- Mental Health
There is a lot of negativity in the world today. The media supplies a steady flood of it on a daily basis. Depending on where you live there is also environmental negativity. This hub is about how to be free of it.
You can free yourself
It is your right to be free and happy. You have to take control. If you live in Southern California, negativity is an epidemic. The average person on the street has anger and rage towards anybody who looks at him. Who knows what that source is. Anyone who wants to pick a fight every day with total strangers is a fool. Take a look at that for a second. There are actually people who choose to be in conflict with hundreds of total strangers every day. That says a lot about their lack of wisdom. Even in businesses there are troubled people. In a typical business transaction, not only does the clerk not greet the customers, but they take the money and don't even look at the customers nor thank them! In some cases if you greet them first, they won't say anything. If you thank them first, they will leave you hanging with silence. I could never understand why they choose to be rude to people who came to give them money. Customers can go to another store. It would be much wiser to treat customers with respect. A happy customer would return and give more money. This is a general observation. Certainly there are a few transactions where common courtesy is applied. Those negative clerks seem to be miserable and guarding their emotions. And of course by appearing rude, they receive rudeness in return. After all, the customer is the boss. This is typical Orange County, CA. I am sure that the entire country hasn't fallen to this point. Certainly other parts of the world may have. No matter what others are doing, you can be free of negativity. The first step is to stop thinking negative thoughts. That one step is the greatest freedom. Every morning you wake up with a clear mind, so there is nothing difficult about freedom. In fact, clearing your own negative thoughts is the easy part. Just become aware of the thoughts that you are thinking at the moment. If they are negative, change them. The real challenge is to have a clear mind when dealing with the negative attitudes or the emotional immaturity of others.
Humanity has come a long way but still nobody is perfect. And there is no need to be. The sage has already dissected human behavior for thousands of years. The root of many troubled people is a lack of self worth, or low self-esteem. One guy feels bad and he proceeds to try to drag others down so they can feel like him. He is caught in the realm of lower, miserable, negative thoughtforms. The average person doesn't have the wisdom to be detached from the misery and ignorant behavior of others. It is absolutely necessary to be detached if you want to remain happy. You must live in your thought world, and the miserable, negative person must live in his. We don't have to take the same negative attitude. There are mainly three kinds of people, the pleasant, the indifferent, and the ignorant. The pleasant and the indifferent require no special strategies. Most people know how to handle them because they are normal. The ignorant ones will let you know who they are by their stupid behavior. They are determined to try to make others feel bad. They like to hurt others feelings. Don't they have anything better to do? That's why I call it ignorance. The ignorant people choose to be in conflict because they are unhappy. Instead of accepting responsibiIity, they want to blame the world and interfere with others. I don't know about you, but I am not going to feel terrible inside because somebody else thinks I should. Who are they? Others are bent on trying to make people feel inferior to them, while in reality they are struggling because they secretly feel inferior to others. For years you may not have understood why people want to mistreat you, especially if you try to be a good person most of the time. You try to be good and you want everybody to be pleasant and kind. Unfortunately, this is an unrealistic hope for people. Just because you are kind to people, it doesn't mean they will be kind to you in return. Everybody doesn't practice the "so-called" golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be happy for those who are kind. Everybody doesn't have the same morals, good manners or conditionings. In fact, some people think it's perfectly ok to be bad and mistreat others. Ignorant people don't care about treating people with kindness. They get a thrill out of trying to hurt others' feelings. They will do it every day and as often as possible. You may have tried to love everybody but that doesn't mean that everybody will love you back. Fortunately, you don't need their love in order to feel happy. In some cases they are exploiting your need or desire to feel loved, respected and appreciated. They know that's what you want so they intentionally deny you those courtesies in an attempt to hurt your feelings. You have to be centered in the love within yourself because the love and respect from others can be fleeting, if it is there at all. Some people don't want to know you. Equally true, there are some people who are not worth knowing. Everybody decides who they will associate with. You have to be able to stand on your own feet mentally and emotionally. Just abide in your own happiness, love and peace because the world does have negative, hostile people who will not love you and they don't care about your feelings at all. Muktananda said, the problem is that we are seeking love where it is not. In other words, you are trying to get grape juice out of a rock. Another way of looking at it is, don't seek wisdom, intelligence or kindness where it does not exist. If they don't love you, that's fine. Don't care. You should not be dependent on the love of others for your happiness or to feel good about yourself. If you do, you will be at the mercy of their moods and attitudes. Up and happy one minute and dejected the next. That's why so many people have so many mood swings each day. They are too attached to the