Trying to Have a Baby When You Are Over 40, My Personal Story
Trying To Conceive Over 40
Although this is a story of a personal journey, I am writing it in mind of the many thousands of other women out there who may also be trying to get pregnant in their 40’s. Granted mine may not be the same scenario as yours and we all have different situations and also I don’t know how the situation will turn out, but I know that when I was thinking of trying for a baby in my 40s, I wanted to hear of other people’s experiences.
So my situation is this, I am 43 and I have no children as yet, I have never felt a great urge to have children up until now, and even now I would say that it is not a massive urge that has suddenly come over me but a conscious decision that this is something that I would like to do as part of my life. I think I have to see it like that as I know that it may not happen and if it doesn’t I need to think that I am no worse off than I am now.
As I have not had any children previously I don't even know if I am able to but as things go on I will probably try to get checked out by my doctor to see if everything is in working order.
So the additional problem that I have is that I am not currently in a relationship which is not an ideal place to be when you are thinking of having a baby, especially when you are 43! However, my ex-partner who I split up with a number of years ago, is happy to be a father to my possible baby and I am more than happy for him to do that as I know he will be a great father. We have discussed it and are ready to give it a try at least for 6 months of so and so I will just have to wait and see if or when we might be lucky enough to have a baby.
So, the next few months will be crunch time. I believe I am in a reasonably good physical state to be trying for a baby at age 43 as I have never smoked, am physically fit and am having regular periods. I do drink occasionally but not excessively and will try to cut that down to a minimum. I am taking extra vitamins which include the recommended folic acid so hopefully am doing what I need to do. I have calculated my most fertile time (approximately 10 to 14 days after the start of your last period but depends on cycle etc) so will start trying when that time occurs!
I know that the chances of conceiving when I am over 40 are not great but I do have a number of friends who have had a baby at age 40 or over and all of them have been reasonably healthy babies at that.
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Trying to conceive in your 40s seems to me to require a little bit of extra effort than if you are younger so I will try and use every means possible to make that happen for me. As the time left is to conceive is probably pretty short I need to get it right as soon as possible and of course my volunteer baby father will probably not be around forever!
1 Year Update
So that you don't have to read through all the comments I have put below, I will summarise what has happened over the last year. After 10 months of trying I luckily got pregnant. I felt like this was great for it to happen this quickly at my age but unfortunately I miscarried with a blighted ovum at 2 months.
3 cycles later (one of which was anovulatory) and I had a chemical pregnancy which I found encouraging that I was still able to get pregnant, but just need to catch that good egg that must be hiding somewhere!
So after 22 cycles of TTC and reaching the age of 45 I believe that my chances of getting pregnant are dwindling each month. I know that it is still possible to get pregnant at 45 as I know someone who is currently at 5 months (and that is just out of the people I know so there must be many more out there!) But it is difficult at this age to get pregnant and carry to term.
I did think about adoption but decided against it for the present as I am not sure I would pass many of the criteria that they set, I would also like to carry a baby of my own.
So now I am going on to IVF using donor eggs. Using a donor who is much younger than me (they only use donors who are under 35 but most are in their twenties) would give a much better chance of this working (the success rates are about 50%) so i think that is the best way to go.
You can follow my full story about this on my blog but I will also try and keep this page updated. I am about to take my first injection to line my cycle up with that of my donor at the end of May, then I will likely do the procedure in June/July 2013.
Update 3 - PREGNANT!
So I did my donor egg cycle a few weeks ago and I have now found out that it worked and I am pregnant! Obviously it is still early days but with eggs from a donor who was 21 I reckon I have a good chance. Full details are in my blog (see above).