ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My injury has been serious for too long...

Updated on May 5, 2016

I can't believe this really is my humerus fracture!

When I fell the head of my humerus  (the ball part of the arm)  fractured and chipped out a piece of bone.
When I fell the head of my humerus (the ball part of the arm) fractured and chipped out a piece of bone.

Dishing up the humour has turned things around for me

I created some 'Top Tips' after fracturing my right shoulder. Everyday chores had become difficult with my right arm in a sling. It was whilst I was chasing my unwashed cereal bowl around the sink with the dish brush that I was suddenly struck by the humour within the seriousness of my situation.

I hope you enjoy a laugh with me and I apologise if anyone wanted actual advice. (A quick search on google will furnish you with a wealth of advice).

Maralin’s Top Tips for being independent with a shoulder sling:

1) Position laundry basket at bottom of stairs and drop dirty laundry into it from the landing. Score yourself 10 for a direct hit, 2 for a miss, 12 for laundry on the top of a door or underwear on husband’s head.

2) Make your accident more exciting, I tell people… ‘I slipped on the decking (true)….whilst gesticulating to the helmsman that I had an salty eyelash in my eye just as the spinnaker pushed a little leeward and I lost my balance’.

3) Create a ‘leaning tower of Pisa art sculpture’ as you stack up the dishes; sure beats chasing a bowl around the sink with one arm!

4) Wear your top with one arm hanging loose. Great for swatting those pesky fly’s and wasps with, but the spinning around to build up momentum takes some practice!

5) Sleep in the t shirt you want to wear the next day (grunge style), trumps going out in your nightie and running the risk of being returned to the old folk’s home.

6) Leave the hoover out; so it looks ‘just done’ and sweep all the mess into a dark corner.

7) Use a wooden spatula to scratch your difficult to reach itchy bits with (but wash it after use).

Finally, when your visitors arrive they can help: retrieve your knickers from the tops of the doors, marvel at your nautical heroics, admire your modern attempt at art and pick the dead wasps out of your hair.

It's not haute coutre but it doesn't matter

It's important not to get stressed out about how you look. I usually like to look my best when I go out, but I have learned to prioritise what is important. Comfort and practicality are top of my list right now.

Currently, I am wearing a top that I have been in since yesterday, due to my husband being abroad with work. This is teamed with his shorts (as they have a velcro opening). What I really need is a T-shirt that has the caption 'I have really good fashion sense, I am just too lame to prove it!'. Seriously, I have found that the easiest clothes to wear are leggings and a shirt. The leggings pull on and off easily for the toilet, whilst the shirt does not have to go over the head and can be eased gently on, bad arm first.

I am hoping that at my next x-ray I am giving gentle exercises/physio so I can get to the point where I can start dressing and showering myself. This will be a huge step for me where independence is concerned. My husband works away and I wasn't brave enough to ask my friends to dress/undress me.

Having your hair in a bob makes it easier to manage

It's impossible to style your hair in a sling, so having a simple hairstyle makes things easier.
It's impossible to style your hair in a sling, so having a simple hairstyle makes things easier.

Last time someone tied up my shoes or cut up my food I was five!

It's incredibly challenging using just your left arm to do stuff, like going to the toilet, washing your hair, cutting up your food and even having someone tie up your shoe laces again!. The biggest problem I have is getting dressed in the morning as I can't move my arm from the shoulder to the elbow, so I either stay in my nightie all day or go to bed in my t-shirt and stay in it until my husband comes home.
I can't lift things into the cooker, so consequently we have to eat a lot of salads. This is great really as I haven't been to the gym since the accident. I could go and ride the bikes, I am too frightened that I might lose balance and topple off! Of course I could do one arm sit ups, but I couldn't do them before the injury so I am hardly likely to start now.

The sole purpose of my blog is to inject some humour into the situation, so that other people in a similar situation can read something that will make them smile for a while. It doesn't mean that I do not know what real pain is as I have suffered intense pain, firstly from the actual injury itself, then secondly from muscle spasms and even unconsciousness. I just found that its too easy to get weighed down by the problem and light relief is a good tonic. I believe that a good state of mind can be so powerful.

I am an artist ( and I am unable to paint at all, but I can type - which is why I decided to be creative in a different way. You have to think 'outside the box' as it's important to keep your mind occupied.

I have enjoyed watching 'happy' tv like romcoms, reading fast paced thrillers, going for walks and having 'happy' friends pop over as it all helps you keep a positive state of mind. This has lifted my spirits and is getting me on the road to recovery.

Finally, something to make you smile...

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)