10 Helpful Tips to Survive Criticism

10 Helpful Tips For Dealing With Critical People
- Don't take the criticism personally. Remember it's not about you at all. It's about the one who is being critical.
- Control your temper and try not to get angry. Anger only fuels the fire and gives the other person more power. Once they learn how to "push your buttons" - they will do it again and again. You must stay in control at all times.
- Don't react and do not take part in an argument. It won't do any good at all. It's a game and you can make a choice not to play the game.
- To keep a person from getting under your skin, simply smile. Continue on with the conversation if you wish, but remain indifferent and don't get all flustered.This will help to put you in control and the person doing the criticizing will soon get the message and stop.
- Don't be in a hurry to respond to criticism. By replying fast you give more power to that person. Sometimes it's even better not to reply at all. This leaves the other person wondering about what they've said and they even wonder if their comment was totally worthless.
- Don't try to defend yourself or your point of view when you do reply. By putting yourself in a defensive position you're stuck there and it's almost impossible to escape
- Move on and exit gracefully.
- Keep a high level of self-esteem. Don't allow the experience to damage your self-confidence.
- To escape criticism, say nothing, be nothing, do nothing.
- And this is a tough one, but you will grow in character as you practice doing this: Be kind to critical people. This may be the most challenging of all. Remind yourself often that they really do need to feel loved. Even if they reject it again and again.
Most of us are mirrors of how we feel about ourselves. We can't hide from our true belief system.
Why It's Not Ok To Be Critical
While it can be completely normal to criticize others once in a while, when we 'cross the line' and become constantly critical or resort to harshness, it becomes destructive.
I have a sister that means the world to me. But her critical and negative attitude keep our relationship from being all that it could be. It seems like the more positive I am, the more negative and critical she becomes. She doesn't even realize she's like this.
I think most of us have met people who are overly critical and wonder why they have this attitude. Such people rarely, if ever, encourage or compliment others. It just isn't within their nature. It's sad because critical people have a hard time maintaining friendships. Billy Graham said that this type of attitude( being critical) is wrong because it is based on pride. In other words, this is an attitude of " I think I'm better than you are. " And you can fill in the blanks with words like smarter, richer, prettier, more handsome, wiser, more successful and on and on. Nothing very humble about this kind of self-serving thinking.
When we are critical, instead of concentrating on our own faults we're preoccupied with the shortcomings of others. In fact most people who tear down other people rarely even admit to themselves that they may be wrong or make a mistake.
When you run into a person who is overly critical of others, just keep in mind that they are unhappy with themselves. And that unhappiness spreads it's projected state onto others. And try as you may, you cannot change their agenda.
Being critical is rude, negative, selfish, destructive, manipulating, discouraging and rarely justified.

Why People Are Critical In The First Place
Understanding why someone is being critical and intolerant is the first step to dealing with critical people. The ability to understand acts as a "buffer" between your immediate urge to react emotionally and to stop and think before you speak.
Another reason some people are so critical is they lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem. This may be hard to believe because they come across as a know-it-all but it's true. They overcompensate and become quite critical. If they can find something to find fault with in someone else, they feel better about themselves.
Also, remember that critical people are usually angry people. They won't admit it either. Most people who are narcissistic have low levels of self esteem and need to cleverly be critical of others. You'll also find that there is a great deal of 'jealousy of others' in a critical person so keep this in mind. This type of person lives in a state of general unhappiness. They are longing for love but may not know it.
Are you beginning to see how you can deal with critical people knowing all this? I hope so because it's not really about you - it's about them.
A quote that comes to mind is "To the pure, all things are pure."
More Reading To Help Deal With Difficult Situations.
- About Using Hurtful Words Are Life Altering - Damaging - Plus Quotes
How words can penetrate the human soul teaches us the impact of even one word. Do we know how we come across to others? - http://vocalcoach.hubpages.com/_1ictfyqvgguwn/hub/Words-That-Penetrate-The-Human-Soul
- How to Cope With Being Blamed For Something You Didn't Do
Learn how to cope with being blamed for something you didn't do with new strategies for dealing with blamers. Discover the body language of liars and deception. Learn to identify NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Tips on what to do when it's n
Which of These Quotes Do You Agree With?