behavior and feelings of others. It's better to be totally free of their moods or feelings. You could be the kindest person in the world, and you will still encounter rude and hostile people. Some people enjoy rejecting others. You have to shake off the desire for everybody to love you. The reality is, some people have bad attitudes and will not love you. In fact, some bad people take great delight in bullying good people because they perceive them as weaklings who won't stand up to them. They don't need a reason to dislike or mistreat people. Take yourself out of the situation and they are still hostile or angry at the next person they see. If not, later on. So now you know. There are ignorant people in the world who run around every day trying to hurt people's feelings. They are miserable and frustrated. If they were truly happy with their lives, they would not even have the desire to mistreat others. For those who try to abuse people, it requires negative thoughts and hostile behavior. A person cannot be hostile and happy at the same time. If they persist with negative, hostile attitudes, they will have no joy. Then they will blame others. When they try to disturb people, they are looking for a distraction or an escape from their own negativity and misery. If it is their nature to be in conflict and fight with people, that is what they will do, even if the other person hasn't done anything to them. It does not matter who the other person is or if they are good. Their desire to be in conflict with people is most important to them. Some people are stuck in the Neanderthal mindset. This is described as a crude, reactionary mentality, in other words, emotional immaturity. Those people have very little self control. Just like chlidren, they instantly become angry, throw tantrums or cry when something does not go their way. Some people are always hostile towards others. They are socially retarded. Some are afraid or feel inferior to others, so they try to be bad to prove to themselves that they have some sort of power, not realizing that by acting like a wild, angry animal, they indeed become inferior. They want to be in conflict or fight every person they see for little or no reason. They live in attack mode with a chip on their shoulders because of their low self esteem. They can't handle their burdens and misery alone, so they try to disturb others. It gives them a little relief from their misery and feeds their ego. They want others to bow to them. They think having a mean attitude makes them feel powerful and the last thing they want is to end the conflict. They wouldn't have anything to do. The ignorant man needs the conflict. He feels a twisted enjoyment if he can make someone else suffer or feel unhappy. At first your reaction may be anger, fight back, worry or even hurt feelings, but all these reactions are unnecessary. Do not let the negative, hostile people destroy your joy or make you miserable. You may have wondered what you could do to stop the abuse or mean behavior of others. That is your only mistake. You cannot stop them. You will become free of them from within your own mind. Fortunately, they don't really have any power to affect you. You can have perfect peace regardless of what others are doing. You just have to change your reactions to their ignorant behavior. Those people who want to be in conflict every day are ignorant. You cannot let ignorant people ruin your life. The sages introduced a better reaction: totally unconcerned.
Freedom comes when you learn how to be unaffected by others' ignorant opinions, dishonesty, faults or bad behavior. It is much better to be realistic. The foolish behavior, bad manners and stupidity is part of the human condition. It will never completely go away. You have to position yourself in your mind where you are no longer annoyed by it. It is important to not become frustrated by the negative attitudes, comments and foolish behavior of people. You don't have to feel terrible because of what others think of you. By understanding human imperfections, the sages remain detached from all human opinions. They are indifferent towards what others think of them. Instead of taking in all of their negative opinions, ignorant behavior or hostile attitudes, the wise ones remain above it by completely ignoring it. They leave the problem with them. If a person's behavior toward you is not pleasant, there is no point in taking it inside of you. The sages keep their minds aloof and free of negative behavior. They live in a consciousness that is beyond approval or disapproval, beyond compliments or condemnation. Sri Aurobindo said, learn to look at such perversions of others from a higher altitude, the impersonal one. Chidananda said, to those who are troublesome, wicked, unpleasant and nasty, be indifferent. Do not work yourself up into a state of irritation, or annoyance or unfriendliness or hatred. Just ignore them. Maharaj said, when you refuse to play the game, you are out of it. Lama Zopa Rinpoche said, no matter how much you are irritated by every single tiny thing about a person, there is just no point in caring. You should abandon disturbing thoughts. There is no point in caring about such things. He said, your happiness does not depend on anything external--on whether or not someone is angry or criticizes you. You can see very clearly that this happiness comes from your own mind; it does not depend on how others behave towards you or what they think of you. You will feel how pitiful they are. There is no reason to be angry, no reason to be depressed. You cannot stop people from behaving in stupid ways, but you can be totally free of their foolish behavior. If others are miserable or unhappy, it is not your problem. It has nothing to do with you. It is their problem. Mangan recommended totally ignoring adverse situations in the environment. A famous writer named Stuart Wilde once said, once you don't care what they think, you're free; once you don't care whether they love you, you're free. Do yourself a favor and don't care at all about mean people. Keep enjoying your life and forget about them.
