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Help, My Heart is Breaking from Grief

Updated on July 18, 2013

Grief and overcoming it

Does grieving ever end?

The majority of us have experienced a death of a love one. There might have been a death or more, which just left us in a state of desolation. We have begun to believe it would haunt us forever. The wounds continue to seep throughout the years bleeding us dry. Our efforts of closing these wounds have never worked. They only have left us into a deeper void of lack. Eventually, we might not speak of our dismay to others, usually because the world appear to close its’ door to us. Our grieving becomes boxed in, as we show the world a smiling face. We become frozen in our fear of this grieving, and doubting our own sanity. In the end the loneness we felt from the beginning has intensified. Is there any hope that life can become joyful again? Yes there is and it will.

Pain of Grief

There is real physical pain in grieving. This is that period of walking in a fog, and your world becomes surreal. It is a miserable condition. This condition lasts until we go through the steps of grieving.

Grief has a hold on me

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Passage way out of grieving

5 stages of grieving

5 stages of grieving

This hub covers other areas of grieving, but I feel it is vital that people become aware of the 5 stages of grief. This video is by Elizabeth Kubler- Ross, who is the founder of these stages. Please take the few minutes to listen to this video and acquaint yourself with the stages.

Points to Remember

- Grieving will end

- Memories of your love one will remain in your heart for an eternity

- Death is actually a rebirth. When a person dies they just are taking off their earth coat and putting on their spirit clothes.

- There will be moments where you will shed tears and miss them. Do not worry, for this is not grieving anymore. You are not slipping backwards. This is common and it comes and goes.

A Way out of Grieving

Grieving ends when we begin living in the present time fully. We can experience so many blessings, marriages, children being born, a new career just to mention a few, but if we are not totally emotionally and mentally in the present, we cannot feel completely. We block the happiness, as we reached in our past to hook on to that love one. Only you can take that anchor you placed in the past and put it firmly into the now. Only you can embrace what was, and be brave enough to take that love and send it forward. You are still a complete person. The one(s) you lost are still a part of you. It is your duty to stay-in-the-here –and –now. You have to take the first step to regain your life. Yes, you might make mistakes, but at least you are living. You are putting effort into coming back into your current world, with those who are currently living. This is where you are needed, the dead do not need you anymore, but the living do. If you fall down, do not be afraid, pick yourself up and point in the direction of now.

Death in many cultures is seen as a rebirth. There are many concept of this, which I will not cover here. In the Tarot Deck, Death is also considered rebirth. The person dies and is reborn into a spirit body, perhaps. They take the love you gave them forward in their new spirit world. It does not matter if a love one did not have the opportunity to tell them they loved them, prior to their passing. That love is felt, and words or none will not diminish it. They go forth carrying your love, as they are welcome by those who already have died. Us who are left behind in the physical world, will also experience a rebirth. We will remember their love and it stays safely in our heart forever. Our rebirth is to carry that love forward to give to others. Neither the dead or living are to remain stuck, though it might take a process to help them move on, but eventually they do, and so do we. Embrace life is the message of rebirth. Embrace those who are around you and those you will meet. It is when we hold tight to our present, do we understand and experiences fully love. If we cannot do this, we will always being trying to feed the darkness within with synthetic love.

We will see them again

When grieving sneaks up on you later

Grieving does end, though it might appear from time to time. Even during those times, we know it is only a temporary event. The best way through those period is to stay as close to your schedule, but include extra alone time. Even if you have a busy schedule and people always around you, there are ways to achieve this. Longer periods in the shower or bath, a longer walk, or even asking for some alone time can benefit you. Another very useful method is to celebrate their life .These grieving surges often happen around a significant date, perhaps their death anniversary. In celebrating one’s life, it might not necessarily remove the pain, but it adds the blessings to the mixture of your grief.

Recently, when the eight year mark hit for my husband’s death, I went through such a grieving period. The above suggestions helped me to muddle through it. I knew this was only a temporary experience. I just needed to permit myself to flow through it with guilt. I have already experience the fact that grieving does stop, and the life I have now is wonderful. This was just a temporary situation, not a setback. I did my best to stay in the present moment, and to remind myself that I will return soon to being happy. This pain I was feeling would eventually dissipate. Once again time would be my answer, yet the knowing I could help myself left me with peace of mine.

We are never separated from our love ones. As a psychic, this I have been privy to observe. They are always around us, but they live now in pure spirit energy. Their life continues, as does ours. One day we will see them again. The loss is only temporary, but in the meantime we have a life here. We can choose to embrace our life by filling it with wonder. We need to stay as close to possible to the here and now. Nothing of worth has ever been taken away from us, and all things of worth, people and our pets will once again unite with us.


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