Losing a Child
The Worse Day of My Life
The morning of November 19, 2011 was the worst day of my life. It was on a Saturday about 9:00 and I had just gotten out of the shower, pouring a cup of coffee like any other normal weekend. My wife's phone rang, and it was the Sheriff's Department, informing us that our oldest son had had an automobile accident and we needed to go to the hospital, with no details of course. So, we got dressed and headed out, not knowing exactly what was going on? We arrived at the hospital and could not find a parking spot at the emergency room. My wife, very anxious by now said "let me out here" so I did, and proceeded to find a parking place. No sooner than I find a spot, and walk into the emergency room. I se my wife totally broke down with a chaplain and two nurses. My wife looked up at me and said "it's real bad". The chaplain and nurses rush us into a private room and told us our son had a terrible accident and was in surgery bleeding very badly with a severed liver and they were doing everything they could to save him. Not long after that, the surgeon came in and told us he needed to talk to us. He said he had done everything he could, but was having trouble stopping the bleeding. Then the words I will never, ever forget came out of his mouth, "he's probably not going to make it". Then we just kind of lost it.
Next was the job of contacting the family, our parents, daughter, and our youngest son who is in the Navy, and stationed in Gulfport, Mississippi with the Seabees. The Red Cross contacted our son, and we called for our pastor to come stay with us during this ordeal.
Finally, they allowed us to go back and be with him as he laid there unconcsious bleeding from every opening on his body. It was just terrible, nothing you can do but wait. My wife and daughter wiping the blood from him. I watched his blood pressure running very low and erratic and a temperature of about 91F. They told us if they get his internal bleeding under control they could operate again, but that never happened.
He fought all day, and by all rights he should not have lasted as long as he did. Later, that day we were praying with our pastor, and they came and got us. As we entered his room the monitors had question marks, which I had never seen before. The nurse in tears told us to stay with him and the surgeon would be in to speak to us. The surgeon entered the room and asked us to step outside with him. I will never forget what he told us. He said, "we've done all we can damn do, but his body is just wore out, and he can't fight anymore. It's time for him to go to the Lord". He hug us and said "I'm very sorry".
They told us it was a single car accident that happened about 5:00 in the morning. Apparently, he fell asleep at the wheel, pushed the accelerater and left the road at about 90 mph according to a witness behind him. He was ejected from the vehicle and really did not have much of a chance, but there is always that hope of a miracle.
It was two days after his 33rd birthday leaving behind 4 children and a very close family that will miss him deeply.
Our family will make it through this because we have each other, and you have to move on, as hard as it is some days. The last time I saw my son was at church the Wednesday evening before, which was the day before his birthday. I told him happy birthday, and I love ya! You never know when it will all end, so cherish every moment, and try not to leave someone you care about in anger.
I always thought that when people loose a loved one I would be intruding to visit them, but I was so wrong. Family, church, and friends got us through this. The hard times are when it's quiet, and your alone, and start thinking. I don't know how people cope with the death of a loved one when they don't have faith, and don't believe in a life hereafter. Knowing their in a better place is a comfort you can not replace.
Our youngest son deployed to Afghanistan on January 2, 2012. Where he is still at this very moment. This has been very hard on us lately, because I do not know that we could bare a second loss. So, God bless our son, and all the other troops in harms way.
I know this is not the best hubb, but I had to get this off my chest, and in the process maybe help someone else that might be in pain from losing a child or other loved one.
Thank you all for the ear, and God bless!
Michael Kellum, November 17, 1978-November 19, 2011.