After all the battles, frustrations, revenge, grudges and attempts to forgive, it was a very refreshing experience to discover another world. In fact, it was rather shocking to find out that the sages are not even thinking about negative people at all. Master Lu Tzu said, one knows that one cannot destroy the ten thousand things, and still one does not notice them. He also said, although one does not destroy things, neither does one pay attention to them. Osho said, this is the change: one does not destroy, renounce; but one does not pay attention to them. One takes away ones attention. Without taking any notice of the world, one goes on doing ones duties, goes on doing ones work, goes on living in a very detached way. He said, can't you ignore it? I don't care what others think of me and I am not concerned in any way about the opinions of others. I don't need their votes for me in order to feel right. I am neither worried about them nor offended by them. Why should you pay attention to someone who is deliberately trying to disturb you? Satchidananda said, when you see vicious people ignore them. Get over the initial shock that some people are mean and don't care at all about other people. After you have that understanding, you should free yourself of them by not caring what they think and you should completely ignore them. You have to respect yourself even when others don't respect you. If a person decides that they are not going to conduct themselves in a decent, civilized manner, there is no point in paying any attention to them. If what others are doing is not helpful, empowering, encouraging, productive or inspiring it has to be viewed for what it is, useless. You have to forget about them and move on to your next action. You have to come to the realization that some people are just going to be negative, disrespectful, hostile or have bad manners. You have to separate the good people from the bad ones, the honest from the dishonest. Then refuse to associate mentally, emotionally and physically with the bad ones and the dishonest ones. You have to look out for yourself by not becoming involved with their human relations problems and you should remain unaffected by their foolish behavior. Do not let the bad behavior of others disturb you or weaken you. If you let someone in your house, and they totally disrespect you continuously, you have to put them out of your house. The same is true with your mind. You have to remove them from your mind. Baba said, in order to cultivate evenmindedness, keep the attention on the business at hand, while walking, driving or moving among others. He said, ignore the defects in the environment. Do not spend time thinking about the faults of others. Do not think about the world. Forget the objective world, ignore it. He said, the wise one will disidentify himself from the world. At a distance from the bizarre one hears only a huge indistinct uproar. Can you imagine the freedom in that? It is a simple understanding. Nothing can happen without your thoughts. In fact, nothing is happening or ever will happen but your thoughts. If you see a raging lunatic on the streets, what do you do? You bypass him. You remove your attention. You don't keep thinking about him! You move on, unconcerned. This is the key to freedom. We ignore the faults of others. We easily ignore the faults of birds, dogs and cats but we expect perfect behavior from people. It's ridiculous. There is no perfection. Some people are kind and some people have bad attitudes out of ignorance. People are wherever they are in their evolution and understanding. Don't expect them to behave better or higher than what they are. That will only lead to disappointment. For some people it's just too much of a stretch to love people or to be kind to others. Some people are not going to meet you with mutual respect. There are some philosophers who say the world is a mirror reflecting your moods but they fail to realize that other people are free to be in whatever mood they choose at any moment. Also, bad people were already here before you were born. Even when you were innocent they were here. People already have their dislikes, prejudices or hatred before you even meet them. Some people are programmed by negative reports from the news. Instead of seeing each person as an individual, they judge a whole group of people as bad and refuse to see the good ones. So negative people are not reflecting the energy you put out. You can be happy and positive and still be met with hostility. Some people already have bad attitudes even though you haven't done anything to them. It could be for any number of reasons. It's no news bulletin, but some people will like you and some won't. So others are not a true mirror reflecting what you give out. They are what they are. More accurately, you are a mirror to yourself. What energy you put out, you experience directly from yourself. Many religions teach love and forgiveness. Love and forgiving others can heal you so it is important. But it won't stop their bad behavior. They will continue to try to harm others. They don't have the wisdom or the intelligence to leave others alone. Nobody can stop people from acting rude or mean and there is no need to stop them. If you are disturbed by the behavior of others, your goal should be to change your response to their ignorant behavior. Others may not change, but you need not be affected by whatever they are doing. Some find it difficult to love bad people. That's why many teachers recommend indifference. Indifference keeps the mind poised and free. It's easy because you don't get involved mentally with what bad people are thinking or doing. There is no need to be emotional about them or have any mental connection to them. In that way, they can be bad, and you don't care about what they think, say or do. You remain at a distance. You don't even comment or think about what they did. Believe it or not, some people enjoy conflict. Because of their low self worth, they feel a thrill of victory when they succeed at hurting someone. They have no remorse at all. Some people are not going to mind their own business. They will try to pull you into their miserable world with a negative or hostile attitude. They think other people should beware of their anger or ignorant, childish tantrums. It's no different than a five year old kid. Every bad attitude is just ignorance. No matter what their reason is, it cannot be justified. They are unhappy with their lives and their opinions of others. They want to harm people for no reason at all. Yes, it does get that low. That's how stupid they are. It's certainly not rational or intelligent. It may be a cry for attention because they feel unloved or disrespected