- He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help. - Abraham Lincoln
- Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. - Benjamin Franklin
- Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
- You have to understand that people that are hurting are going to criticize. - George H. W. Bush
- Anyone can negatively criticize - it is the cheapest of all comment because it requires not a modicum of the effort that suggestion requires. - Chuck Jones
- And if you must criticize, think about this good quote by Mary Kay Ash .
"Criticize the act, not the person."
For A Happier Life Consider These 9 Actions
- Before you speak, listen.
- Before you write, think.
- Before you spend, earn.
- Before you invest, investigate.
- Before you criticize, wait.
- Before you pray, forgive.
- Before you quit, try.
- Before you retire, save.
- Before you die, give.
William Arthur Ward quotes (American dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher)
In Conclusion ~
My Daddy always taught me not to gossip and to be kind when speaking to others. He'd say " Audrey June, if you can't say something nice to other people, then don't say anything at all. " I've always tried to live up to this teaching. I know there have been times when in the heat of the moment I've failed to do so.
The tone of the voice is another thing to watch when we correct someone. We may not set out to sound critical but the way we speak can come across as arrogant and critical.
As a teacher of The Performing Arts, I'm careful of the way I instruct others. I have my own set of principles about correcting students. I have avoided being harsh and critical at all cost. I prefer to "guide" the student to analyzing the problem or mistake and correcting it immediately, thereby praising the singer, actor or pianist for their action. The reward becomes theirs - they own it and have succeeded. This builds a higher level of self-esteem.
One of the most difficult roles to be placed in and not use harshness and criticism is that of a director of a play or musical. I've worked in musicals all my life and have learned to appreciate how hard directors work.
I witnessed my own daughter, rusticliving, a respected director of musical theatre directing her cast in a rehearsal for her up-and-coming production of the musical "Clue." In each scene there were of course mistakes made of one kind or the other. But never once did she embarrass any member of the cast by being critical. Yet she was able to make corrections which resulted in excellent results. How did she manage to accomplish this? Totally through humor. A wonderful, quick sense of humor is a gift and a great, soft way to replace harsh criticism. She is the supreme example of how to instill, teach and inspire and remain professional.
Change equals personal growth. Learning how to put this information into practice requires having an open mind as well as using these tips for self-training. Words are powerful and can inspire or destroy. Begin now to honor yourself first and then you'll know how to honor your fellowmen.

Handling Criticism Poll
How do you handle criticism?
© 2013 Audrey Hunt
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Comments
Very nice article sir
Nice tips. These people are suffering from some sort of inferiority complex and not only do I not react, I try to avoid them as much as possible.
oh beautifully made...
dealing with critical people seems like a daily task we have to do..ans yes i can definitely relate to your experience of having a sister with such attitude...
This is an excellent hub! Voted up & shared. The vlog says if you listen to your critics, you'll never accomplish anything in life. This is so true! - He also brings out the tall poppy syndrome where people try to cut you down when you are excelling at something. I've never heard of this scenario before but that is so true. I really believe that people who are overly critical are suffering from some sort of disease of the mind. - Like you said, they are usually angry people. Your advise of staying in control is so useful when dealing with those who constantly tear us down. I'm looking forward to more of your writing. Great hub! Sincerely, Mel
Good and informative.
This is a wonderful hub Audrey, full of great information for dealing with serial criticisers. As you say they are usually insecure and trying to hide it in the only way they know how. It is usually the things they dislike about themselves that they criticize about others. I just read a hub with a similar theme about "One-up Kings", people who have always done things better or more often them you, so there seems to a message in this for us all. Voted up.
I mustn't miss any more hubs, especially those written by my favorite people. I've resigned myself to knowing I shall be playing "catch-up" for the balance of my life. Have fallen behind in EVERYTHING. Lord, give me strength.
