ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Personal Health Information & Self-Help

How To Find Your Inner Peace

Updated on May 8, 2012

Finding Inner peace is what completes us as people.  When you have it, you become at peace with yourself, others and the world around you.  The empty, lost feelings begin to disappear and you learn to feel content, happy and live your life with a sense of freedom.

Many people think that they have to get in touch with a newly found spiritual religion but it is possible to find your own inner peace without it. 

How to find your inner peace?

This is not something that will magically happen over night, it takes practise and time, but it is well worth any effort you will ever have to put in, many times over. To have inner peace is probably the most beautiful feeling a human being will ever have. Before you can safely move on into the future with your inner peace, you will first need to deal with the things from your past. If you don’t deal with them first, you will soon find that it takes a giant leap into your new inner peace and ruins it quite unexpectedly

Letting go of the past

Most of us don’t want to dig up the past, but if there is something from it that still bothers you then you will need to do it, tears or no tears I’m afraid.  This part of finding your inner peace will probably be the most difficult part, so be prepared to stay strong.  Letting go of anger, fear, guilt, frustration, hurt, disappointments and even the death of loved ones is important.  You can keep the memories close to you, no one expects you to give them all up, but you have to put them to rest.

Finding peace inside yourself if you have lost someone you love will not be easy, but remember the good times and remind yourself that they are resting now.  They are probably watching over you and wanting you to be free and happy.

Let go of guilt, accept what’s done, is done.  Mistakes are easy made and if you have learned from it then you have every right to forgive yourself for it; you are only human after all.

When you are feeling hurt, frustrated, angry or disappointed about something that has happened in the past, we naturally find it difficult to forgive other people, but whilst we still hold a grudge against them, we still have bad feelings inside of us, so dig deep and find forgiveness for them.

Once you have put the past at rest, you are ready to start rebuilding yourself and the future

Rebuilding yourself

It’s time to start treating yourself like you would treat your best friend. You’d tell your best friend when they look good, right? So tell yourself the same thing, learn to look in the mirror and say “I like what I am wearing today” or “I feel happy in myself today”. The more you can do that, the more comfortable you will start to feel with yourself and the less you will worry about what other people think. Learn to take a compliment, If someone says you are good looking (even when you don’t feel it) take their word for it, “beauty is within the eyes of the beholder” as they say, and if that person thinks it - then you are to them, or if someone compliments your work, accept that it is a job well done.

Put yourself first sometimes

It doesn’t mean you have to become selfish but realise that you can’t always be there for everyone else; you have to have time for yourself too, look at it like recuperation time, time to build yourself up and keep yourself strong. Try to find the right balance between being there for other people and being there for your self. Avoid taking on stress for the rest of the world.

Don’t be afraid of what other people think of you, you have just as much right to be happy as they do, so just go for it and live life for now. Feel how you want to feel about things and not how you think other people think you should feel. Try reducing your negative thoughts, think positively and be confident.

See if you can take time to notice the beauty in the world and people, look for the good in it. Have you ever sat and watched a bird hop across the grass whilst it’s looking for its next meal? It’s quite a fascinating sight. Look a little closer to home as well and feel the satisfaction of all the things you have all ready got and achieved.

Let go of any fears you have for the future, to live is an adventure so buckle up and enjoy the ride, you only live once so make the most of it and look forward the new things to come.

Treat others as you wish to be treated

To have inner peace is about accepting yourself for the way you are and being free to be the way you want to be, so avoid making judgement of other people. They too deserve to be who they want to as well. Sometimes you may not like what someone else is wearing or eating but if they are happy then you don’t need to fill your head with unnecessary negative thoughts. Try to accept others just they way they are, look for the good in people and the world around you.

Recognise all the people that love you and are always there for you. Imagine for a second what life would be like without them and then notice how much happiness they bring to your life.

Listen to your thoughts

Try to spend at least 10 minutes everyday in a quite place listening to your thoughts, think of it as ‘mind housework’ and you want it to be clutter free.  It could be at home with a nice cup of coffee or if your house is as crazy as mine, then 10 minutes sat in your car after work, before you go indoors will also be ok.  Figure out what things make you feel stressed and ask yourself if you really need to be stressed out about it any more, look at the bigger scene, will the problem be gone tomorrow or in a week’s time, do you need to forgive someone for a mistake they made, can you let it go?

You can try to prioritise your stress to: urgent, can wait or let it go.  Deal with the urgent things so that you can move away from it quickly.  If it can wait to be dealt with, then lots of stress in the mean time can also wait and if it’s something that you can let go then let it go.  It’s better if you can avoid having little things niggling away at you, remember it’s your head, your thoughts and you have what it takes to control what it thinks.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Victoria Stephens profile image

      Victoria Stephens 7 years ago from London

      Hi IvoryMelodies,

      It does take time and effort especially at the beginning, but after a while it becomes more of a natural intuition. It’s important to keep reminding ourselves why we wanted to feel positive and have inner peace in the first place. It brings a great sense of freedom to our lives.


    • IvoryMelodies profile image

      IvoryMelodies 7 years ago

      Oh, how that inner peace can be so elusive. And you are so correct in that it takes time and effort to achieve. For me, that positive thinking is something I have to make the mental effort to do, because for so long I made it a habit to look at the bad, and to speak it as well. I have found that even if things are bad, per se, it can still be expressed in a positive manner with some thought and effort. And how much nicer is that for the purposes of inner peace, and building relationships. Communication is the key.

      Thanks once again for sharing some great reflections.

    • Victoria Stephens profile image

      Victoria Stephens 7 years ago from London

      Laura du Toit, I'm very pleased to hear you felt inspired. Thank you for stopping by and leaving some feedback, much appreciated.x.

    • Victoria Stephens profile image

      Victoria Stephens 7 years ago from London

      Thank you Gordon, I was once in a very dark and emotional place my self and it took me a long time to find my inner peace. Once I found it, I realised it was the best journey I ever made, it honestly has been life changing for me. I very much hope it can help and inspire other people.

    • Laura du Toit profile image

      Laura du Toit 7 years ago from South Africa

      Rxcellent work! A very inspiring piece of work!

    • Gordon Hamilton profile image

      Gordon Hamilton 7 years ago from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, United Kingdom

      Great advice, Victoria, and inner peace is no doubt something which we would all love to find. You seem to have a very good understanding of the concept and hopefully I and others can apply your theories and procedures successfully.