or they have a troubled mind at the moment. Others hate people because of bad experiences or what they have been taught by friends or parents and in some strange way they think they are the ones who are right. They are proud of their hatred and that's why they can be mean to people and feel no guilt or remorse. It is an error in their mind. Clearly nobody is born hating anyone. Perhaps the most ignorant of all are those who have been hurt by others and now they want to hurt anybody just to get revenge for the hurt they received from someone else. On a deeper level they are afraid of being hurt again so they attack first. Some people have trouble coping with their own problems. They carry a constant inner turmoil. Man's real enemy is his own thoughts. Out of ignorance he blames other people. This is why the conflict cannot come to an end. As long as he thinks his enemy is on the outside, he will continue to look for fights with others. Wherever he goes, he will find trouble and conflict because some people refuse to be bullied. The trouble exists within him. For that reason, the scriptures say "Be not conformed to this world". You have to call your mind out of the world by not thinking about ignorant, dishonest, or bad people. Everybody will not behave with kindness and intelligence. This is why detachment is so powerful. It can stop the negative behavior from affecting you. Dogen, the famous Zen teacher once said, to "leave the world" means that you do not let the feelings of worldly people hang on your mind. Bodhidharma said, the essence of the way is detachment and the goal of those who practice is freedom from appearances. Kopmeyer said don't let others disturb you. How? Simply by ignoring would be disturbers. Another Zen teacher named Linji said be independent, refuse to take on other's confusions and delusions. He also said do whatever you have to do without being changed by external influences. Yogananda said do not let other people hurt you. Keep your consciousness aloof. Osho said, just bypass them, be indifferent. Maharaj described the liberated attitude as that of total detachment, aloofness, standing apart. He said detach yourself from all that makes your mind restless, renounce all that disturbs it's peace. Be disinterested. It is disinterestedness that liberates. In dealing with others he said, although seemingly I hobnob with them, I am apart from them. Other sages say, don't care a bit about their criticism or condemnation and don't pay much attention to them. Be detached from negative thoughts, yours and theirs. Let go of all of their faults and yours. Don't waste your time reviewing those experiences. Ignore those thoughts. Everybody has problems. Some people choose to lash out at other people. It gives them a false sense of power when they hurt others feelings. No need to worry about it. Your self worth does not depend on what other people think of you. There is no power outside of you. Spalding once said, man's weakness is brought about through making himself subject to that which in reality has no power at all. Nobody has any power to disturb you. Their behavior is only an external appearance, an illusion. It is how they feel. Understand that it is empty and powerless as far as you are concerned. You remain in control of your own energy. You should have no reaction to their stupid behavior. Try to understand that you are dealing with ignorant people. Either they don't know that there is a higher level of behavior or they simply refuse to go there. It does not matter. Your power is within you. You can only feel your own energy. That is why you are always free of others behavior. You are responsible for your happiness and what is going on in your own mind. Their negative thoughts and opinions about you is within them. Those negative thoughts and feelings in them, have nothing to do with you at all. Leave it in them. Keep loving yourself and be filled with joy. The human spirit has tremendous powers and potentials. Every being has the seeds of greatness. Its really pathetic that people try to tear others down. The ignorant people try to tear others down because they are unhappy. Why can't they stand on their own without bothering others? You see it in the news. A guy tries to harm a bunch of people and then kills himself. Why didn't he just start with himself? Fortunately, wisdom can easily destroy ignorance and negativity. Ramana said it has no reality apart from the self, therefore it is easily subdued by the self. He said, abide as the self and remain uncontaminated by what goes on around you. You may be ready for the highest understanding. Ramana said, there are no others to mix with. He is stating the fact that you are always only dealing with your thoughts or words. There is nothing else that ever bothers you. He said, there is the seer and the seen. The seer alone is real and eternal. You saw them, and they disappeared. That which appears and disappears is not real. Find out who the seer is. He said, all present troubles are thoughts and are themselves thoughts. Give up thoughts. Maharaj said it is a mental formation only, easy to dispel. He said, you as consciousness should not get disturbed, because it cannot be touched by any conclusion outside. He said other people are always at your mercy. They are only a concept in your mind. For the ultimate freedom Maharaj said deny existence to everyone but yourself. There are no persons, only threads of memories and habits. No memory will persist if you lose interest in it. There is no continuity. He said ignore the thoughts the way you ignore the crowds on the streets. Lama Zopa Rinpoche said, whichever way you think, the conclusion is that everything is empty of existing from its own side. Your freedom is the only reality. It is here and now. Practice remaining in the present moment. If you look at this moment as you read these words, nothing is happening to you. Don't worry about your mistakes or reactions to others from your past conditionings. Just ignore it and keep practicing the new responses. You will get better with time. Never feel hurt or put yourself down because of what others think of you. Why beat yourself up because of what ignorant people think of you? Obviously they don't care about how you feel. At least have the wisdom to care about your own being and how you feel. Maharaj said, knowing them to be superficial, give no value to your past experiences, forget them as soon as they are over; are they worth remembering? Baba said see yourself as unrelated to others. He also said, be aware of the mental habits that bring you pain and avoid them, unless you like pain. If you want peace, don't look at your past thoughts/experiences. This moment is freedom.
