What's in It for Me?
What's in it for me?
Ok ok. Let me preface with this. Of course we do things every day that aren’t directly “for us”. This includes all things that don’t offer us much of a choice. We must do these things. Hopefully we enjoy some of these things, or at least a little. On this list you might find answering emails or doing the dishes. Not super fun, but both need to happen. The thing is, we have plenty of choices to make throughout the day that can benefit us in one way or another. Sometimes answering yes will result in a fabulous girly lunch with friends. Time well spent! Sometimes answering yes means a cute painted flower on our big toe nail. Yes may mean the engagement is on! These are obvious yes’s with obvious benefits. However, there are many choices we have to make that don’t reveal such obvious perks. In times like these, one of two things happen, and often. We say yes for some reason, usually obligation, while secretly wishing we had said no because we’d really rather be spending our precious time or money doing something else. We usually have a crummy attitude at this point, which can sometimes make our prediction come true that “this totally stinks”. The other is we say no without thinking hard on how great it really could be. Maybe, just maybe, we can work towards pausing for just a second longer before making decisions. We may have more yes’s that would ordinarily be no’s or visa versa. It’s ok to take a moment to work out an important question, “what’s in it for me?
When we get an invitation or a casual recommendation, our brains immediately think of a few things; schedule of course, whether it seems like something enjoyable, and memories of like experiences that may have been awesome or hmm not so great. We also check in with our bodies to see how we are feeling. If the invite involves a long night out and we are already exhausted, there probably isn’t much in it for us. Then what’s next is this. We immediately and quickly respond with our decision, perhaps prematurely, or we agonize over wanting to say no but worrying about how we may look to whoever extended the invite or others. In either case, we probably aren’t putting much energy into truly thinking of what’s in it for us. SO, what’s in it for us? It could be very obvious but in some cases, it’s not. Maybe you got invited to something that just doesn’t seem like your thing. Pottery class on a Friday night when all I want to do is watch Netflix with a bottle of red wine, IN MY UNDERWEAR! Beach clean up? I mean I do care about the fish, but I’m so busy. No I don’t want to donate another dollar to your foundation. I already did yesterday and the day before!
Saying no is a good thing if we know without a shadow of a doubt; the thing just isn’t going to work for us. However, if we say no to things that are out of the norm too often, we may miss out on tiny new adventures or feelings that may open our world up a little more. This is never a bad thing. It allows us to form a deeper opinion of what we like and what we don’t. Another thing to consider is what we may gain. Perhaps we will bond with someone and build a fab new relationship. It could be that we put a little effort in where we didn’t originally want to, and end up feeling really good about helping a cause or person. Maybe we actually love pottery making! When all is said and done, there are times when we get hit with slight regret for thinking we didn’t want to do the thing to begin with, because when we reluctantly said yes, and it turned out to be a spectacular choice!
Broaden your view and allow for opportunities. If possible, forget some of what you thought you knew. You never know, you may be pleasantly surprised and benefit in ways you had know idea you could!
Have your cake and eat it too!
It's ok to think of you!
We spend so much time worrying about others. It's good for our health to also consider ourselves. Also, we should take tiny risks that may enrich our lives.