Critical people, now there's a group I don't choose to catch up with! They certainly are a challenge. However, you see, beautiful Audrey....this is why God created women like me & your talented daughter....who choose to have "fun" with criticism & perhaps negative critics, as well. HUMOR.... is the greatest gift/blessing I was given and I use it on each and every occasion I possibly can.
BTW.....My Dad said something similar to what your Dad told you....except because he too used humor 95% of the time, he purposely would give a popular quote, his own little twist....."Listen kid, if ya can't say anything nice about someone....have a little pity on the poor jerk!" See what I mean....impossible to really know what that means. There was no hope for me at birth. Destined to be a wiseguy quipper from day one!.........but, at least I rarely hurt someone's feelings!...........Have a great Thanksgiving, you sweet thing. UP+++
Such inspiring words to live by, vocalcoach. I have found that if a particular person continues to be negative and critical towards hubby or myself, we choose to severely limit the time spent in their company, even if it is a family member. This has been one of the best ways to eliminate a great deal of negativity from our lives :-) voted up.
There is a wonderful book, "The Gift of the Blessing." It offers suggestions for how to deal with family members who are supposed to bless you, but instead hurt you. I highly recommend it to you. It deals with setting healthy boundaries and how to ensure you don't do the same harm to your children.
I have in-laws that consist of six women who like to play "Who can say the most negative thing first." You are right that this behavior is rooted in jealousy and insecurity. For years I tried to smile and ignore, but now we have a new generation of young women coming up and I feel compelled to try to protect them from catching this "virus of negativity." Your suggestions may help. Thanks.
I hope critical people will read this. I don't think people realize how painful their words are. Very moving hub!
I have a good friend who taught me the following: I don't have to go to every fight I'm invited to! I had never thought of that before and ever since she told me this I have learned to avoid many scenarios that could have turned into big confrontations. Thanks for sharing!
Hello Audrey. I am sure glad you wote, "Helpful Tips To Deal with Critical People", my version is more Tony Soprano in nature. lol Very wise information you provide here. Much can be learned by heeding your words.
It is a good hub about the persons who critize us still they need our help to overcome from their problem. Thanks to share. I would like to comeback and read it again.
Solid, solid write, Audrey. I so agree, and being negative and angry too gives a person more power. Thanks for sharing this!!
Hi Audrey,
"Words are powerful and can inspire or destroy." Thank you for your inspiring words.
Voted up +++ and sharing
Have a good day. :)
This is such a great hub and will shed some light on how to deal with people who often use criticism as a tool. It is true that they are probably most often insecure and are hurting, but that does not justify their actions. They are difficult people to be around. Using humor is a great tool! Up, useful and pinning this.
Ah, my sister who is older is like that too. I have tried for so many years to be close to her but now have given up. Since Mom passed away it just doesn't seem worth the effort because she is always going to know it all, too old to change her now. No one can stand someone like this for very long, too bad they can never see that. Great write. ^
Excellent information, Audrey, about critical people and how to handle criticism. In addition to their words and their tone, their body language can inflame us. Look at that first photo. That pointing finger would disturb even the most reasonable person. Thanks for these sensible reminders.
Your words of experience and wisdom are music to my ears Audrey June. I simply love your Fathers advice, no doubt contributing to the incredible person you are. Voted up. A wealth of knowledge my dear friend. Thank you for sharing!
Audrey, so many wonderful and talented writers have hit on the main points, so I'll ask an off the wall question--were the models in the photographs you and your daughter, Lisa? If so, that was a precious choice! Thank you for sharing!
Aloha!
Joe
Hi Dear Lady,
I am sure we all have this sort of negative person in our life. I have one also, but I will not let this person rain on my parade nor do I spend very much time around her.
She can be nice one minute and rude the next---so I rise above it all and change the subject.
I do not have time for negativity in my life---because we only live once and I am planning to enjoy it as much as possible.