You are free
Once you clearly see that no one has any power to affect you, then you can laugh at the utter stupidity of it all. You can stop reacting to their foolishness. Take them about as seriously as you would take a circus clown, a cartoon character or even a mischievous monkey. In this way you may even develop compassion for them because they don't realize that they are only in a battle with themselves, which is foolish. Replace the word "evil" with the word "foolish" for a clear picture. Every evil act is really foolish. It is a lack of wisdom or intelligence. When you see it as foolish, you take all the power out of it. Then you can view the behavior of others like the sages, as entertainment with amused detachment. You will start laughing at how ridiculous some people really are. Laughter brings a strength. It instantly changes how you feel about what negative people are trying to do to you. No offense occurs when you laugh at the rude behavior of others. Osho once said, laughter should be the only response to it. Look at the whole ridiculousness of it, and have a good laugh. He said, by and by, you can laugh at others' opinions, or you can be simply indifferent. All problems are childish. He said, you become more mature, you simply see the whole absurdity of a situation and then you transcend it. Laughter will change the situation. In some cases they will become offended because laughter is not the response they wanted from you. They wanted you to feel hurt. When you laugh at them, they instantly feel foolish and powerless which is what they really are. Whatever you do, don't let the buffoons get to you. Don't let them pull you down into their miserable world. Norvell said, see only beauty, and ignore that which is ugly and debasing. The hurt feelings or disappointment is caused by wanting the mean person to be kind. The next time you see a mean person, ask yourself, does this person care about my feelings or what I think of them? Of course the answer is no. That question gives you insight. Now you can drop all thoughts and emotions concerning the experience with that person. There is no point in caring about what they think of you either. Once you understand that people are acting mean for no reason, and you haven't done anything to cause that kind of behavior, it becomes easy to drop it. Why should you waste your time thinking about them? It is their choice to act stupid. That's why many spiritual teachers say just ignore them. What are they to you? It's irrelevant what they think. Napoleon Hill said, don't worry about what other people think, do or say. Forget about them. Rise to a higher level of consciousness with higher thoughts. Then it is not your problem. If you raise your thoughts about yourself, and love yourself, you will discover the amazing fact that you are free of them. Their negative thoughts cannot touch you. The negativity remains in them. You are not really involved. Their behavior and opinions are worthless. Their ignorant attitudes cannot disturb you. Only you have the power. Control your own thoughts and feelings. Just remove the thoughts/illusions, laugh or simply ignore it and forget it. Move on to other things. Surely you have something more important to think about. Have the wisdom to ignore the petty behavior and attitudes of uncultivated people. Your peace and freedom always depends on what you are currently thinking about. In other words, your focus should not be on troubled people at all. Vernon Howard, a famous writer once said, be quietly unconcerned with what other people think of you. He also said, do not accept the gloomy attitudes of unhappy people; they have nothing to do with you inwardly or psychologically. Don't make another man's problem your own, but leave it with him where it belongs. He said, just remember that someone left the cage unlocked at the zoo. Never mind what they think. You casually ignore them. The person whose inner life is well ordered is not bothered by the strange and troublesome ways of others. He is not at the mercy of anything in this world. He said, see other people as ridiculous until they prove otherwise, which they won't. There is no need to fear a clown. If someone is angry, hostile or has a bad attitude, it is their problem. There is no need to be upset, afraid or offended by them. You can and should remain happy. Even if everybody in the world is angry or miserable you should still enjoy your life. Your own inner happiness is the majority. Let them be as they are. Don't waste even a second of your time thinking about the ignorant, negative behavior of others. It is a problem that they will have to work out for themselves. The battle is only in their mind, it is imaginary. They are fighting with their own negative thoughts and feelings. If you look a little closer, you will see that those people with bad attitudes are really miserable. At the point they decide to try to disturb someone else, it is a confession of their ignorance, unhappiness or misery. Therefore, the sages don't even think about them at all because that would bring the negative thoughts in them. What is the point in thinking about the stupid behavior of people? What good will it bring to you? None? So it's better to remain at a higher level of thinking. Just stay with the higher thoughts in your own mind. They can't get to the higher level with bad manners or by thinking negative thoughtforms. Once you understand the depths of their ignorance, you should let them be as they are. Never feel disappointed because other people have decided to behave badly, no matter how many there are. Out of ignorance they have chosen to live at a lower level of thinking. It is their freedom to do so and sooner or later their badness brings them a lesson. For instant peace and freedom, a spiritual teacher named Papaji once said, don't keep any person in your mind and tell me what do you see. Of course the answer is "nothing". He also said, don't waste your time, only adore yourself. Allow others to do whatever they are doing. It is not your problem. When you encounter hostile people, Ringer suggested, the rational way to handle such a situation is to ignore it: ignore his thoughts, his actions as well as him. He is correct. Some people you just have to ignore and keep moving forward because they want to be in conflict or try to disturb you for their own imaginary reasons. In some cases, they don't even know you or may have never seen you before. And yet, they already have something against you. How stupid is that? That's why many spiritual teachers say just ignore it. When you ignore them, you leave them swinging at air. When you reach the point where you have had enough, do not hesitate to put these techniques into action. Don't keep wasting your time and energy feeling hurt or suffering because of the bad behavior of others. Many people in the world are never going to stop being cruel or behaving in a stupid manner. Some people are filled with hate and ignorance. It does not matter who you are or how kind you are to them. They have made a firm decision to hate certain people. They are not going to change. It's better to learn how to be totally free of them. It is your responsibility to remove them from your mind and your life. If you discover other methods for peace and freedom, choose the best ones that work for you. There are many websites, books and videos, both eastern philosophy and western, that clearly explain simple ways to be free of the world and negativity. Whenever you feel any negativity arising in you, a huge tip is to grab your favorite book or recording on peace and freedom as soon as possible. Get rid of the illusion or negative thoughts with the truth. Try to get back to clarity as quickly as you can. It's never too late to be totally unconcerned with a negative person's behavior or a past negative experience. Change your understanding. Your freedom always comes from your thoughts or your absence of thoughts and where you place your attention. Focus on better thoughts. You can also repeat positive affirmations or a mantra to lift up your mood. Rejoice. Learn to laugh at the petty, childish behavior of people. Most of it is foolish and ridiculous. Another technique that never fails is to watch some hilarious comedies. Choose your favorite comedians or movies and really let go with loud laughter. After you are filled with joy, you will quickly see how unimportant those foolish negative people and negative thoughts are. In fact, laughter is one of the greatest enemies of negativity. Whenever a person has a negative attitude, reports negative news stories or wants to influence and control others emotions, there has to be a serious tone. If everybody starts laughing, he will become frustrated because nobody is worried or afraid.
