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From Grief to Gratitude: The Power of EFT

Updated on November 17, 2012
Photo by Sara Biljana
Photo by Sara Biljana

From outward appearances EFT is a simple technique – one simply learns a set of tapping points and uses them to create or allow change. Simply tapping has benefits in that it stimulates and tones the system in the body responsible for our instantaneous emotions and, less directly, our ongoing moods. We can gain strength, let go of some of our baggage, experience a gradual lightening of our mood.

Dramatic change is somewhat more elusive. It does occur to people working on their own issues on their own. However, working with someone trained in the technique, who understands the many nuances of the process, can assure better results. Gary Craig refers to this as the Art of Delivery.

When I use the word grief here I am not just talking about the death of a loved one, although that is the most dramatic and common use of the word. We react in similar ways to many types of loss. To lose ones job, for instance. To see the economy disintegrate the way it has in the last few years. The attacks of 911 left us all feeling we have lost the sense of relative safety we have enjoyed and we have less personal freedom than before as our governments go to great lengths to prevent future attacks. If the person we are in a relationship with breaks off we grieve the loss – sometimes as much as when there has been a death.

Grief is one of those issues that may require a guide. Professionals who have studied the issue refer to certain types of grief as complex grief. In reality, most grief is complex grief. It is rare for someone to suffer a loss, have a good cry and then move on, leaving the loss behind.

Why do we so often become stuck in the grief process? This (and future) blogs will examine the reasons why, so often, grief becomes something that lingers and threatens our mental and physical health.

Grief is complicated largely because there are so many other emotions that are wound in, almost inextricably, to the fabric of our grief. Some of these are:

  • Guilt – we somehow caused the loss by something we did or failed to do. This often does not stand up to rational scrutiny but we cannot shake it easily, none the less.
  • Anxiety – we feel more vulnerable to future losses
  • Anger – someone else caused this. We may even be angry at God for causing it to happen.
  • Fear – this could or will happen to us
  • Hopelessness – we will never recover. Our life is changed for the worse, forever. This can easily drift into full scale depression.
  • Loneliness - the tendency after a loss is to withdraw to “lick our wounds” as the expression goes. Often one partner is more outgoing and the other loses those social connections that are facilitated by that partner.
  • Loss - there is a sense that something that cannot be easily replaced that we considered a permanent part of our live has been lost and we have been diminished by this.

Future blogs will explore the use of EFT for these aspects and how to achieve a greater degree of emotional freedom.

For a description of the technique - see the video below:

Related hubs:

How to make progress with EFT:

Where do these EFT tapping Points Come From?


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    • Harsha Vardhana R profile image

      Harsha Vardhana R 5 years ago from Bangalore


      Gratitude has the transformational magic. To switch from negativity to positivity.

      But practice of gratitude is not easy thing to start, given our baggage of feelings of misfortune and injustice! There EFT helps to start!

      Eagerly awaiting your EFT series blogs!

      Thank you, Doug!

    • DougReid profile image

      Douglas Reid 5 years ago from Abbotsford, BC

      Thanks for your comments - it is a very powerful tool for dealing with anxiety. It not only helps with the symptoms but can help people reframe the thoughts that are at the root of the symptoms..

    • ChristinS profile image

      Christin Sander 5 years ago from Midwest

      A very interesting hub and a great use for EFT. I love EFT and taught it to my son who deals with very high levels of anxiety - it works wonders. I can totally see how it would be most useful for dealing with the sometimes devastating complications of grief. Voted up and shared.