You are always the best in helping with any of life’s issues and I am your number 1 fan. Thanks for this hub.
Your Friend,
Bobbi Purvis
Beautifully written and certainly timely. Lots of people could use this advice these days. :)
What a gem! criticism is like a hammer, it can be a weapon to destroy or a tool to build a person. Is a huge responsibility that few people take seriously. For most critical people is almost like breathing, it just comes out. Disregarding the feelings of others as expendable.
An angry remark can belittle a human being, but an exhortation to be the best you can be is better. Because of my upbringing, I know the damage that can cause. Words are worst than sticks and stones, they don't brake your bones but they maim your soul. Thanks for sharing this hub. Hopefully both sides will benefit from it. Blessings!
I spend my time being positive and up. I have found that it drives the overly critical people crazy. :) I guess in a round about way it's a way of getting back. I try to stay away from negativity, I can't always but try. Excellent article. I do agree that constructive criticism is a positive, but becoming overly critical is detrimental. Up, awesome (you did a wonderful job), and sharing.
Brilliantly written, I absolutely loved the quotes.
Very good article! Dealing with critical people or, as I like to describe them - people who are too critical. After all, a little constructive criticism can be a force for harmony and good. Anyway, certainly the way to fend off people who are critical is to not become defensive, angry or retaliate. But you already know that. Later!
There are so many kinds of people one interacts with that it is not easy to cope with critical people just about everyone has their own ways in commenting and in criticism. Some can leave others thoughtless after conversations, they say things to hurt others. Good points here and so true.
Hi Audrey,
This hub is full of wisdom, compassion and practical suggestions for dealing with criticism.
I particularly liked the photo series and the way you used personal experience to illustrate your points.
What you said in the following paragraph most closely matches my own method of dealing with critical people: "When you run into a person who is overly critical of others, just keep in mind that they are unhappy with themselves. And that unhappiness spreads it's projected state onto others. And try as you may, you cannot change their agenda."
Am voting this hub up across the board except for funny, and sharing it.
Sending Hub Hugs and Love,
Gail
You presented a very important subject and explored important aspects. I think the secret is to question or suggest alternatives when you do not agree with someone.
I am viewed as a negative person because I ask the what if questions all the times. "Let's plan a picnic," someone will say. I will say, "All right, but what do we do if it rains." Some people think I am looking for a reason to criticize when actually I am just looking for a viable alternative in case it does rain.
However, I know you are addressing the issues of people who criticize just for the purpose of criticizing. They either want to be the one that is right, or they just enjoy taking cheap shots at other people. We all deal with that time in our lives. Your Hub offers a very good insight into that issue.
Well done,
Larry
Such a good idea. Should start applying all these to my life from today onwards. Great hub, should be shared!
Excellent hub!
In everyday life, we come across such critical people, so often. Your suggestions are so practical and worth following. The best arguments are won by not starting them in the first place. Those having a critical nature are unhappy, dissatisfied and lack in self confidence. We should understand and have sympathy for them, rather than react to their behavior.
Thanks for sharing! Voted up and shared!
Thank you for this. Let me share one of my strategies. As an egotist, I plan my mistakes. This gives critics a controlled arena. Everyone is happy. I learned this in freemasonry.
Dear Audrey,
One of the signs of an excellent hub is the quality of comments it attracts.
This is indeed an excellent, wise and inspiring piece of writing. I love your Daddy's philosophy, your daughter's light but respectful approach and all of the quotes you selected.
The version of Mary Kay's quote that I was taught in management is:
" Be hard on the issue, not the person"
That pearl of wisdom worked. I still use it sparingly in my personal life.
Voted UP and UABI. Love, Maria
What a beautiful Hub! It is helpful to understand what's behind criticism so we can react correctly to it. The hardest thing for me to is to smile and not defend myself--that does just add wood to the fire. I didn't realize that rusticliving is your daughter! Thanks so much for sharing.