Love yourself more. If you really love yourself totally and have respect for yourself, nobody's opinion matters. Maxwell Maltz once said, those who have adequate self esteem, little slights offer no threat at all, they are simply passed over and ignored. He said totally ignore negative feedback signals, opinions and judgements of others if you want to have peace and poise. Ignore people who try to bully you into submission to their will. Brandon said, self esteem resides in the core of our being. It is what I think and feel about myself, not what someone else thinks or feels about me. He also said, self acceptance asks that we approach our experience with an attitude that makes the concepts of approval or disapproval irrelevant. And perhaps best of all, he said, our goal is to have a strong, positive self concept and to be able to maintain it regardless of our expertise or lack of it in any particular area, and regardless of the approval or disapproval of any other person. Pythagoras said, above all things, revere yourself. The Siddha Master Nityananda said, worship yourself, then you will attain peace. One of the greatest ways of protecting yourself from the ignorance, or bad manners of others is to love yourself. Why? Because the ignorant, hostile person is trying to make you feel hurt or down on yourself. You must refuse to feel terrible because of the way others treat you. You should feel great regardless of how people treat you. In fact, whenever someone tries to mistreat you, repeat the affirmation "I FEEL GREAT!" with feeling. Keep repeating that affirmation often until you feel great. You will completely change your reaction and your internal energy and very soon you will discover the fact that no one can ever make you feel bad. If you love and respect yourself no matter what others think, say or do to you, it is impossible to have negative feelings or be affected by them. If you really love yourself, who has the problem? It has been said, greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. You should love yourself so much that you literally feel intoxicated. Love is fathomless and it comes from inside of you! Abide in your infinite inner love, then people can do whatever they want. Whatever they think or do is irrelevant. By loving yourself, you become immune to the negative attitudes of people. You will feel completely ecstatic regardless of their behavior, attitudes, or ignorant comments. So our goal is to clear our own mind, to free our own mind of their foolishness. In reality, we are already free. The only thing we need to do is; don't think about them. Drop all thoughts about them if you want to be happy. If you want to be miserable, keep thinking about them. The Buddha said those thoughts have to be gradually dissolved into emptiness by ignoring and forgetting them. He said focus not on the rudeness of others. An enlightened Zen teacher named Huang Po said, observe things as they are and don't pay attention to other people. Osho said, the focus should not be on others, rest in yourself. You can have peace if you ignore and forget about them. Don't linger or cling to thoughts about the wrongs of others. When you do this you will clearly see it is their problem, not yours. Remember, your peace is determined by the thoughts that you are currently thinking, not by what others are thinking or doing. The great contribution of Buddhist teachings is they gave easy, practical methods on how to be free of ignorance. They proved conclusively that you need not be affected by others behavior. You can remain happy regardless of what other people do. They also presented a way to stop suffering and return to your original peace and clarity. Working with our own problems is a full time job in itself. The last thing we need is to juggle others foolish negativity, and that includes the media. If you see or hear any news reports on television, the internet or from radio that attempts to belittle you, put limitations on your life, your health or your income, you must refuse to accept those suggestions. Also, don't accept put downs or negative opinions from movies, recordings, television shows, commercials, newspapers, magazines, internet blogs, message boards, videos or surveys. Most of the problems and opinions in the media have nothing to do with you. Why are they trying to pull you down into their problems? Why are they trying to use negative suggestions to disrupt your life? Never forget that you have the power. You are beneath no one on this earth. Do not let others define who you are or tell you what your capabilities are. They can think whatever they want about you, but it is not wise to accept their limited views of who you are. If you were born on this planet, you are supposed to be here. You have just as much a right to enjoy the earth and your life as anyone else. You have the right to be on this planet, no matter what anybody else thinks. This world is here for everybody. All of the labels, classifications, opinions and negative suggestions that others have tried to put in your mind to control and subdue your freedom to have a happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous life must be removed. Do not accept any limitations or garbage from others. You are not the dumping grounds. You have to ignore all of the belittlement, negative suggestions, stupid opinions, hostile attitudes, injustices and the condemnation that some people will try to impose on you or get you involved in. If they are unhappy, it is their problem. Osho said, just be what you are and don't care a bit about the world. If you care about what negative people think of you, which is rooted in ignorance and hostility, you will fall into their trap. Their goal is to hurt your feelings, to make you unhappy or to make you feel terrible inside. That's why it is so important to ignore what they think and have high self esteem and self respect. Then you cannot be hurt by their foolish behavior. You will see them for what they are, just a bunch of