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My injury has been serious for too long...

Updated on May 5, 2016

I can't believe this really is my humerus fracture!

When I fell the head of my humerus  (the ball part of the arm)  fractured and chipped out a piece of bone.
When I fell the head of my humerus (the ball part of the arm) fractured and chipped out a piece of bone.

Dishing up the humour has turned things around for me

I created some 'Top Tips' after fracturing my right shoulder. Everyday chores had become difficult with my right arm in a sling. It was whilst I was chasing my unwashed cereal bowl around the sink with the dish brush that I was suddenly struck by the humour within the seriousness of my situation.

I hope you enjoy a laugh with me and I apologise if anyone wanted actual advice. (A quick search on google will furnish you with a wealth of advice).

Maralin’s Top Tips for being independent with a shoulder sling:

1) Position laundry basket at bottom of stairs and drop dirty laundry into it from the landing. Score yourself 10 for a direct hit, 2 for a miss, 12 for laundry on the top of a door or underwear on husband’s head.

2) Make your accident more exciting, I tell people… ‘I slipped on the decking (true)….whilst gesticulating to the helmsman that I had an salty eyelash in my eye just as the spinnaker pushed a little leeward and I lost my balance’.

3) Create a ‘leaning tower of Pisa art sculpture’ as you stack up the dishes; sure beats chasing a bowl around the sink with one arm!

4) Wear your top with one arm hanging loose. Great for swatting those pesky fly’s and wasps with, but the spinning around to build up momentum takes some practice!

5) Sleep in the t shirt you want to wear the next day (grunge style), trumps going out in your nightie and running the risk of being returned to the old folk’s home.

6) Leave the hoover out; so it looks ‘just done’ and sweep all the mess into a dark corner.

7) Use a wooden spatula to scratch your difficult to reach itchy bits with (but wash it after use).

Finally, when your visitors arrive they can help: retrieve your knickers from the tops of the doors, marvel at your nautical heroics, admire your modern attempt at art and pick the dead wasps out of your hair.

It's not haute coutre but it doesn't matter

It's important not to get stressed out about how you look. I usually like to look my best when I go out, but I have learned to prioritise what is important. Comfort and practicality are top of my list right now.

Currently, I am wearing a top that I have been in since yesterday, due to my husband being abroad with work. This is teamed with his shorts (as they have a velcro opening). What I really need is a T-shirt that has the caption 'I have really good fashion sense, I am just too lame to prove it!'. Seriously, I have found that the easiest clothes to wear are leggings and a shirt. The leggings pull on and off easily for the toilet, whilst the shirt does not have to go over the head and can be eased gently on, bad arm first.

I am hoping that at my next x-ray I am giving gentle exercises/physio so I can get to the point where I can start dressing and showering myself. This will be a huge step for me where independence is concerned. My husband works away and I wasn't brave enough to ask my friends to dress/undress me.

Having your hair in a bob makes it easier to manage

It's impossible to style your hair in a sling, so having a simple hairstyle makes things easier.
It's impossible to style your hair in a sling, so having a simple hairstyle makes things easier.

Last time someone tied up my shoes or cut up my food I was five!

It's incredibly challenging using just your left arm to do stuff, like going to the toilet, washing your hair, cutting up your food and even having someone tie up your shoe laces again!. The biggest problem I have is getting dressed in the morning as I can't move my arm from the shoulder to the elbow, so I either stay in my nightie all day or go to bed in my t-shirt and stay in it until my husband comes home.
I can't lift things into the cooker, so consequently we have to eat a lot of salads. This is great really as I haven't been to the gym since the accident. I could go and ride the bikes, I am too frightened that I might lose balance and topple off! Of course I could do one arm sit ups, but I couldn't do them before the injury so I am hardly likely to start now.

The sole purpose of my blog is to inject some humour into the situation, so that other people in a similar situation can read something that will make them smile for a while. It doesn't mean that I do not know what real pain is as I have suffered intense pain, firstly from the actual injury itself, then secondly from muscle spasms and even unconsciousness. I just found that its too easy to get weighed down by the problem and light relief is a good tonic. I believe that a good state of mind can be so powerful.

I am an artist ( and I am unable to paint at all, but I can type - which is why I decided to be creative in a different way. You have to think 'outside the box' as it's important to keep your mind occupied.

I have enjoyed watching 'happy' tv like romcoms, reading fast paced thrillers, going for walks and having 'happy' friends pop over as it all helps you keep a positive state of mind. This has lifted my spirits and is getting me on the road to recovery.

Finally, something to make you smile...

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"


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