Healing Depression -- His Way
As taken from the Faith-filled Catholic Women’s Bible, by NAB Fireside Catholic Publishing, Wichita, Kansas –
Yes, in joy you shall depart,
In peace you shall be brought back;
Mountains and hills shall break out in song
And all the trees of the countryside shall
Clap their hands.
The "ME" Today
Most definitely, I am NOT depressed. My friends at present can't believe that I even went through that. Not everyone I know knew of my suicide attempts because of severe depression. To many, I portray a sunshiny, positive attitude. Well, that’s true - I am sunshiny. But, I wasn’t – not always.
Even though at times it's hard, I work on maintaining my sunny disposition. I realized the joyful me results in many positive outcomes.
The Causes of My Depression
Overcoming depression isn't easy because the causes are many times left ignored. Maybe, it is also because of the complexity – the causes run into one another.
Veering into grief was what started my depression. My father passed away followed by two aunts who're very dear to me. I wasn't able to grieve properly because after the funerals, I went headlong into work. I didn't realized I masked the pains of grieving which created a lot of fears - like the unknown and death.
Each fears, pains and sufferings I experienced negatively from thereon turned into helplessness, frustrations, despair and sadness. Because of death, I can't look forward, I can't plan ahead. The list of my fears grew long. Then there are sufferings – from job losses to goal failures; to fake friendships and the humiliation of being different. I also suffered from the hands of cruel relatives who seemed to derive pleasure in using me as a punching bag for unknown fault of mine. The stress of living a hard life everyday for many years with not having a solution made me very depressed. So when the good times come, it is like unbelievable, it felt like a hallucination.
Reasoning to myself that the bad times will go away made me feel like I'm denying reality. For more than 10 years, I felt unworthy even just to wish to have a nice Christmas dinner for my family. Then one day, just like in the story books, the feelings of unworthiness and misery came to a stop. To conquer depression, I realized that my reasonings should come with internal conviction. And, I knew that I just didn't came to that thought by myself. It was through my daily prayer. God worked HIS miraculous healing embrace in me.
The Three (3) P – words that helps me conquer depression:
It's no mistake. The word "helps" is in present tense because I continue on with the Five P to avoid depression and anxiety, as both are occuring illnesses like the flu.
1. Prayer – always at all times of the day be in communication with God. Through praying, the seed of faith grew inside me. My husband Jack, whenever he sees me having my panic attack, he’ll calmly remind me the Serenity Prayer which goes: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” At very, very trying times when all thought fled me, only one prayer remains “JESUS help me, please.” Over and over, that’s just what I say and everything will pass.
I find this site helpful in my daily prayer moments –
2. Positive thinking – if the blind can do it, I can do it. I gave myself the WILL to turn negative and bad thoughts around. I got some steps to go about it:
a. I confront my insecurities and think about my strengths or whatever I am good at. Then, I say my good stuff aloud.
b. I jot down notes whenever I feel bluesy. Then, I read them over and scratch out all the negative words I see and change it into positive words. I sometimes doodle or sketch what I feel, whether hurtful feelings or situations; then redo it into a more colorful or nicer looking picture. It’s a release. A huge release of emotion and it will not well up inside and form into depression.
c. I jog in place while praying or singing whenever I feel anxiety building up inside me.
3. Playing - believe me, GOD doesn't want us to mope around. He wants us to be happy. Heaven is everywhere wherever God is. Any sort of good games or hobby will do or any activities will suffice. As long as the mind is active and in a an enjoyable state, both sadness and depression are absent.
Other solutions that helped me:
Helping me get over severe depression is my husband Jack. It really would be nice to have somebody with you who can love you no matter what, whether he understands or not, Jack's here with me.
Everybody needs somebody through all times, both happy and sad. There are helpline in case you need to talk, just dial these numbers –
US National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
National Hopeline Network 1-800-784-2433
Or go to helpful websites like –
Along with my husband's support, I went to seek medical help. I was prescribed Lexapro and Seroquel; and when I feel the oncoming panic attack, I take Xanax. Am glad I weaned myself away from those prescriptions. Now, the only medications I take are my bp and gastro meds. My doctors helped me a lot get through my ordeal. I also am thankful I have priests and nuns who were able to talked with me, prayed with me, counseled me. They guided me towards my spiritual growth for which I am thankful and for which I know is my foundation in being mentally sound and emotionally stable and strong.
Life is much better for me now that I am on track. I'm in control and when I feel I'm not, I lift everything up to JESUS. I pray, I tell Jesus what bothers me, making me scared, or just about anything that triggers an anxiety attack and depression. I realized it is His way that healed me. He sent me people support, the right medications and of course His Holy Spirit enlightened me to exercise my will -- the yearning of healing. So am healed.