frustrated, unhappy people who want to blame others for their misery. You will never be bound by their negative beliefs about how you should feel or how your life should be. Separate what you think of yourself from the ignorant opinions of others. Be detached from the repetition of daily propaganda that is trying to condition your mind into fear, worry and weakness. Don't let them project a gloomy outlook on your life. Also, the whole material world is inferior to you. Never let anyone tell you that some object is more valuable, or more important than you are, no matter how expensive it is. If the information you hear or see is an attempt to confine you in any way for someone else's gain, you must discard it. You are in charge of your life and your experiences. Freedom is a matter of being awake and aware of the suggestions that are coming to you. All of the ignorant, petty, negative behavior, attitudes and suggestions must be ignored and forgotten. It is a waste of time. The bad people are also a waste of time. Wishing for others to behave better is a waste of time. Only the good matters. Only focus on the good. There are a lot of good people in the world. It is better to associate with them. Never become so tainted by the bad people that you don't see the good people. On a personal level you can and should completely transcend all human opinions of you. Stuart Wilde said, what people think of you is none of your business. He said, I'm not going to be down in the dumps and upset if they don't like me. None of their little foolish opinions have anything to do with you. They are delusions. You are beyond descriptions and opinions. Never worry or dwell on others negative behavior or opinions of you. Give up the idea of wanting others to be different than what they are. Just be totally unconcerned with what they think of you. You didn't come to the earth to be abused and mistreated every day by ignorant people. If you want to be happy, you must live in the world, but be free of it with the right thoughts.
The world will always have ignorant and bad people. The world is never going to be free of wrongs and ignorant behavior. No one should be shocked or surprised by it. This has always been true. The ignorant people are always looking for a fight. It helps to satisfy their ego, or desire for power because of their inferiority feelings or lack of importance. Their behavior is a sign that something is wrong in their minds. It's not normal to want to attack others. In fact, it is totally stupid to fight with hundreds of people all day, every day. If that isn't stupid, what do you call it? That state of mind is more like an animal or a savage. So be it. The sage is not worried about them. He is neither for them nor against them, he is simply beyond them. Their attitudes and negative opinions are like a tiny grain of sand in the infinite cosmos, of no significance at all. It is totally irrelevant. It has nothing to do with what he is going to do next. Some sages would say that their opinions and behavior has no existence in their minds. This attitude removes the illusion that they have any power to upset you because in reality they don't. All problems with others are caused by wrong understanding and false perceptions. No one can disturb the person who controls his own thoughts and feelings. There is no power outside of you. It is only inside of you. Other people only have as much power as you give them. Why give them any power? Even if you do, it's still just an illusion. It is only a thought in your mind. They have absolutely no power to disturb you whatsoever. Nobody has ever had any power to disturb you and nobody ever will. You have to change your reactions. If you ignore them or remain indifferent, detached and superior to their foolish behavior, opinions or ignorant comments, what power do they have? None. It's like they don't even exist. Just watch your own thoughts. You are not involved at all with others problems, negative opinions or behavior. There is no need to fight with them or think about them. Remember, they have chosen to behave at a lower level. Let them be at the lower level. Also, what other people think of you has absolutely nothing to do with you. You are always superior to whatever anybody thinks of you. If you are affected by others attitudes, it is a sure sign that you are not loving yourself. You cannot be disturbed and love yourself at the same time. You have to make a choice between loving yourself or disturbing yourself. Why would you want to disturb yourself because of what ignorant people think of you? You want to be happy and have a good life. The miserable, hostile, and angry people want to make sure you are hurt, suffering and have a horrible life experience. That's why you have to make up your mind that you are going to have peace every day and no ignorant person in this world is going to stop you. All of the world's opinions of you must be completely discarded because they are not true and in most cases they don't benefit you. You know what is right for you. If someone is trying to pull you down or mistreat you, like Vernon Howard said, you should walk casually away from what's not worth your attention. Why should you care about somebody's ignorant behavior or delusional opinion of you? If you haven't done anything to them, what is their point? There is nothing to figure out. It is childish and nothing but sheer ignorance. They are trying to let you know how stupid they are. If they are not filled with love, joy, peace and wisdom, they are on the path of ignorance. Their negativity is their own misery and self destruction. If you dwell on their ignorant behavior and negative opinions, you will pull yourself down. Neville said, leave them alone, what are they to you? Rise to a higher level of consciousness and you will find a whole new world awaiting you. The scriptures say, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee". In other words, think about the Divine Power in you, and love yourself. If