

      God bless,

      Faith Reaper

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I appreciate your comment, The Examiner-1. I love jigsaw puzzles, too. Thanks for your visit, so glad you loved this one.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 

      4 years ago

      I love it jan, it is so true. I assembled jigsaw puzzles all my life as I grew up and now I put together different puzzles. Mainly the puzzle of life.

      Kevin

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, MsDora, for acknowledging the ultimate void filler being the Almighty. I hope those who believe will get that message under "renew your spiritual connection." I appreciate your visit and vote.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, DDE. It took some thinking to figure out what images would speak to the poem concept. I appreciate your comments and visit.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Greatly written and you presented such a photo one that connects to this poem a beautifully written and expressed poem.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Being incomplete but still feeling whole is a confession in itself that we depend on the Almighty to fill the void. Your steps to wholeness also shows the value of connectedness with other humans. Finally, love for ourselves. Good presentation. Voted Up!

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you kindly, swilliams. Glad you found the suggestions helpful. I appreciate your visit.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I really appreciate your comments, Jodah. Interesting observation about hub themes right now. Perhaps we are all more contemplative during the Lenten season. Thank you so much for reading this hub, leaving a great critique about the poem, and for voting.

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, VVanNess, I really do understand. As you say, we can all relate to it for various reasons. I'm so happy you liked the poem. Thanks for stopping by.

    • profile image

      swilliams 

      4 years ago

      This is a very good article Jan. I love that the theme surrounds puzzles. Great pictures! The steps are very helpful as well! Voted up!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Beautiful hub Jan. You offer valuable advice about how to make your life feel complete. Many people have different reasons for feeling their lives are missing something (eg. Loss of a child, or never being able to have any) but your suggestions would help. I adore your poetry, it is so descriptive and full of emotion. It's funny how similar themes seem to be prevalent in people's hubs at certain times and at the moment the theme seems to be don't dwell on the past or be regretful, make the most of the life you have. My hubs have been focused on that in recent days too. Voted up, awesome.

    • VVanNess profile image

      Victoria Van Ness 

      4 years ago from Fountain, CO

      I love your poetry. I think we've all been here at some point in our lives. You really seem to understand this topic. Thank you!

    • janshares profile imageAUTHOR

      Janis Leslie Evans 

      4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I'm so glad you see this as helpful to your wife, Bill. I hope she gains something from it. Thanks so much for your visit and comments.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are speaking to my wife right now...she is going through this big time...she needs a purpose and I understand what she means by that. Thanks for letting her know that her feelings are valid and fairly normal.

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