I liked Abraham Lincoln's quote. I once had two extremely critical and difficult women bring two of our committee members to tears. I approached them later in the car park and said "Instead of criticising and complaining about what you don't like, why don't you join us and make the changes from the inside?" When they realised I was serious, they joined us and worked selflessly for four years. Voted up, interesting and useful.
Great and informative article.
Yes, you mentioned pride - wealthier, better looking, wiser, etc - I think it's important to note that oftentimes 'critical people' are actually not these things. I find that critical people are actually the opposite and, it's usually less pugnacious individuals that are actually more successful! Voted up!
Take care
John
I will share with you how I deal with critical people....I give them one chance to change and then they are out of my life.
I do not have enough time on this earth to waste on negativity and unkind actions.....that may sound harsh but it is the truth as I see it in my life.
Great suggestions as always, Audrey.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
love always,
bill
I have certainly lived some critical people, and yes it hurt sometimes. I love all your quotes and suggestions. We can choose not to react. I have used the expression, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and just walked off. I think pride is part of it for some and low self esteem for others, as they seem to need to build themselves up by putting others down. I really try to stay away from negative people. Misery is an option and not one I choose. Excellent hub on an important topic. Voted Up % more!
A wonderful reminder! My parents taught me to be kind and tactful to others. I understand that those who are critical due to suffering from low self-esteem. Critical people often find satisfaction in criticizing others. Yes, you are right that they need love. Once again, a thought-provoking hub! My favorite quote is the last one by William Arthur Ward. Well-done!
Thanks for SHARING. Useful & Awesome. Voted up & shared
Lots of people use criticism to control others. All abusers use it to belittle and demean those they abuse, making them easier to control.
There is such a thing as loving and constructive criticism, of course and it's usefully employed all the time by our teachers.
Great Hub, Audrey!
Dear Audrey,
Excellent hub here as to our daily challenge of dealing with critical people and trying not to react to such! This is very helpful to understand that the critical person is suffering from low self-esteem and possibly other ailments.
Yes, the one thing that God does hate for sure is pride, as we are, as you said, making ourselves "God" over others. And we know what comes after that pride, a big fall from grace!!!
When my children were teenagers and I would hear them talking on the phone about another person, I would later place little sticky notes on their bathroom mirror with quotes from scripture, and my favorite one about gossip is: "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." --Proverbs 16:27
I would just use the " . . . a gossip separates close friends." And how true is that fact!
Really useful hub here that all should read to keep the peace! I love the quote, "Criticize the act, not the person."
Voted up ++++ and sharing
God bless, Faith Reaper
My ex, not at all unhappy with himself, had a critical and negative attitude. The scars he had imposed on me and my children are indelible and forever sensitive. This attitude is merely a bad habit, based on pride, yes, while pride is based on egoism. Audrey, you have stressed this perfectly: “Being critical is rude, negative, selfish, destructive, manipulating, discouraging and rarely justified.”
Critical people are beyond redemption until Life knocks them down.
Although one will never guess that this could be true, and least of all the person with the critical attitude, the reasons you have given for their behaviour are SPOT-ON!
Your tips are the best, but oh, so very-very difficult to practice in the presence of a critical person.
I, too, was at a time a critical person towards a specific person in a certain environment. Remembering my behavior makes me miserable with shame and regret. But this also serves as an eye-opener. Action incites reaction. So we, in the shoes of a critic’s target, must keep in mind that our actions incite reaction. We have to find a way to provoke positive reactions, disabling the critic’s sharp, instinctive sting.
What a tall order!
"Criticize the act, not the person," is my favourite quote.
Audrey, my siblings and I were also indoctrinated with those words of your daddy, and still I have slipped in an environment where criticizing was the only tool I could use to achieve an important goal.
Your relationship with your daughter, including your admiration for her, is absolutely remarkable, and I can proudly and gratefully say that my daughter and I have the same.
I am linking this hub of yours to mine with the same theme.
Sorry for the enormous comment, my dear Audrey, but this is one of those topics that boils like a volcano in my soul. It needs only one word to explode....
Hugs to you and yours :)
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