High Functioning Sociopath

I am a high-functioning, female sociopath.

We're not all the same. Some of us are better at what we do when we choose to do it. The exceptionally skilled ones are often called "high-functioning sociopaths". Such as myself.

This is me. I know what I am, I am very aware of the things that I do, and am willing to be open and honest about it. I won't be writing about things that can put me in jail - obviously. I'm by no means bragging about anything that I will say, but I think that hearing facts from a 'regular" person on the street that actually has the personality disorder, rather than from the psychologists who collect their information from hardened criminals in jail, would be a lot more accurate for those that want to know more about it. I've basically been studying myself my entire life. I got this.

The term "high-functioning" isn’t a diagnosis, it just describes a type of sociopath. The other end of the spectrum is the “low functioning” sociopath, which aren’t as good at flying under the radar. They have less education, and are amazing at bullying, or very openly destroying someone. I have a female friend who is exactly like this.

She will ruin a person’s entire life without batting an eye. Their home life, their job. She finds it funny and isn’t the least bit embarrassed to tell everyone what she did. She doesn't do this at random either, it's always provoked. One of the biggest differences between her and myself is that she's hurt animals. When she was really young she shredded her hamster up with a cheese grater. I shot a muskrat once because I had been drinking all night and knew my boyfriend at the time had a couple guns in his trunk. That thing kept going underwater and popping up somewhere else. That made me more determined. I wasn't leaving that slough until it was dead. In the end I was covered in mud and had to shoot it in the head because it was seizing. I'll never do that again. I love animals. I love my kids and my animals.

High functioning sociopaths are extremely good at being what people want to see. Most people that know me have no idea. Only one or two people know the truth. A HFS has complete control over what they’re doing. We are in general, more dangerous than a low functioning sociopath because we don’t get caught easily. You would never know that a HFS is abnormal. They could be your neighbor, a counsellor, a police officer or teacher.

This is not to say that all high functioning sociopaths are dangerous, but we have complete control over our drives, and we can choose to act on them - or not act on them. Lots of HFS are in positions of power. I guess we just have a different and more competitive way of looking at the world than the average person.

This type of sociopath is generally extremely smart, as shown by behavior and IQ tests - I am very smart, but didn't like most things, people, or teachers in school, dropped out, and then returned years later as an adult; when I went back with a grade 8 education, I had to take different tests to see where I scored so they knew what grade to put me in; they put me straight into grade 12, and I completed the year. This was only because I couldn't enroll in the military or take an EMT course without it.

• Often comes from a strong family background – for the most part, yes.
• Can be extremely charming and show amazing social skills - absolutely.
• Is driven - I know what I want, and I often know exactly how to get it – if I don’t know how to get it, I figure out how I will.
• Is calculating, cleverly assessing a situation and purposely planning action – yes, always.
• is patient and willing to work people and situations until the time is right for her to make her move - I’ve been known to lie in wait for a very long time, even up to 10 years. Life is like a game of chess.

These characteristics do make a high-functioning sociopath seem a little bit scary. I say a little bit, but I'm sure it sounds a lot scary to most people. I’m always several steps ahead of everyone, and no one ever suspects anything. I’ve often used “chameleon” to describe myself in different situations. I can blend in with any type of people anywhere, whether it’s teenagers, teachers, police, other parents or adults.

They say the high-functioning sociopath can cause a lot of damage, and I have done it time and time again. It’s really been a lifetime struggle, and only recently have I found out why I’ve always done the things that I’ve done. It feels like I'm literally half angel/half demon, like I'm split directly down the middle. And again, I don’t randomly attack people, it’s always provoked.

I told my long-time friend about this the other day, and she knew a few of the criteria fit me, but said, the rest of it didn’t. She was stunned when I told her that it all did.