The Twelve Steps to Recovery. Step 1. ADMIT !!
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Admit - I am Powerless
Is there something or someone in your life that debilitates you; won't allow you to move on unencumbered or make any upward progress? Do you have a toxic co-dependent relationship that is slowly destroying the very fibers of both your lives? This person may be a friend or loved one, has a negative impact on you, yet to whom, you feel a strong almost urgent sense of responsibilty. You are convinced that this person truly needs you, although it is taking a physical and emotional toll on you. Are your finances out of control? You spend and spend, what you have and what you don't. Your credit cards are maxed out and your debt is staggering. Shopping offers you a sick form of solace and you simply cannot wait for the next shopping extravaganza. Maybe you have a gambling problem or you are trying to convince yourself that it really is under control. Perhaps, with life's pressures building up on you, you have been drinking more and more, in an attempt to dull the pain of your life and escape it's cruel realities. What if you are hiding a dark secret. Nobody knows that you have become dependent, to the point of addiction to an illegal drug, prescription drug or pornography. You keep telling yourself that you can stop whenever you want to, but the truth is that your need for it has become compulsive. Your life is no longer your own. You have become a puppet, dangling to and fro by the need for a substance or activity. Maybe it's your loss of self by being a part of that co-dependent relationship. Your life is spiraling downward, out of control to a certain destination of destruction. You look yourself in the mirror and can only see the face of your addiction. Today is the day. It's the day you face your sickness; the day of reckoning. This is the first step to recovery..... YOU ADMIT !!!!
According to 12step.org, "Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable."
I remember the day I looked into the mirror and saw hopeless eyes, filled with pain. I was unhappy with my life and haunted by the ghosts of alcoholism, painful memories of being an abusive parent and a deep, dark rage inside. A friend had told me once that recovery was for anyone who had a hurt, habit or hang up and on that day, I faced mine. I knew that if I was going to move on with my life, that those ghosts needed to be exorcised. I had to fill the gap in my life, left by years of self destructive patterns. I could not make a step to RECOVERY until I admitted that I was not whole, that I was really a "sick" individual. I had to ADMIT to myself that I could not do it alone, that I needed a safe environment to share the pain of my past. That was the day I was introduced to Celebrate Recovery, a Christian healing program.
Whatever is crippling you, your day of redemption is here. If you are an abuser or in an abusive relationship, the day you admit, is the day you begin the positive but possibly painful step to recovery. You cannot fix a problem, unless there is an acceptance that it exists in the first place. To a large extent, this may well be the most difficult step as so many of us are in denial. Most persons do not seek help because they have not yet hit rock bottom with their addiction; they still believe that they have it under control. How often have you heard or said these words, "I can stop whenever I want to." When we have lost everything or we stand at the edge of the abyss, about to tip in, is when most persons would start recognising their excesses. That co-dependent person in your life continues to be a hindrance until the parasitic relationship starts to destroy you. The problem is that most addicts, whether their drug of choice is gambling, alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or the high from a co-dependent relationship, cannot see that they are indeed sick and in desperate need of help. That help, available for the asking, can only be administered when asked for.
Have you ever noticed the importance of personal initiative in one's endeavors. Anytime we have an individual desire to do or accomplish something, the effort put forward is always greater than that of one coerced into an activity. A child who is excited to participate in an event, works and plays harder than one who is simply going through the motions to satisfy an over zealous parent. This is true of anyone and any circumstance. Look at the store clerk who seems to enjoy her job. Observe the enthusiam to serve. Now take a peek at the guy, sitting at the register, day dreaming, possibly about how much longer he has at work. Just notice the difference in performance. Well, it's the same principle. A drug addict will only walk or run away from a detox program if he did not want to be there in the first place. I think that it's a prerequisite for one to participate in any such program. One must ADMIT that there is a problem and want to get help towards healing.
You might be thinking that you do not have a major drug addiction or something worth recovery but I challenge you today that each of us has "stuff" in our lives that we need to "deal with". Some of that stuff may well be the reason why our relationships are flawed. Remember that moderation in all things is a valuable principle to live by. Also, that there is no shame in accepting that we need help. It takes courage to admit failure, to accept defeat or seek help. It's a brave step that can save one's life, heal relationships and broken spirits.