you totally ignore their negative behavior and opinions and revere yourself, you will be happy. The reality is, everything comes from inside, from yourself. You should only be interested in thoughts and feelings that empower you. If you love and adore yourself at all times, that is all you will feel. You must love yourself regardless of what anybody else in the world thinks of you and no matter what they try to do to you. Then you will see that they are powerless. You are always free of others attitudes. Nobody can stop you from loving and respecting yourself. Since you only feel your own emotions, you can feel love and bliss at all times regardless of everybody. Try to reach the highest possible happiness from within yourself. Feel the greatest love for yourself. Don't let anybody's negative statements or hostile behavior move you away from loving yourself. If you just make that a habit, you will live in total bliss. Abide in your own infinite ocean of love and joy. That is what the sages do. This life is your personal journey. You have complete authority over how you choose to feel at every moment. Never let others control your peace and happiness. Do not wait for the rest of the world to become happy and peaceful. Some people may never become happy or peaceful. Be free of them. When you choose to be free, all negative opinions and actions of others, emotional pain and suffering disappears because you never internalize what they think of you. You don't receive it. You never carry their ignorant, negative opinions or problems within you. You maintain a deep reverence for yourself. You no longer care what they think, say or do. And don't have any guilt about it because if someone's intention is to mistreat you, they certainly don't care about how you feel or what you think of them. They don't care about you at all. Remember, ignorant people lash out at others because they are miserable or unhappy. You are the master. Every experience with others is an opportunity to go higher. Learn, remember and practice the techniques. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself, find the solution and keep on practicing. Don't carry any sorrow or disappointment. You grow by observing yourself, programming new responses and seeing how they work in the world. Have compassion and understanding for yourself. Don't lose respect for yourself because of mistakes. Just have a good laugh and relax. Clear your thoughts and emotions. Forget about it. Let it go. Come back to the present moment. Give yourself chances to improve. Use your mistakes to make yourself stronger in future experiences. The solution will be a change in your thinking. Some of the greatest sages make mistakes. It is part of the process of self mastery. They don't take it too seriously or worry about it. This too shall pass. They don't keep thinking about their reactions. They correct the error with the right response and remain blissful. They love themselves even more than before. Everybody makes mistakes. Another method that Osho suggested is to say "it is nothing". That statement will remove all emotions from any experience. You will look at the bad manners or faults of others as nothing and not important to you. You will also let go of any negative feelings because you don't build a minor reaction into something major. Those negative, hostile people are nothing, trying to be something in your world. And that's why they lose, because it is "your world". You can remove them if you like. You have to patiently train yourself if you want to be in control of your responses. Use positive, inspiring thoughts and affirmations to maintain your happiness. Liberation is always available with these methods. In response to the negative behavior of others, the Buddha once said, I am free to take it or not take it and I don't take it. He said, live in joy, in peace, even among the troubled. Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate. Obviously he didn't care what others thought of him. He understood that he could remain happy and peaceful no matter what others were thinking or doing. Whatever others were thinking or doing was irrelevant. He was going to keep living in his own inner joy and loving himself regardless of their behavior, hostile attitudes or opinions of him. The idea is not to change their behavior, but to control your feelings and not be affected by whatever they try to do. He said, when others are in the wrong we should ignore it; I concentrate my mind so as to ignore all of these contaminations and return to the mysterious enlightening nature. In other words, he does not care what they think, say or do. That is detachment. Ninety-nine percent of the problems with others and the world have nothing to do with you. Why should you carry their load of problems and ignorant behavior in your mind? Do you have time to waste on the ignorant attitudes of others? Remember, you cannot get that time back. The past is the past. So freedom is your decision. It is within your power at all times. You can have peace of mind and be free of the negativity or you can engage your thoughts on the ignorant behavior that is presented to you every day. You overcome the world by eliminating negative thoughts about it, by loving yourself at all times and by ignoring and remaining totally unconcerned with the negative behavior, attitudes and opinions of others. You have the right to feel good and to be happy no matter what any person or group thinks of you. The wise ones are never troubled by what anybody or any group on this planet thinks of them. Others can think whatever they want. It makes no difference. The wise ones abide in their own inner peace and joy regardless of what everybody in the world thinks of them. You are above all human opinions. You have absolute power. You can cast out any thought, feeling, experience or person from your mind instantly. It is your kingdom. Nobody can stop you. It is entirely up to you. Most people will not choose to be free and happy. Will you?